[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Just stopping by to tell you all how much I appreciate you. You offer wise counsel and helpful anecdotes. I love you.

Awww! Back atcha!

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi Md, I'm sorry you're feeling bad . Since you already had the assessment, what's the next step?

I just have to wait it out until Tuesday. I also have an email into my therapist. Hopefully she can help and won’t get mad. I seem to be just really confused during nights for some reason. But days are fine.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

What kind of rum do you use? I see now why you got some batter on the walls. As for my mom having a lot of flour, she buys a lot because the shortbread takes a lot and if she just goes with what she has, she has run out before. She even mentioned that to me today!

Dark rum is the best for my rum balls. I used Meyer's Original Dark Jamaican. It is inexpensive, but still good.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Soups when I moved into the house I bought I found pepperoni stuck to the wall behind where the couch had been. (The prior owners didn’t care how they left it).
A little batter (which I know you cleaned) would be a much happier surprise for
New owners.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Soups when I moved into the house I bought I found pepperoni stuck to the wall behind where the couch had been. (The prior owners didn’t care how they left it).
A little batter (which I know you cleaned) would be a much happier surprise for
New owners.

That would be a funny surprise. I assume the previous residents ate a lot of pizza

Yes, I cleaned off the batter. It's funny how far it flew, though.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Soups when I moved into the house I bought I found pepperoni stuck to the wall behind where the couch had been. (The prior owners didn’t care how they left it).
A little batter (which I know you cleaned) would be a much happier surprise for
New owners.

That is disgusting!

In one house I moved into, my daughter found a bag of weed on top of a tall free-standing closet.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Just stopping by to tell you all how much I appreciate you. You offer wise counsel and helpful anecdotes. I love you.

~~~~~~~~

[MuddyBoots]

I’m sick of fighting these demons. I’m over it. I feel so hopeless.

[dsmith]

Feeling miserable and stuck in neutral this morning!!!!!

Here are a couple noteworthy items:

1. Sugar. I downed two bowls of chocolate pretzels, chocolate bark, and Oreo cookies.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Bipolar & Sugar—How We Unintentionally Sabotage Our Stability | bpHope.com
It's no secret that Mondays are tough on everyone. In the classic movie Office Space, one worker asks if her colleague is coming down with a "case of the Monday's." However, it's a double whammy when I indulge in a chocolate binge the night before.

I need to put an end to this interminable Groundhog Day-esque treadmill. It's destroying my life.

2. Calm. So I downloaded an app called "Calm." Has anyone heard of / tried this? I've never been a fan of meditation; it bores me to pieces.

However, I often spend hours at night tossing and turning. So lately I've been turning on the app and listening to "soundscapes."

Jury is still out.
Calm - The #1 App for Meditation and Sleep

3. Standing Desk. I have a very strange situation: I need both consistency and variety. When I was working fulltime, I was in consulting. This is a very nomadic existence: one week you're in Wichita cramped in a tiny conference room. The next you're in a break room, without a seat. Often you spend hours at the airport.

This was brutal for me. I need to have a familiar surroundings and a sense of routine.

However, after about 3 days I get very stressed out. The monotony is unbearable, and I need a change.

So last Thursday I invested in a standing desk. The nice thing is, it's better for me overall: sitting really does a number on your back and posture. Also the nice thing about this desk is it has a 2-tiered structure. So I am able to rotate between sitting and standing.

Here's some info on the topic

Only problem is, with this setup I don't have a dual screen monitor. This is super necessary for me because things disappear from my memory bank if they're not right in front of my face.
7 Benefits of a Standing Desk

4. Posting on PsychCentral. With that, I think I'll bring today's "brain dump" to an end.

Feel free to weigh in if so inclined. And have a great day / week!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by dsmith

....2. Calm. So I downloaded an app called "Calm." Has anyone heard of / tried this? I've never been a fan of meditation; it bores me to pieces.

However, I often spend hours at night tossing and turning. So lately I've been turning on the app and listening to "soundscapes."

Jury is still out.
Calm - The #1 App for Meditation and Sleep

...

I have heard of Calm and it looks really helpful to me. For some strange reason it hasn't occurred to me to download it, but I will.

Aside from the double screen issue, your new desk sounds terrific.

Oh - and the eating...I don't know which meds you're on, but it's my experience that almost all psych meds cause almost insatiable cravings for sugar. It's very difficult to control it. What I do is not allow myself to have anything in my home that I can overindulge on. It's not perfect, because I will go out and buy something sweet, or have something delivered. But not having the sweet food available 24/7 does help.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m feeling kind of mixed today. My therapist says she won’t and actually can’t work with with me until I complete my outpatient program. She wants me to focus on the program and also there’s like general benefit or whatever issues involved. They won’t pay for 2 therapists. But she sent a couple nice emails so I do think she cares. But not seeing her for 4-6 weeks might be hard. I did do all my Christmas shopping this morning and the stores were not busy. I went to Target and Dicks Sporting Goods and the grocery store. I got everyone’s present and a North Face hoodie for myself for Christmas. I’m trying to set up the outpatient program now. Just gotta wait for an email to fill out then they will call us to schedule. Don’t know why they said tomorrow but it looks like I’ll start it later in the week. I also have to do this thing with my insurance tomorrow. It’s virtual as well and it’s just routine questions and I get a $75 Visa gift card for doing it. My insurance is great the way I can see good doctors and go to good hospitals plus they pay for a lot of stuff. So I’m happy about that. But yeah overall I’m just mixed today.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by dsmith

Feeling miserable and stuck in neutral this morning!!!!!

Here are a couple noteworthy items:

2. Calm. So I downloaded an app called "Calm." Has anyone heard of / tried this? I've never been a fan of meditation; it bores me to pieces.

However, I often spend hours at night tossing and turning. So lately I've been turning on the app and listening to "soundscapes."

Jury is still out.
[url=https://www.calm.com/]Calm - The #1 App for Meditation and Sleep

Feel free to weigh in if so inclined. And have a great day / week!

I paid for a year’s membership on the Calm app. I don’t use the meditations since I found a better program. I mainly use the sleep stories and calming nature sounds. I haven’t tried out the series yet. It’s a good app but I probably won’t renew.

[Soupe du jour]

dsmith, I hear you on the routine. Kudos for you in looking for and finding some different ways to change what has been a difficult to tolerate change in our lives. As for the sugar consumption, I tend to resort to that, too, when I'm off.

Mountaindewed, I hope if you do attend the IOP that you will get something positive out of it. It already seems like your view of your therapist is changing slightly.

[Soupe du jour]

I feel like I'm growing more and more tired/lethargic every day. I truly wish I knew what the cause(s) were. It's very difficult because the lull between the storms and taking three new medications (blood pressure & cholesterol) arrived at about the same time. I'm also not looking forward to having the Doppler ultrasound I mentioned a few days back. I'm not looking forward to many things, actually. I'd really rather not go on a road trip. I almost wish we could just go to Czech Republic already and get started with that new life.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I feel like I'm growing more and more tired/lethargic every day. I truly wish I knew what the cause(s) were. It's very difficult because the lull between the storms and taking three new medications (blood pressure & cholesterol) arrived at about the same time. I'm also not looking forward to having the Doppler ultrasound I mentioned a few days back. I'm not looking forward to many things, actually. I'd really rather not go on a road trip. I almost wish we could just go to Czech Republic already and get started with that new life.

I think the way you feel about just being there already is 100% understandable. You've worked yourself to the bone. Then having to drag it out by getting medical stuff done...ugh. I'd feel as you do, I think. It seems this is the time to practice good self care and practice taking each moment as it is right now.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I’m feeling kind of mixed today. My therapist says she won’t and actually can’t work with with me until I complete my outpatient program. She wants me to focus on the program and also there’s like general benefit or whatever issues involved. They won’t pay for 2 therapists. But she sent a couple nice emails so I do think she cares. But not seeing her for 4-6 weeks might be hard. I did do all my Christmas shopping this morning and the stores were not busy. I went to Target and Dicks Sporting Goods and the grocery store. I got everyone’s present and a North Face hoodie for myself for Christmas. I’m trying to set up the outpatient program now. Just gotta wait for an email to fill out then they will call us to schedule. Don’t know why they said tomorrow but it looks like I’ll start it later in the week. I also have to do this thing with my insurance tomorrow. It’s virtual as well and it’s just routine questions and I get a $75 Visa gift card for doing it. My insurance is great the way I can see good doctors and go to good hospitals plus they pay for a lot of stuff. So I’m happy about that. But yeah overall I’m just mixed today.

I have the feeling that she cares very much!

[*Beth*]

100 pages so go to check-in #53