Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

My mother was hospitalized for low oxygenation and then the discharge coordinator recommended that I get her discharged on Hospice. So I spoke with the hospice liason, and after her case was presented to the hospice doctor, she was accepted.

She has end-stage COPD, MS, and a slew of other things. The discharge coordinator told me that my mom's acceptance into hospice is and can be due to her diagnoses and not a doctor saying she has x amount of time to live. Hospice provides a great deal of and excellent services, so I am very grateful that they are now one board, but continue to worry and worry about my mother.

I spent the night at her house while she was hospitalized. Hadn't brought my meds because hadn't expected to have to take her to the ER, so I missed two doses of all meds. Slept terribly that night.

Driving the 1.5 hours home last night, I was crying and felt towards the end of what I can take. I got a call from hospice very early this morning, so still haven't gotten much sleep, and sleep is the single most important thing for me to avoid episodes. I feel like hell.

My mother was in terrible shape after the hospital, felt mistreated by the nurses, and was terrified about the prospect of being cared for by a caregiver she dislikes overnight. But I had to go. I needed my meds, and I needed sleep. If I had stayed, I wouldn't have slept, she gets up multiple times a night.

Thanks for reading...

I'm so sorry. That's rough. The hospice seems like it should be a relief to you though, yes? I seem to recall the family not exactly being helpful on her care. Hope you are able to get some good sleep soon...

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Note to self (and whomever else this might help): Do not mix Zevia cream soda (flavored with Stevia sugar substitute) with pickle-flavored pork rinds! EWWWW!

Noted. I have zevia cream soda too lol

[Blue_Bird]

I was having a bad day but I played my ukulele and that helped. I want to start practicing every day again. It brings me a lot of happiness, very fulfilling hobby

[Daonnachd]

Oh, @Gabyunbound, I'm so sorry to learn of what's happening with your mother. Sorry, too, about your situation with your meds. I hope you're able to stay on top of the meds as you travel back and forth.

[bpcyclist]

Lost a friend on PC tonight. Just.heartbroken. so tired of being judged. Maybe I should quit posting and crawl away. Why am I so hated ? Just do not see it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Lost a friend on PC tonight. Just.heartbroken. so tired of being judged. Maybe I should quit posting and crawl away. Why am I so hated ? Just do not see it.

I cannot even imagine anyone judging you in a negative or hateful way. You have a divine soul that sparkles and shines. You are a rare gem. Is it possible that the person was concerned about you, just because you've been having a rough go lately? Please: don't quit posting and crawl away .

[*Beth*]

My eyes are so dry from meds (probably Cogentin), I was having trouble being on the forum for more than a very short time. Then for some reason I was playing around with changing the color format. I switched it to "Black Smart" and discovered that the black background is so much easier on my eyes! I wish I could make the entire internet black, instead of the glaring white that it is.

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but at this moment in time I'm holding my own. I truly needed to go IP Wednesday night, but I'm guessing the 2 med increases kicked in by Thursday morning. Once that happened I felt stable enough to use other tools, cbt, meditation, etc.

I hear that Los Angeles is in full lockdown again and our governor is saying that if our covid cases continue to rise most of the state will go back into full lockdown. But I feel hopeful because the first vaccinations might start by the end of December.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I cannot even imagine anyone judging you in a negative or hateful way. You have a divine soul that sparkles and shines. You are a rare gem. Is it possible that the person was concerned about you, just because you've been having a rough go lately? Please: don't quit posting and crawl away .

Thank you, darling, for supporting me. I am so grateful.

I started a couple things today to help pass the time at home during COVID. I started binge-watching a Canadian series from the 2010s called "Being Erica" about a 32-year-old woman who has a lot of regrets whose therapist sends her back in time to behave differently. If only therapists could do that! I also started knitting a simple scarf. It's just to pass the time.

So glad you're feeling some better, Beth. I'm hopeful about the vaccines too.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[Mountaindewed]

I am still not feeling great. My left side and middle abdomen hurts and my back is covered in these pinpoint red dots. I’ve been getting migraines for the first time and I’ve had 4 infections since the end of July. Yeah I’m kinda nervous.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Note to self (and whomever else this might help): Do not mix Zevia cream soda (flavored with Stevia sugar substitute) with pickle-flavored pork rinds! EWWWW!

I’ve only tried the mountain Zevia hoping it tasted like really good Mountain Dew. It didn’t.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

My eyes are so dry from meds (probably Cogentin), I was having trouble being on the forum for more than a very short time. Then for some reason I was playing around with changing the color format. I switched it to "Black Smart" and discovered that the black background is so much easier on my eyes! I wish I could make the entire internet black, instead of the glaring white that it is.

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but at this moment in time I'm holding my own. I truly needed to go IP Wednesday night, but I'm guessing the 2 med increases kicked in by Thursday morning. Once that happened I felt stable enough to use other tools, cbt, meditation, etc.

I hear that Los Angeles is in full lockdown again and our governor is saying that if our covid cases continue to rise most of the state will go back into full lockdown. But I feel hopeful because the first vaccinations might start by the end of December.

So proud of you, Beth. I am always here for you.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I am still not feeling great. My left side and middle abdomen hurts and my back is covered in these pinpoint red dots. I’ve been getting migraines for the first time and I’ve had 4 infections since the end of July. Yeah I’m kinda nervous.

You are doing great, MD. We are here for you.

[bpcyclist]

Woke up early and watching news. President has lost his mind. Going to prison. Oh well.

Going hiking with daladico in a few hours. Yay ! Hugs and love to all !!!!

[MuddyBoots]

I hate myself so much. Finally get a job and I ruin it by snorting oxy before the drug test and before therapy. It was going to be 3 weeks clean tomorrow. I’m not even going to show up today. I have other crap to do anyways.
Lost power last night for five hours. I’m gonna go for a walk later check out the damage to the trails.
Getting back in touch with a (more than) friend too. He likes cooking for me but truth be told I’ve been trying to not feed my fat *** lately.

edit: Therapist explained why she thinks I have ADHD. Says I seem very back and forth and all over the place. Bouncing from topic to topic and really unable to focus for long. I’m going to ask to be tested next time I talk to pnurse.

[Sunflower123]

My therapist told me about some guided sleep meditations on YouTube by the Honest Guys. It worked for me last night in winding down and getting to sleep. It was great! They have other meditations as well. Just FYI.

[dsmith]

Any Seinfeld fans here?

Did any of you see the "Serenity Now" episode? In this episode:
1. Serenity Now! Frank Costanza starts a series of tapes called "Serenity Now." Whenever he feels agitated, he shouts the phrase "serenity now!"

2. <Ding!> Lloyd Braun, once George Costanza's nemesis, takes a job with Frank selling computers out of their garage. He is ostensibly doing a great job, ringing the bell continuously to signify that he's making sales. It turns out, however, that this is a ruse: he simply likes hearing the sound of the bell.

While comical, this episode really resonated with me:
1. I find myself stressesd out throughout the day. I've tried numerous strategies to combat this. The most destructive one has been relying on the low-effort, high-destruction routes of social media and constant websurfing. It's preferable to trying to do any work (which requires concentration, and provides variable gratification / fairly regular frustration).

2. I love that dopamine hit when I accomplish even the smallest of tasks: I keep a running "ledger" that lists all my "TCB's" (taking care of business - another Seinfeld construct borrowed from Elvis). Even if it's "write a 'Thanks' email", I need to log it and then move it from the "In Progress" to "Done" column.

A comprehensive "audit" of my time would reveal that for every 1 minute of work, I spend 4 minutes documenting.

Serenity Now! <ding!>

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Thank you, darling, for supporting me. I am so grateful.

You betcha!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I started a couple things today to help pass the time at home during COVID. I started binge-watching a Canadian series from the 2010s called "Being Erica" about a 32-year-old woman who has a lot of regrets whose therapist sends her back in time to behave differently. If only therapists could do that! I also started knitting a simple scarf. It's just to pass the time.

So glad you're feeling some better, Beth. I'm hopeful about the vaccines too.

Hugs to all who struggle!

Oh, that's so pretty! I so wish I could knit or crochet.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I hate myself so much. Finally get a job and I ruin it by snorting oxy before the drug test and before therapy. It was going to be 3 weeks clean tomorrow. I’m not even going to show up today. I have other crap to do anyways.
Lost power last night for five hours. I’m gonna go for a walk later check out the damage to the trails.
Getting back in touch with a (more than) friend too. He likes cooking for me but truth be told I’ve been trying to not feed my fat *** lately.

edit: Therapist explained why she thinks I have ADHD. Says I seem very back and forth and all over the place. Bouncing from topic to topic and really unable to focus for long. I’m going to ask to be tested next time I talk to pnurse.

~~~ ~~~

[dsmith]

Originally Posted by Sapien

edit: Therapist explained why she thinks I have ADHD. Says I seem very back and forth and all over the place. Bouncing from topic to topic and really unable to focus for long. I’m going to ask to be tested next time I talk to pnurse.

Thanks for sharing; I have ADHD as well. Bouncing back and forth between topics has been a huge challenge for me. I find myself exhausted by the end of the day, and have very little to show for it.

Hang in there; many people here are going through similar things, and we're all here to support you.

[MuddyBoots]

Wow. Same fking day I relapse they decide to do “random” drug testing at the mental health center. I couldn’t pee though so they’re doing it some other “random” day, probably wait until next time I slip up.
It was weird, nurse was just acting off. Kept commenting on how relaxed I look. My heart rate was super low too. It’s normally at like 100 and today it was in the 40s.
They fking know. They don’t need a piss test.
Also my t probably has this info that I flat out admitted to using in her notes that they can read any time they want.
And this is literally the first time since I started going to this place that they’ve tried testing me. 2 years.

[Mountaindewed]

I have therapy in 5 minutes. I really don’t want to do it.

[dsmith]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I have therapy in 5 minutes. I really don’t want to do it.

Sorry you feel that way; what is it about therapy that you don't like? Maybe yu could look for a different therapist?

[Nammu]

Found the perfect gift for mum. She told everyone she wants nothing. But she has a ceramic Christmas tree she loves. The star was lost and a few of the lights. So I ordered a replacement pack from Amazon! She’ll. Love it. 💕