[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Oh, wow - I'm glad the u/s is okay!

If it's anxiety it could make you really sick and give you a lot of pain. Anxiety can be vicious and seem like a horrible illness.

I know I’ve been under a lot of stress and anxiety regarding therapy and my move and Covid. This seemed to happen, everything the physical and mental health stuff, seemed to happen, right around the time my therapist said I wouldn’t see her in person before I moved. So I wonder if it could be that. I know I’ve been kind of in denial that it has upset me so much and is causing a lot of stress and anxiety.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

If it’s anxiety then I’ll just have to figure out how to handle it. I’ve never had such extreme stress and anxiety where it caused weight loss though. But I guess it’s possible. Unless I do have an eating disorder and food just grosses me out and causes stomach pain. I don’t know if that’s how an eating disorder can work.

I hope your tests things turn out well and you are ok.

Thanks, Mountaindewed.

I remember a few times in my life (even once as a maybe 8 year old child) having periods when I had such digestive issues (maybe heartburn, indigestion, other) that I felt nauseated at even the thought of eating. Or I was able to eat a little, but only sweet stuff. Everything else made me feel like vomiting. Once, the time I was about 8 years, it was so severe that my mother took me to a doctor. The doctor told her that I did not have anorexia. That's all I remember. In any case, it did pass. Again, I experienced similar later down the line. It always eventually passed. Sometimes I found myself downing antacids or thinking I was going to die of a heart attack. I think most all of those times digestive distress was involved. In my case, I never had any kind of eating disorder. That is not an issue for me, and never was.

[*Beth*]

Absolutely! My daughter, now 35, has had severe generalized anxiety disorder since she was in 3rd grade. It was scary, how sick she'd get. Every time it happened we'd think "this time" she's seriously ill. And every time it would turn out to be anxiety. Throwing up, extreme pain, etc. etc. With a lot of therapy, an anti-anxiety med (Buspar) and hard work she has her anxiety under control and is doing very well.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve had anxiety like this before when I was a teenager. But not since. But my doctor is in network so I just have to set up an appointment. He’s at an office that works out of an outpatient surgery hospital. So I won’t have to get it done in an office. I’m kind of worried about going under anesthesia but It should be ok.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been drinking a ton of Fresca. Almost everyday. Fresca is a grapefruit soda. I read that can interfere with meds and make them less effective. Grapefruit is also really bad for trans people on hormone injections.

That could actually explain a lot. I gave the rest of the case to my mom. I also plan on asking my Pdoc to raise my Geodon to 100 at night and my lamictal too. I don’t want to be on anything new. Even if it is just my anxiety I want to take care of it and my main thing is to feel better and get to where I was 1.5 month ago.

[*Beth*]

So frustrated. I'm trying to use Mood Tracker and am getting the warning message that means PC is having a problem. Frustrated with this whole damn day.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

So frustrated. I'm trying to use Mood Tracker and am getting the warning message that means PC is having a problem. Frustrated with this whole damn day.

I'm having a frustrating and grrrr day too, its maddening. I haven't tried the Mood Tracker, maybe I will (but not today, I'm nearly out of energy completely and I have a lot of chores to complete before I crash.

Love and hugs to all

[Soupe du jour]

Tomorrow we're supposed to be getting the first nor'easter storm of the winter. The estimates are between 12 and 20 inches (30 cm to 50 cm) of snow in the one day, along with wind gusts, which can mean snow drifts and very poor visibility. It isn't supposed to hit my area until around 1 pm, though. Our movers said they'd come at 8 am tomorrow morning. Hopefully they will be able to load the truck and get on their way, quickly, and safely. Otherwise, if it gets cancelled, we can't get on their schedule until next week. We had intended to be on the road trip before then. Please send us luck that the storm comes later than expected. I hope that there won't be any power outages. That would suck!

We aren't keeping our bed, so didn't ship it. At least we have it to sleep on until we vacate the place. It's a bit motely. A twin-size sheet on a queen size bed, and the uncovered comforter with a twin-size quilt, all of which will be gotten rid of. We had absolutely no lamps for our bedroom left unpacked, so our neighbor lent us two. It's almost like camping, in a way, but a teensy bit more comfy.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Tomorrow we're supposed to be getting the first nor'easter storm of the winter. The estimates are between 12 and 20 inches (30 cm to 50 cm) of snow in the one day, along with wind gusts, which can mean snow drifts and very poor visibility. It isn't supposed to hit my area until around 1 pm, though. Our movers said they'd come at 8 am tomorrow morning. Hopefully they will be able to load the truck and get on their way, quickly, and safely. Otherwise, if it gets cancelled, we can't get on their schedule until next week. We had intended to be on the road trip before then. Please send us luck that the storm comes later than expected. I hope that there won't be any power outages. That would suck!

We aren't keeping our bed, so didn't ship it. At least we have it to sleep on until we vacate the place. It's a bit motely. A twin-size sheet on a queen size bed, and the uncovered comforter with a twin-size quilt, all of which will be gotten rid of. We had absolutely no lamps for our bedroom left unpacked, so our neighbor lent us two. It's almost like camping, in a way, but a teensy bit more comfy.

Best of luck may the movers be on time and the foul weather late.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all, I am doing alright. I have a job interview tomorrow for a job I really want so fingers crossed. I am just nervous because my mood and focus and energy are off. Feeling brain fog, tired, but irritable all at once. Also, been randomly crying the past couple of days. I think I will call my psychiatrist if this keeps up. I thought I might have found a good psychiatrist for when I move, but turns out they are not taking patients. I am just really stressed about that honestly. I actually started crying that they weren't taking patients (although I am crying anyway, so maybe that's mostly why). I just really want to get stable and I think this current psychiatrist could help, but I feel it is best that I move for other reasons. Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well! I'll try to catch up and read posts.

[MuddyBoots]

I’m supposed to be on the interstate right now headed for the big mountains but my car is a useless POS so I am stuck at home. Probably gonna do something I will regret within the hour.

[Soupe du jour]

Well, right now I'm doubting that the moving truck and moving guys will show up today. Last night they said they would come at 8 am, and it's heading towards 9 am and there is no one. Yesterday the main office of the moving outfit emailed my husband that we should reschedule to next week. I asked Hubby if he could contact them and check on the status. But he is doing nothing. I hope Hubby doesn't wait so long that we lose possible reschedule dates early next week. This is all a huge mess, all because of this coming snow storm! What's ridiculous is that only a week ago the weather had been so warm that trees were beginning to blossom prematurely, now we may have 1 to 2 feet of snow?!?!

I have a phone session with my nephrologist in a bit. If he says I need more tests, I will probably tell him that I can't get them until Czech Republic. That is unless I have some dire need to asap. Like imminent death.

Our association sent an email to all in the HOA houses that with the snow we should not park on the road, not park in our driveways, and not park in the guest lots. They say we should all park in our garages, but the garages are only one-car garages and 90% of residents have their garages so full of stuff that no cars will fit into them. So where should we all park? In Florida?

Update: The packing guys did show up, just after 9 am. They say the truck should arrive around 12 noon. The snow is supposed to start between 1 and 2 pm. This is a real nail-biter!

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

These past four months, I have done what I had to do, which has been far far beyond what I've done for much of 12 years. I just had to do it. I had to. There was no room for becoming too ill. Of course it could have been possible that I became too ill, but I managed not to. I'm supremely happy about that and proud of my ability to use ever single coping skill possible and just keep my eye on the prize.

I want to give a shout out to THIS^. Big time. Eyes on the prize.

I very much relate to the "no room for becoming ill". It sounds like a horrible thing, yet I can't help but give it at least some degree of help in keeping me pretty darn stable. Throw in some coping skills for the "bumps in the road", and it's a good recipe. (Heehee, that's just the way the words came to me, but who could resist once realizing how apropos?)

I hope things go smoothly, but, as that's so often not the case, just remember, you'll get there. You'll get there. Eyes on the prize!

[prettymccute]

we have ice here today, so I'm staying in where it's warm.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by prettymccute

we have ice here today, so I'm staying in where it's warm.

Good idea, that's what I'm doing too It's currently 17 degrees Fahrenheit here and supposed to be even colder tomorrow and snow. I'm staying inside in my warm apartment

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I want to give a shout out to THIS^. Big time. Eyes on the prize.

I very much relate to the "no room for becoming ill". It sounds like a horrible thing, yet I can't help but give it at least some degree of help in keeping me pretty darn stable. Throw in some coping skills for the "bumps in the road", and it's a good recipe. (Heehee, that's just the way the words came to me, but who could resist once realizing how apropos?)

I hope things go smoothly, but, as that's so often not the case, just remember, you'll get there. You'll get there. Eyes on the prize!

Thank you so much, Innerzone! Let us all never give up!

There have, indeed, been times when I had to accept being incapable, not to mention in extreme misery. But that had to be temporary.

Once I wrote a blog post sort of on this topic. I called it "Making Progress in the School of Hard Knocks". I won't take too much space posting the whole thing, but an except reads:

To describe my bipolar journey these last several years, I used to use an analogy of slipping down the side of a mountain, again and again, as I struggled to hoist myself or scratch and claw towards the top. I had to learn a degree of acceptance of this struggle, but also how to find pleasure and strength in my current spot(s). And yet, I prevented myself from losing hope of seeing and experiencing the world from a higher (or at least different) vantage point. So, very very slowly, as I can, I inch my way upward, or take steps forward along lateral paths. As I traverse and ascend, the world takes on a new and interesting view. Sometimes I take a break in a spot, and rest and meditate, but eventually move on. If I fall again, I try to choose a new route or one I wish to revisit in some way, but hopefully only for good purposes.

If or when I’ll ever reach the top of such a mountain, I don’t know. Is it even necessary in the end? My journey will not be for naught. All I know is that staying at the bottom forever is not an option for me. I will not be chained forever down there, nor will I dig a hole even further down to climb into.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel pretty badly today. Group went ok. But it’s just the idea of going to it that gets to me. I’m ok during group. But before there’s a lot of anxiety and afterwards there’s just a lot of depression of if I’m doing or saying the right things. Sometimes I just feel bad. I’m going to ask my Pdoc to raise my Geodon to 100 at night and my lamictal to 225. I think that will help a lot.

I tried going out grocery shopping after group. I left my phone at home on purpose. But every stores parking lot was jam packed and there were lines outside some stores to get in. So I didn’t bother and just came home. My mom went out earlier though and got me dark chocolate Oreos and cranberry English muffins.

[Soupe du jour]

Though the packers were at my house again, and totally finished the packing, the main truck is not coming. That is likely rescheduled for Monday, when we may or may not even be home. We will try to get my husband's best friend to come to let them in. Far from ideal, but what are we going to do?

Apparently because of covid-19, the usual 6 to 8 weeks for our belongings to reach their destination will now be more like 9 weeks. Our life will be quite disrupted for some time now. Far beyond even just 9 weeks.

[childofchaos831]

Thank you @Soupe du jour I am doing okay, still having some memory issues from it that are getting frustrating but overall okay.

[Nammu]

Oh ugh. My car insurance just came. I pay a year up front to get additional discount and the dr called and said my insurance refused to pay for the hearing aids because I have money! I’m on SSDI and that money is because I pitch pennies and go with- out. Geez thats over 3000 dollars! So I can kiss my savings good bye. Plus I over spent on Christmas for the grandkids.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I’m supposed to be on the interstate right now headed for the big mountains but my car is a useless POS so I am stuck at home. Probably gonna do something I will regret within the hour.

Ugggh, I'm so sorry, Sapien. I also drive a clunker...2003 Saturn. Actually, I don't drive it because it's dead right now and needs to go to the mechanic. Car trouble can be sooo discouraging.

[VerMOZZica]

I`ve been off my Rexulti for a few days and have been feeling withdrawal effects. I didn`t want to stop cold turkey but it hasn`t been approved . So there I go . I had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist last week and he prescribed a new med for my depression. I haven`t started in yet because frankly I`m afraid of the side effects. That`s how it`s been going with me . Hugs and warm wishes to all that need or want them.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by VerMOZZica

I`ve been off my Rexulti for a few days and have been feeling withdrawal effects. I didn`t want to stop cold turkey but it hasn`t been approved . So there I go . I had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist last week and he prescribed a new med for my depression. I haven`t started in yet because frankly I`m afraid of the side effects. That`s how it`s been going with me . Hugs and warm wishes to all that need or want them.

That is inhumane. Horrifying. Unforgivable. I'm so sorry.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My family member, really my replacement father, died last night. I'm so glad he isn't suffering anymore; the last 4-5 months were bad for him. But I'm going to miss him so much. Not much else to say.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

My family member, really my replacement father, died last night. I'm so glad he isn't suffering anymore; the last 4-5 months were bad for him. But I'm going to miss him so much. Not much else to say.

Hugs rainbow. Even when it’s for the best it hurts. I’m sorry.