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Default Feb 22, 2021 at 08:52 PM
  #561
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Push for the referral, as they have a strong tendency to get "lost." So if they don't call you within 5 business days, you call them.

I’m in Canada so the system can be a little slow. He put a rush on it so it should only be a couple weeks.
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Default Feb 22, 2021 at 11:37 PM
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My second cut of my benzo taper down to 18mg Valium went fine. I got to sleep with ease and even slept late. Whew! Quelle relief!

@cogladaid: Yeah, everyone thinks the health care system in Canada is so great. All psychiatrists do up here is provide diagnoses and meds. You get a 15 minute appointment four times a year and it's all just: "Eating?" Check. "Sleeping?" Check. "Next!" I had one airhead psychiatrist the year of my divorce when i stopped being able to work and i was in such intense emotional pain and i could have lit myself on fire in front of her and she wouldn't have done anything.

I'm much happier just seeing my GP who asks relevant questions about my quality of life and invites me to reach out to him any time if i need help. He shows that he reads my emails and follows-up on issues from our last appointment and retains the pertinent facts of my existence.

That airhead psychiatrist was a nightmare. We spent all of one appointment going over the gruesome and grisly circumstances of my brother's death at great personal cost to me and then the next appointment she says, "So, do you have any siblings?" What a negligent, incompetent airhead! I hear psychiatrists get attracted to the profession because they want to figure out what is wrong with them. You get the blind leading the blind.
 
 
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 12:53 AM
  #563
Do you have any siblings???? Really?! Ugh. Sorry that happened to you @whatever2013

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 12:59 AM
  #564
I'm in the States, & my experience with psychiatrists doesn't differ too much from what you describe, whatever2013. I only see mine 4-6 times a year for 15 minute visits. The bulk of my talk is shared with a therapist...when I was going, at least. The "airhead" you mentioned might have been a fluke. I hope you can find suitable treatment, whatever2013 & cogladaid. Good luck.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 11:04 AM
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Do you have a favorite book you could read, or a favorite song or album you could play? These thing help my thoughts get out of feeling so depressed.
I ended up taking a 10mil melatonin around 10. I figured there’s a huge difference between taking them to harm yourself and taking one because your in a lot of pain and can’t sleep.

I was listening to music a lot last night. I think I’ll read today.

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 11:18 AM
  #566
The psychiatrist I saw before was all accusing me of just having too much coffee and alcohol and made me cry, and then on the paperwork diagnosed me as bipolar 2 without even saying it to my face.

I hope I don’t have to talk to the same one.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 11:48 AM
  #567
Hubby and I did a doozy of a grocery shopping trip. Again, buying staples for my pantry. When I got home, I felt so tired that I almost thought I would fall down from exhaustion. Soon after, I realized I forgot my morning medications. Many times lately I've missed my morning medications, but have taken them later in the day. I suppose that's better than skipping them. It's been a good hour since I finally took them (at about 3:45 pm). I wonder if this exhaustion, plus some persistent bouts of heartburn, have been related to this.

Despite above, I made homemade meatballs for spaghetti. I hope the tomato sauce doesn't worsen my digestive distress, but I so wanted something other than Czech cuisine.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 12:00 PM
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Last night was my third night of only a couple hours of sleep. If this continues I’m going to have to call the doc and see what else can be done. Blah, ho hum, dislike this.

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 12:40 PM
  #569
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Last night was my third night of only a couple hours of sleep. If this continues I’m going to have to call the doc and see what else can be done. Blah, ho hum, dislike this.

The three-night rule is one I would always follow, too. In fact, even my psychiatrist suggested that. Hope you sleep soon, Nammu.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 12:47 PM
  #570
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I so wanted something other than Czech cuisine.
I can relate. When I was living in Germany, I had bizarre cravings for American food (they don't eat peanut butter in Germany!). Your post, however, makes me crave Czech cuisine. One of the best meals I ever had was Czech-style goulash when I visited Prague. It makes my mouth water...& I haven't had lunch yet!
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 01:09 PM
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Got my injection today. Nurse said I am full-on manic and had me stay for a bit so she could get in touch with my pnurse. I see where she's coming from, but I don't believe her that much. She says I'm noticeably more amped up than usual. This is my TRUE SELF! Is it wrong to feel good? Is pacing around deep in thought really that bad? I'm sleeping every night and 5 hours is all I need! I've lost weight too, but my weight always fluctuates a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I have an eating disorder because I'll go a week without eating much (usually with intention but for some reason right now I just feel like I don't need food) then eat until I hurt and then eat more. Nothing really feels real except my thoughts which aren't real.

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 01:21 PM
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I talked to my doctor yesterday and he said I sounded manic, not hypomanic. So he thinks I might be bipolar 1 instead of 2. But that’s up to the psychiatrist to diagnose me.

I’m feeling not as up today with med changes. I’m still distracted and restless with racing thoughts and some grandiose thoughts.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 01:26 PM
  #573
Am I repeating mhself? I don’t know I just feel like talking.
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 01:28 PM
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I've been there, Sapien. Mania can be pretty intoxicating! The last time I got really manic I was only sleeping three hours a night, speed walking around the city for 4-5 hours at a stretch, & I lost a great deal of weight in a short period of time because I was so focused on what I was eating. It felt great! I had a really good time!

FULL STOP, THOUGH!!! It's important to make sure you don't fall over the edge. It's sometimes impossible for me to tell when I've crossed that line from having a fantastic time to being a menace to myself & others. Be careful. I hope you've got people in your life who can let you know when you're in danger of a hospitalization. You don't wanna go there!!!
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 01:55 PM
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@Sapien When I start thinking or saying that "I'm my true self" it most certainly means I'm manic. Your eating sure does sound disordered in some way. Can you bring this up to your pdoc? Maybe you can see a nutritionist?

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 02:00 PM
  #576
I haven't done a thing today except wash my hair. I'm letting it air dry. I had plans of cleaning, but I spent the morning on the phone with Caleb. Then I washed my hair and now instead of vacuuming, I'm watching Antiques Road Show. It's over actually, Simply Ming is on- whatever that is. Probably a cooking show. Yup. Cooking show. I'm off to vacuum etc. now.

EDIT: Apartment vacuumed, swept, mopped and dusted!

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 02:06 PM
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I talked to my doctor yesterday and he said I sounded manic, not hypomanic. So he thinks I might be bipolar 1 instead of 2. But that’s up to the psychiatrist to diagnose me.

I’m feeling not as up today with med changes. I’m still distracted and restless with racing thoughts and some grandiose thoughts.

I happened to see a post of yours on a different board and yes, what you wrote sounded like mania to me.

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 02:18 PM
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Feeling super down
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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 03:04 PM
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I can relate. When I was living in Germany, I had bizarre cravings for American food (they don't eat peanut butter in Germany!). Your post, however, makes me crave Czech cuisine. One of the best meals I ever had was Czech-style goulash when I visited Prague. It makes my mouth water...& I haven't had lunch yet!
I ate a particularly good goulash last week, but it was made in Brno. I was in Prague a few days ago, though. We found a most wonderful pekarna there (bakery specializing in breads). So far we haven't found as good of a one in Brno, but then again we haven't explored enough to know if there isn't.

I confess I brought a couple jars of peanut butter from the US. I have seen peanut butter in a Czech grocery store, but it looked like natural peanut butter. Oddly, I happen to particularly like Skippy lowered fat PB the best. It's more whipped, doesn't stick to the roof of my mouth, and is sweetened more than most. Basically chemical central, but it does taste good. Today I found and bought maple syrup, but it was quite expensive. In the US, I often used sugar free syrup, but I know real maple is yummiest. I'll just use it sparingly. By the way, I just bought a new waffle maker from Amazon.de.

Strangely, Czech stores have a lot of Tex-Mex type products. I'm happy about that. That cuisine has always been on my regular roster.

I do like Czech cuisine, but am not used to eating it so much.

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Default Feb 23, 2021 at 03:06 PM
  #580
I had my last therapy session. It went well and I’m kinda numb about it right now. But I feel good. The first thing I mentioned was that I felt the email thing was confusing and how she kept putting boundaries in and then taking them out and sending emails first asking how I was feeling. And she apologized and said she should have put strong boundaries in the beginning. Then I told her that I felt kinda let down because I really wanted to be back in person and I felt like if I had known it wasn’t going to be a temporary thing I would have done things differently. She said that she didn’t know what was going on and she really expected to be gone just a month and then things kept happening and things were pushed back and all over the place. I asked her what the 90’s were like since I always wanted to know. We talked about my cat scan a bit but we didn’t really talk about the medical stuff a lot. She said that she will call the new therapist on Thursday morning and she said the new therapist almost seems like a unicorn. Like a perfect fit. I said I was kinda worried about her age. I asked her if she had listened to that song. She said she read the lyrics and asked why I wanted her to listen to it. I said “I don’t know. It just seems like what I’m going through” and she said that she knows I move on and forget people easily but that she wants me to kinda keep transference in mind. Not sure what she meant by that. Maybe transference about the new therapist.

We talked about books for a bit. I asked her if she read The Babysitters Club books. Another question I was always wondering. She said yeah and she read Sweet Valley. And I said I read those and that I read a ton when I was a kid and it was basically all I did. She asked if I still read and I said yeah I read a lot now. I mentioned that I was reading The Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books and I felt kinda goofy reading them but they were super distracting. And like I thought she was totally cool about it and said that it’s ok to read whatever and a book is a book. Then she asked if that was the genre I liked and I said no that I’m kind of all over the place with what I read. I like classics like Charles Dickens and Brave New World and that I read The Diary Of A Wimpy Kid books but then I also like non fiction and books on folklore. She asked me what my favorite book was and I told her.

Then right before we ended she looked kinda emotional and she said a couple things and I said “it’s been interesting....” and she was like “yes it has.” Then she said bye and then we just kinda looked at each other for several seconds before she signed off.

So yeah that’s the end of that. I honestly feel much better then I thought I was going to feel. I thought I’d be an emotional wreck ending things with her. I’d been putting this off for 9 months thinking it would be impossible to handle. I didn’t know I’d feel so good once I actually did it.

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