[Victoria'smom]

You guys know my son I’m going to ask here. He’s in school and he'll have his BS next May. He has to go to grad school for his major. He wants a part time job while starting a business but he needs his MS degree for that part time job. So he was going to go and do an intense year on campus.

He was offered to purchase a trailer after he finished undergrad. They can’t wait the extra year for him to finish grad school.

If he buys the trailer it would cost him 10k more in school online, the cost of the trailer and a half of a year longer. However he keeps his dr. and T and has a place that he’ll be able to pay for with his part time income for years to come.
He has ASD, mood disorder, and ADHD so a part time job while building a business is a good option. But I worry about paying back the extra 10k.

I guess the question is is your MH team and support worth 10k extra for a year? I don’t see him starting with a new team for just a year. ultimately it's up to him but he values my input.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I voted wrong. If I had 10,000 dollars easily accessible then yes, it would be worth it. But if I had to go into debt then no. I should have thought more.

Sorry.

[Victoria'smom]

We won't know how much of it will be debt until April '22 it's just 10k difference in tuition. However he would like to start paying on the trailer as soon as possible if he goes that way.

[Nammu]

You know how they say don’t borrow money from relatives? Don’t buy trailers and houses from relatives either

[Victoria'smom]

Don’t buy trailers and houses from relatives either I've never been told that. Everyone besides me thinks it's a good idea and my issue is passing up the school opportunity. It has nothing to do with the trailer to me. Is it because they'll always view it as "theirs"?

[Soupe du jour]

I'm wishing your son great success at graduate school and his endeavors during and beyond! I can't fully know what is best for your son. He will need to think hard about that. He's obviously an adult now. If any decision is ever a mistake or comes with complications, that will be his to work through. We all need to learn as we go through life. Mistakes are often just as valuable of learning experiences as instant successes, albeit less desirable ones. He'll see. I do assume that as a graduate student he qualifies for student insurance and related services? If so, then he should consider them, at least. I recall as a student that I went to a university psychiatrist once. Back then, however, I didn't have my firm diagnosis. Nor did I know then what I know now.

I voted in the "depends" category because I don't (and can't) know your son's situation. As for me, there were times when $10K would have been worth keeping an old mental health team, but it isn't so much now. In fact, despite adoring my American psychiatrist, I will give him up in the near future. I'm in a much better place now than I was in past years.

[FluffyDinosaur]

FWIW I've borrowed money from my in-laws in the past (now repaid) and it was no issue. For me 10k for mental health would be worth it, but that's easy to say because I can afford it. If you have to borrow that money I would have to say it depends on the benefits you expect to get out of grad school and the year on-campus. Since it's an investment in the future I would say it could still be worth it.

no, they are not worth that to me
I'd rather spend the money elsewhere

[Victoria'smom]

I posed the question like that to him. After two days of debate with myself about him giving up a great opportunity and running numbers w trailer, without trailer, on campus, online, and everything in between. What we can help with and how we can help.

He feels just keeping his MH team is worth it. Then you have his friends and family. If he's able to get a job between now and then. The lack or cost of car on campus. He doesn't like change anyway. He's been with his therapist over 2 years and finally on meds that help. He doesn't want anyone messing with them. So he chose YES. Now if he regrets it later we'll see.

I still would like others opinions as this will probably be an ongoing conversation.

Now the trailer issue! but that's not BP related.

[MickeyCheeky]

i'd say that mental health in general is absolutely worth it, if you can afford it. However, if you start getting into debts because of it things start to become different at least for me. Mental health is important but so is being Safe. i think it depends on how likely you're able to pay back your debts. i Hope you'll make the best possible decision whatever that may be! Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miguel'smom, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I still would like others opinions as this will probably be an ongoing conversation.

I don't mean to rock the boat, but your son is an adult. Interfering too much in his personal affairs can stunt his independence, & potentially make him resent you in the future. He's lucky that you're willing & able to help him out financially, but he might begin to feel there are strings attached to your support if you engage in "helicopter parenting." I only share this because my father was extremely overbearing & I resented him for a long time as a young man. Take my opinion with a grain of salt...

[Victoria'smom]

Yes he is an adult. I don't give my opinion, I'm actually really bad at saying anything other then it's your choice. We won't be helping him financially (anything we can we will do for him but financially we're unable to help much) so it really is his choice. I'm researching to ease myself and give him information when he asks. I'm not trying to make him go one way or another because all paths at this point are valid paths. There's no lose in this situation. He often complains that he wants my opinion and I wont give it to him. The only advice I've given is that he may want to apply to internships for the summer to save up more money no matter what he chooses and he may want his license.

[*Beth*]

I'm kinda lost on this thread. What does the 10K have to do with everything else? Personally, I don't have 10K to spend on anything. Would I spend that amount on my mental health team...I don't know. I see them at no cost. I guess I'd spend it, if I had it.

[Victoria'smom]

@BethRags He can go away for a year on campus (4 hours away) and get his grad degree or He can go online to get the same degree (same degree/same school) for about 10k more in tuition.

On campus is $X.
Online is $X+10k.