[Soupe du jour]

My husband's friend's wife contacted my old American psychiatrist and was given an appointment with him for Monday. That would have been difficult if I hadn't asked him to help them. He's a dear man. The struggle now will be for his wife to convince him to go. He, and his sister, are mental illness deniers / stigmitizing types thanks to their upbringing.

You know the worst of this is that his wife said that the sister convinced him NOT to receive the covid vaccine. Then he gets covid-19 and all of this. Then when he got covid the sister rushed out to get the vaccine herself.

Anyone who hasn't received the vaccine, do get it asap. No sense playing silly games about this. Covid-19 is real. It does a lot of harm. It's still out there. It's not rare.

I'm up absurdly early. I woke up at 1:30am after just 4.5 hours of sleep. But i feel okay, just like being up, don't feel like sleeping anymore. Well, i can have a nice quiet day and if possible i can nap tho i only nap a few times a year. Just can't sleep in the daytime. I can rest all day tho.

My dog's teeth cleaning is over. It didn't go smoothly and was outrageously expensive. I'll have to be disciplined about her dental care from now on so maybe it'll never have to be done again. It sure is cheaper to brush a dog's teeth than to take them for dental cleaning! Dental chew treats and special kibble promoting dental health will help too.

I'd do just about anything not to have to go thru this again, on my part and on hers. I hate to see her suffer! She hopped in from the balcony tho before i could pick her up and lift her so that's a good sign, that she's strong, co-ordinated and alert enough to make a good leap like that.

Also, the after-care is going to be a challenge. I just hope there are no complications. My dog cries quietly a bit sometimes even tho she is on pain meds. They give her gabapentin, just like us bipolars! Sometimes i think doctors don't really know what meds do, what their purposes are, that they just guess. I looked in her mouth with my phone flashlight and everything LOOKS fine... Well, i'll make my dog as comfortable as possible and care for her diligently and that's about all i can do.

It's the Two Week Anniversary of my diet! WOOHOO!!! It's going well, i'm fine with regular milk now! Just took some persistence. My solution of brushing, flossing and rinsing when i feel binge-y gives me hope that i can overcome this hideous overeating/binge-eating lifestyle.

Wow, fourteen days in a row with only two serious binges... Just: wow. And one of the binges was on these exquisite Veg Spring Rolls, so at least that was nutritious and not just junk. The second was my binge-food-of-choice tho, hate to see that.

Thanks everyone for your support! Your comments mean a lot to me when i am working so hard to change my behavior. I need all the help i can get!

Ta!

Jane.

[*Beth*]

I was having a conversation with my husband yesterday evening when he suddenly closed his eyes and put his head down. I asked what was wrong and, after a lot of "Um, uh. well...uh..." he admitted that he's been having "episodes" with his eyesight. The episodes consist of lines and "kind-of lights" that obstruct his vision, but the scariest part is that he loses the ability to see in the center of his vision. The very center just looks "blank." The episode lasted for about 20 minutes.

I am genuinely scared. He's 74 and has the symptoms of macular degeneration. I told him that he MUST go to the optometrist. He said yeah...he will...soon...he guesses...

I reminded him that his aunt went blind from macular degeneration. He said he hasn't told me about the episodes because he "knew I'd tell him to go to the doctor." My husband is absolutely terrified of anything medical and has built up a real monster in his mind about being examined.

Inside my own mind I was seriously shaken up. I didn't tell him, but there is no cure for macular degen. People eventually go blind from it. My husband is a very "young" 74, fit and seemingly healthy - but eye disease runs in his family.

I'm trying not to panic, but I'm feeling pretty darn shaky inside. The hard part is getting him to see the optometrist. He was seen about 2 years ago and was told then that there was "something" they didn't like. He's chosen to ignore it, and hasn't returned.

[Nammu]

They can fix macular degeneration if it is caught early. My dad was like you husband kept ignoring the symptoms until it was too late. My aunt, dads sister went in right away and had surgery. They stabilized her eyes. She can even drive. So get him to the doctor!

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I was having a conversation with my husband yesterday evening when he suddenly closed his eyes and put his head down. I asked what was wrong and, after a lot of "Um, uh. well...uh..." he admitted that he's been having "episodes" with his eyesight. The episodes consist of lines and "kind-of lights" that obstruct his vision, but the scariest part is that he loses the ability to see in the center of his vision. The very center just looks "blank." The episode lasted for about 20 minutes.

I am genuinely scared. He's 74 and has the symptoms of macular degeneration. I told him that he MUST go to the optometrist. He said yeah...he will...soon...he guesses...

I reminded him that his aunt went blind from macular degeneration. He said he hasn't told me about the episodes because he "knew I'd tell him to go to the doctor." My husband is absolutely terrified of anything medical and has built up a real monster in his mind about being examined.

Inside my own mind I was seriously shaken up. I didn't tell him, but there is no cure for macular degen. People eventually go blind from it. My husband is a very "young" 74, fit and seemingly healthy - but eye disease runs in his family.

I'm trying not to panic, but I'm feeling pretty darn shaky inside. The hard part is getting him to see the optometrist. He was seen about 2 years ago and was told then that there was "something" they didn't like. He's chosen to ignore it, and hasn't returned.

There are two types of macular, wet and dry....as above wet requires surgery but even the dry type can be slowed with AREDS vitamins....

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[*Beth*]

Thank you both. My husband's health care is through the Veterans Admin, I SO wish they'd allow me to make an appointment for him, but they won't.

[Sunflower123]

Thank you for the support. I made it through half of it and had a beautiful birthday with my daughter. True, I have a lidocaine patch on my back with a heating pad now but that’s a small price to pay. Graduation is tomorrow then home Saturday to get the house ready for Mother’s Day. I appreciate God helping me work it out.

Hugs to all!

@Jennifer 1967:

So glad you enjoyed the birthday, despite having to convalesce from it.

Ta!

Jane.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband's best friend is likely on the verge of having 9-11 called on him. His psychosis is worsening every day. It's a horrible crisis for him and his family. It's beyond horrible. Beyond horrible. We don't think he'll make it to the psychiatrist appointment on Monday, and even if he did, it's highly likely he'll refuse to go. We're becoming scared about the safety of his wife and adult children, not to mention him.

@Soupe du jour:

I'm so sorry to read about your family friend. Seems the situation is more dire than i previously thought and that indeed it has gotten worse. I hope he gets some good medical attention soon. Sounds like it's becoming a real crisis. Sorry if i offended you by trying to calm you down about the situation in a previous post. Sounds like your concern was and is warranted.

Hoping for the best for everyone concerned,

Jane.

[buddha1too]

@Soupe du jour...I am so sorry to read that the situation has worsened. You and your husband must feel so helpless right now. Take heart in the knowledge that you're doing everything you can to provide support. You are all in my thoughts.

well: certainly had my fair share of issues this week

struggled to stay full (my food preparing leaves a lot to be desired)

2 falls (1 big one, and one not so massive)

finally been told by my care team that I am too damaged to work with, and will need to find someone else (how charming)

struggled through another shower

not been a great week at all

plus since yesterday I have had a sore throat

@raging vortex and all:

So sorry you are having a rough go of it. Your care team's decision not to work with you anymore has to be painful. But maybe you will wind up with more helpful people so it could turn out to be for the best.

Ta!

Jane.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

well: certainly had my fair share of issues this week

struggled to stay full (my food preparing leaves a lot to be desired)

2 falls (1 big one, and one not so massive)

finally been told by my care team that I am too damaged to work with, and will need to find someone else (how charming)

struggled through another shower

not been a great week at all

plus since yesterday I have had a sore throat

I'm so sorry. That all sounds very challenging. Falls are so scary.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Thank you for the support. I made it through half of it and had a beautiful birthday with my daughter. True, I have a lidocaine patch on my back with a heating pad now but that’s a small price to pay. Graduation is tomorrow then home Saturday to get the house ready for Mother’s Day. I appreciate God helping me work it out.

Hugs to all!

That sounds outstanding! May you enjoy every moment of all of it!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband's best friend is likely on the verge of having 9-11 called on him. His psychosis is worsening every day. It's a horrible crisis for him and his family. It's beyond horrible. Beyond horrible. We don't think he'll make it to the psychiatrist appointment on Monday, and even if he did, it's highly likely he'll refuse to go. We're becoming scared about the safety of his wife and adult children, not to mention him.

Hideous. My God. It really sounds like he needs to be hospitalized, in some capacity.

[buddha1too]

I've been taking my AP the past few days to see how it makes me feel. While the agitation seems down a bit, I feel muted (which I hate). Meds are so confusing. What does one attribute to the meds, & what is just the natural order of things? I've always questioned this, which is one of the reasons I'm so resistant towards taking too many meds. While it is best to use tools learned in therapy, there are simply times when they don't do the trick.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I've been taking my AP the past few days to see how it makes me feel. While the agitation seems down a bit, I feel muted (which I hate). Meds are so confusing. What does one attribute to the meds, & what is just the natural order of things? I've always questioned this, which is one of the reasons I'm so resistant towards taking too many meds. While it is best to use tools learned in therapy, there are simply times when they don't do the trick.

Your post asks a profound question. I think it's the ultimate question anyone on meds would like an answer to.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I've been taking my AP the past few days to see how it makes me feel. While the agitation seems down a bit, I feel muted (which I hate). Meds are so confusing. What does one attribute to the meds, & what is just the natural order of things? I've always questioned this, which is one of the reasons I'm so resistant towards taking too many meds. While it is best to use tools learned in therapy, there are simply times when they don't do the trick.

I'm glad your agitation is down. I'm sorry a muted feeling is what was left behind. I guess it could be partly the medication's fault, but then again it could just be your mood. I'm feeling quite muted, too, and had stopped my extra bit of AP a few days ago. I think I just feel muted and that's it. In my case, not a medication's fault. But I know it will pass. It always does. Please hang in there and perhaps your mood will lift. If not, I hope you really press that pdoc of yours to do something. It's time for him to actually earn his money a bit more.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I've been taking my AP the past few days to see how it makes me feel. While the agitation seems down a bit, I feel muted (which I hate). Meds are so confusing. What does one attribute to the meds, & what is just the natural order of things? I've always questioned this, which is one of the reasons I'm so resistant towards taking too many meds. While it is best to use tools learned in therapy, there are simply times when they don't do the trick.

Yeah there are times when therapy needs a helping hand. I too hate the flat effect and that’s why I stopped the lamictol. Never had that problem with my APs just the mood stabilizer s. It’s a fine catch 22 when your bipolar. Meds, how much but how little can you get by with? Can you think of this as a temporary measure to just use until the hump levels out?

[*Beth*]

My son and DIL are in Puerto Vallarta and my daughter has not communicated with me since I was last IP, so my husband and I are planning a day trip on Mother's Day (Sunday). The region we'll be driving through is absolutely gorgeous - unless massive acreage has been burned by the wildfires. I'm so looking forward to the trip.

[Nammu]

I went grocery shopping for real today. We’ve been getting meals from the senior center for almost two years and made that our main meal. But they stopped last week so I’ve had to plan meals and buy real food to cook. I thought I did really well even with the increase in prices. I got deli meat, roast and chicken among other things, 6 paper bags of food for only $132. I thought that was pretty good. The bread is so good, mmm, it’s New York salted rye. Two cases of water. But I forgot the sour cream and something sweet.

[wildflowerchild25]

Sooo I did end up going IP. I was hearing things, feeling terrified that someone was trying to hurt/kill me, and that I had to harm my myself to ward them off. Sounds pretty bad, and it was. Probably the most scared I’ve ever been. My pdoc called RS. He came straight home and gently convinced me to go. I mean what it came down to was either I go voluntarily or I guarantee my pdoc would have committed me. I was scared of having police show up.

When I got to the hospital I was so upset and scared that I didn’t leave my room for three days. Everything was too loud. My dr there put me on 24 hour watch right out of the gate. I didn’t speak. I felt so much terror and rage at the noise level, I had to keep my hands over my ears. On the third day I cried every time someone even looked at me.

But it started to get better. He put me on Zyprexa and doxepin for sleep. I was finally able to have an actual conversation the fifth day. Took me most of the week to feel completely comfortable having people behind me. But Wednesday I was so happy that it was actually working and I felt NORMAL. No more fear.

I got discharged today. I’m just really sad I can’t go back to work this school year I have to do an outpatient program and there’s only five weeks left until the end of school. Even if I’m only in the program for 2-3 weeks I wouldn’t really go back for that short amount of time. I’m going to miss my students.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Sooo I did end up going IP. I was hearing things, feeling terrified that someone was trying to hurt/kill me, and that I had to harm my myself to ward them off. Sounds pretty bad, and it was. Probably the most scared I’ve ever been. My pdoc called RS. He came straight home and gently convinced me to go. I mean what it came down to was either I go voluntarily or I guarantee my pdoc would have committed me. I was scared of having police show up.

When I got to the hospital I was so upset and scared that I didn’t leave my room for three days. Everything was too loud. My dr there put me on 24 hour watch right out of the gate. I didn’t speak. I felt so much terror and rage at the noise level, I had to keep my hands over my ears. On the third day I cried every time someone even looked at me.

But it started to get better. He put me on Zyprexa and doxepin for sleep. I was finally able to have an actual conversation the fifth day. Took me most of the week to feel completely comfortable having people behind me. But Wednesday I was so happy that it was actually working and I felt NORMAL. No more fear.

I got discharged today. I’m just really sad I can’t go back to work this school year I have to do an outpatient program and there’s only five weeks left until the end of school. Even if I’m only in the program for 2-3 weeks I wouldn’t really go back for that short amount of time. I’m going to miss my students.

I'm so sorry you have to miss the last few weeks of school. BUT how courageous of you to have gone IP when you needed to! You seem substantially calmer

[Moose72]

I just got into bed. I was reminded of something that either happened this morning or Thursday morning. I'm thinking it was Thursday... I woke up- pretty sure it was morning but anyway, I woke up, put my feet on the floor stood up and "walked" toward the doorway - only it wasn't really walking, it was more like stumbling sideways until I hit the door frame/wall. So I righted myself and the same thing happened during the 3 feet between my bedroom door and the bathroom door. I used the toilet and on the way back I was fine. What could this be?