I written before about how i struggle with my weight. It might seem like a small thing but i've discovered that i LOVE milk again! I'm fine with drinking skim. I'm also loving vegetables lately. So those two changes give me a smidgen of hope that i might be able to lose weight. I've finished off all my potato chips and will try not to replace them. I have one serving of Nutella left, then, same. I'm so powerfully attracted to the milk i think my body might have been suffering malnourishment from missing nutrients in it. It's like my body unconsciously knows what to eat! Anyway, my old doctor said the dieting gateway is my front door. If it gets across there i will eat it. I'll try to take heed.

My drop-in was rather dull with people talking about babies and kids which actually started to upset me as a senior woman without kids. So i switched rooms. It was still worthwhile to attend because one woman made a fuss about another woman's advanced education and i was able to see that interaction for the unpleasant thing it is. I'm usually the one making a fuss so note to self not to do that anymore.

@BethRags: The view from your apartment of the trees in bloom sound wonderful!

Hugs to all!

[gina_re]

Well I've spent the last two days at home and in bed. I tried to get into an inpatient program that isn't in the hospital, but they do not have any beds available until next week. So I'm just going to go back to work. I think I've calmed down enough to do so. My boss is letting me work a half day tomorrow as a compromise since taking three full days off will require a doctor's note to return. At any rate, I still have a paper to write for school, so I have to pull myself out of this funk. But overall, I think I'm ok. I'm on so much medication that it's doing it's job in helping me be functional.
I'm going to go ahead and get that dbt workbook too. I obviously need some help when it comes to some of my thought patterns when I get like this. I wish I could go to therapy, but it's just too expensive right now. Anyway, thanks for listening..

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I need a real ID license before we fly next year. Maybe it can be when I renew- not sure. That's cutting it kinda close.

I have to show my birth certificate to get mine. Everyone has to show some official form, a birth certificate or something else (can't recall what). I had to pay $30 for the copy of my birth certificate, then another $35 for my license renewal. AND it took 5 weeks for the birth certificate to arrive after I ordered it. So don't wait too long. So much bureaucracy.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Well I've spent the last two days at home and in bed. I tried to get into an inpatient program that isn't in the hospital, but they do not have any beds available until next week. So I'm just going to go back to work. I think I've calmed down enough to do so. My boss is letting me work a half day tomorrow as a compromise since taking three full days off will require a doctor's note to return. At any rate, I still have a paper to write for school, so I have to pull myself out of this funk. But overall, I think I'm ok. I'm on so much medication that it's doing it's job in helping me be functional.
I'm going to go ahead and get that dbt workbook too. I obviously need some help when it comes to some of my thought patterns when I get like this. I wish I could go to therapy, but it's just too expensive right now. Anyway, thanks for listening..

Any time

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have to show my birth certificate to get mine. Everyone has to show some official form, a birth certificate or something else (can't recall what). I had to pay $30 for the copy of my birth certificate, then another $35 for my license renewal. AND it took 5 weeks for the birth certificate to arrive after I ordered it. So don't wait too long. So much bureaucracy.

That shows how much states vary. I don't remember if i had to have my birth certificate (which I should since I did this in January but oh well) but I did for my passport a couple of years ago. It cost me $5 and arrived in less than a week. I think my license cost $25 whether I did a renewal of the old kind or the new one (which I got because why not). The driver's license came in about a week and they gave me a paper one to use in the interim.

I'm sorry CA is so expensive. I'd have trouble living there while here it's not as bad even on a lower income. Of course there are definitely areas that it's a lot harder here like getting to stores, doctors, therapists, etc.

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Nammu

That’s one thing I miss from Texas. My apartment was on second floor and right out the big picture window was a tree. I could watch it bloom. Sir and I enjoyed a virtual merry-go- round of birds, lizards and squirrels pretty close up. Then across the parking lot was a Spanish cemetery. When I first moved in I could see the people come and decorate and eat, but then the hedges grew too tall.

Sounds pretty cool. I also remember you writing about the black bird that kept teasing your cat at the window. Do you ever miss Texas itself?

[Sunflower123]

I’ve been unusually busy the past few weeks and will be for several more. I’ve had no free time. I got mentally and physically fatigued so I took today completely off. It was great at first but gradually descended into sadness and depression. I’m really tempted to stay so insanely busy that I have no time to think, feel, ruminate or brood. Probably not the healthiest thing but would it be so bad to avoid the sadness and depression?

Tomorrow is back to the drawing board.

Warmest regards and hugs to all.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

Sounds pretty cool. I also remember you writing about the black bird that kept teasing your cat at the window. Do you ever miss Texas itself?

Sometimes mostly in the dead of winter. One thing about Texas was I never had to put on boots a parka, gloves, scarf s and hats just to go outside. I did have lots of hats tho, they were all hanging on the wall next to the door. I have dark hair and the sun is bright down there. And Austin was very liberal, I liked that and the many many places to go. I lived in south Austin and every Thursday night there was a street fair. Tons and tons of food trucks and vendors. I liked to just sit and people watch. It was just a bus ride away. Luckily cause parking was hard. So yeah there’s stuff and people I miss but here I have family.

No I didn’t have a cowboy hat.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband and I are in a rut. A not so small one. I know he's depressed, but I don't feel I'm in the right frame of mind to be giving him the support he needs. I feel bad about that. Of course I could use support, as well, but I feel I could likely proceed on auto drive. His depression is the deeply sad type, where crying can happen at the drop of a hat. Unless I'm in a mixed episode, mine is more like a feelingless state. Tough, and not as easy to breakdown. Right now he's outside sitting in the sun. He likely wishes I would join him, but I yearn for time to myself. I will go outside in a few minutes, because I know it is the right thing to do.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

That shows how much states vary. I don't remember if i had to have my birth certificate (which I should since I did this in January but oh well) but I did for my passport a couple of years ago. It cost me $5 and arrived in less than a week. I think my license cost $25 whether I did a renewal of the old kind or the new one (which I got because why not). The driver's license came in about a week and they gave me a paper one to use in the interim.

I'm sorry CA is so expensive. I'd have trouble living there while here it's not as bad even on a lower income. Of course there are definitely areas that it's a lot harder here like getting to stores, doctors, therapists, etc.

Wow! Big differences. I love California - would love it more if I had even a normal income. Every little thing is so, so costly. It's a relentless stress.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband and I are in a rut. A not so small one. I know he's depressed, but I don't feel I'm in the right frame of mind to be giving him the support he needs. I feel bad about that. Of course I could use support, as well, but I feel I could likely proceed on auto drive. His depression is the deeply sad type, where crying can happen at the drop of a hat. Unless I'm in a mixed episode, mine is more like a feelingless state. Tough, and not as easy to breakdown. Right now he's outside sitting in the sun. He likely wishes I would join him, but I yearn for time to myself. I will go outside in a few minutes, because I know it is the right thing to do.

I'm sorry, Soupe. The situation sounds like a rough road. Would your husband be willing to take an AD? Seems to me that they're most helpful for his type of depression.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband and I are in a rut. A not so small one. I know he's depressed, but I don't feel I'm in the right frame of mind to be giving him the support he needs. I feel bad about that. Of course I could use support, as well, but I feel I could likely proceed on auto drive. His depression is the deeply sad type, where crying can happen at the drop of a hat. Unless I'm in a mixed episode, mine is more like a feelingless state. Tough, and not as easy to breakdown. Right now he's outside sitting in the sun. He likely wishes I would join him, but I yearn for time to myself. I will go outside in a few minutes, because I know it is the right thing to do.

So sorry to hear that. It’s hard to be there for each other when you are both depressed no matter what type of depression it is. Nice of you to join him.

[Victoria'smom]

Soupe du jour hope you and your husband feel better soon.

[*Beth*]

It sure seems noisy today. People gunning cars, people loudly moving a couch into their apartment. Even the birds are unusually loud today! My car is ready at the shop, supposedly all set to pass smog. My husband (who, because he hadn't eaten lunch yet, was in a rotten mood) is going to take it to be smogged. It took me a lot of years - decades - to learn to ask my husband for assistance, then finally, to tell him "do this, do that" - simply because I ran out of energy and fire. So he can be as cranky as he wants to be, he's still taking my car to be smogged.

Ugh. I wish I was sitting on the beach, peacefully alone.

[Victoria'smom]

I think I almost got kept at my Drs office but they're going to see me in two weeks. I failed the stupid depression test again because it's hasn't been 2 weeks. I was in the room for almost 2 hrs alone with out my meds. They really need to change the wording of the questions.

Other than that I've been aggravated all day. I'm isolating with music. I can't take my chill med and I want to scream.

Seems i'm not the only one having a bad day. I quit both my ZOOM events because they were unbearable. In the first one no one made sense. We're given a quote and asked to discuss it. There's nothing more pathetic than a bunch of mentally ill people trying to be philosophical! In the second they started talking about rabbits eating their own poo and i fled.

It's been crazy windy so i didn't dare go outside until evening when it settled down. I walked to the corner of the block. I didn't want to. With each step i thought of how much pain i will be in tomorrow because of it, feet, shins, lower-back. But none of that matters because we've got to "just do it."

I ate well today tho. I threw out that last bit of Nutella. I'm enchanted with my milk and adoring my veggies. I bought some regular milk today to try as i've been drinking the lactose-free and it's about double the price. I can eat cheese and cream so i should be able to drink regular milk. It's been ages since i drank milk but the lactose bothered me then but it's been years and my stomach is a lot stronger now. We'll see. Experiment. Be a good reality-tester. Mentally ill people tend to be bad reality-testers.

Hugs to all!

Been reading, but it's been awhile since posting on this thread. Been having kind of a tough time. Somewhat depressed, but I'm pretty sure it's just situational. Still, no fun. Meeting at work today. Being the scapegoat, those are never fun. Ok, anything to add? I started to speak (after getting my nerve up), and was talked over, and on to next thing. Where I got singled out as doing something I've NEVER done (and of course the source of every mistake). I did rather emphatically respond to that one. I OWN my mistakes. But I'm not going to stand for being accused of things I don't do(!) Sigh. I vented to a coworker after work, and was very thankful for the opportunity. At least he doesn't give me ****.

But I still do absolutely love my studio. 450 sq ft of near perfection.

[buddha1too]

Feeling kind of raggedy. I have a pdoc appointment on the 29th.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Ooooooooo I’m pissed. I’ve been trying to buy a bathrobe. There are no longer any clothing stores in my town. Except Wally World. So the first one I ordered was the wrong size. Mum bought it from me. This one I’ve been waiting on for weeks. Not only do they not send a purple royal bathrobe they send some towel like thing that I would never in a million years wear, to boot it’s turquoise! I don’t do blues of any shade. Oooo now I have to ship it back at my expense!

Oooooo I would be mad too.. That is one thing I hate about online shopping if its not what you want etc you have to pay to return it... But I loathe HellMart ( walmart) so I do purchase many things online.

Yes you need a Royal Purple Bathrobe

[~Christina]

Argh it seems we all are dealing with mood instability and health problems on top

Thanks to everyone that has been so kind to me, I try really hard to log on daily but I honestly dont know where my days go

No news about that blood work the Cardiologist ordered so Im guessing it was ok.. I think I have an appt with my Pdoc coming up, I need to call Monday and double check..

My Puppy Gus is spoiled rotten just rotten lol. The other 2 are just as spoiled.

Our weather has been beautiful, Spend most of my time outside with the dogs or hanging on the porch.. Of course the Pollen is gawd awful ! I thank that tiny white pill Claritin for allowing me to survive the season! We have low 80's coming.

I think I am rambling??? Maybe so lol

Hugs and love to everyone

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

Feeling kind of raggedy. I have a pdoc appointment on the 29th.

Less than a week. Of course when your doing badly a weeek sounds very long and unbearable. But you can do it!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Argh it seems we all are dealing with mood instability and health problems on top

Thanks to everyone that has been so kind to me, I try really hard to log on daily but I honestly dont know where my days go

No news about that blood work the Cardiologist ordered so Im guessing it was ok.. I think I have an appt with my Pdoc coming up, I need to call Monday and double check..

My Puppy Gus is spoiled rotten just rotten lol. The other 2 are just as spoiled.

Our weather has been beautiful, Spend most of my time outside with the dogs or hanging on the porch.. Of course the Pollen is gawd awful ! I thank that tiny white pill Claritin for allowing me to survive the season! We have low 80's coming.

I think I am rambling??? Maybe so lol

Hugs and love to everyone

Glad to hear the weather is gorgeous and you’re spending time outside. That’s one of the best things we can do. I’m glad there’s a pill that makes it possible.

[Nammu]

It’s 5:30 Saturday morning. Couldn’t sleep and was doing so much tossing and turning I was burning up. So decided to see what’s on tv. Beverly hillbillies, Batman bugs bunny ToM and jerry. They brought back the classics.

Caught part of girl interrupted and it bought back memories of state hospitals, kept popping up instead of letting me sleep.

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby and I took another road trip today. We headed south again to the city of Mikulov in southern Moravia, only minutes from the Austrian border and named after Saint Nicholas (Mikulas). There were oodles of flowers, making it quite lovely. It is located in the heart of Czech Republic's wine country, with many vineyards in the area. Attached are a few photos I took today. The cemetery is actually a Jewish cemetery, one of the largest in Czech Republic. Horribly, the Jewish population from there disappeared during WWII. There are graves there likely dating back to the 1400s. It appeared that there were some new ones, from after the war.

Hubby has wanted to get away as a form of escape. He deserves it, and I'm enjoying it, too. However, we do have some important things to do next week. Then next weekend my sister-in-law is visits from near Prague. I'll look forward to that, as well. On May 3rd, there is finally some relaxing of covid restrictions in Czech Republic. I hope it's not premature, but I look forward to it, and hope it helps both Hubby's and my mood.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

It sure seems noisy today. People gunning cars, people loudly moving a couch into their apartment. Even the birds are unusually loud today! My car is ready at the shop, supposedly all set to pass smog. My husband (who, because he hadn't eaten lunch yet, was in a rotten mood) is going to take it to be smogged. It took me a lot of years - decades - to learn to ask my husband for assistance, then finally, to tell him "do this, do that" - simply because I ran out of energy and fire. So he can be as cranky as he wants to be, he's still taking my car to be smogged.

Ugh. I wish I was sitting on the beach, peacefully alone.

Me knowing birds as well as I do, I can confidently say that they are loud because they are also pissed off about the noise.

I hope you get some peace and quiet soon. More in the post just below.