[mssweatypalms]

I don't know what the best way to describe this thing is. My teaching job on weekdays is 9 hours a day. It's like 4.5 hours in the morning, and 4.5 hours in the evening. I recently take a nap in between. I'm thankful I can function well within those critical hours. After that, everything just feels flat, dull, and like I'm a very different person. No motivation to do anything else.


I did my second job for 13 hours straight today because of my deadline. I was okay while working, but now I feel helpless and and have all of these negative thoughts.

[NaoSky]

I feel your pain!! I’m currently in the same position. Other than my job I have zero motivation. Yesterday was my first day off for the summer and I just laid on the couch binge watching tv shows. I don’t feel like getting up to do anything really and I know it’s going to make my depression worse but I can’t help it. I’m so sorry you are going through this rough patch too. The only thing I remotely look forward to is that this is a mood disorder so I’m bound to feel better one day. I just wish I could be put on the right meds.

Do you think anything might be triggering it? I think part of mine is the aftermath of the decisions I make during hypomania. So far twice I have felt I was in a stable and normal state but now I’m not sure what normal is anymore. Am I just a lazy person or is this my disorder? I think back to before the disorder hit and I know there were times I didn’t want to do much but I don’t remember it being an everyday thing… so it’s got to be the disorder, but is this my new normal?

I’m sure you question it too. Thanks for being open and sharing and I’m glad to see another teacher around here. I know we can make it despite this stupid illness we have. I made it through a serious depression. Now I’m depressed again but it’s not as bad.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by mssweatypalms

I don't know what the best way to describe this thing is. My teaching job on weekdays is 9 hours a day. It's like 4.5 hours in the morning, and 4.5 hours in the evening. I recently take a nap in between. I'm thankful I can function well within those critical hours. After that, everything just feels flat, dull, and like I'm a very different person. No motivation to do anything else.

I did my second job for 13 hours straight today because of my deadline. I was okay while working, but now I feel helpless and and have all of these negative thoughts.

Hello, @mssweatypalms. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate to shutting down. It’s been something I’ve done for decades when things become too much. I’m glad you’re able to function at work but sorry you feel like a different person afterwards. Could you maybe light some candles and take a nice bath? Or whichever kind of self care you can manage? I wish I had some wise advice. I hope you start feeling better soon. Wishing you a better day.

Lizzie

[Soupe du jour]

Your deadline sounded rough. I'm glad that's over for you. At least for now. Is there some way you can get a little reprieve? Treat yourself?

[MuddyBoots]

That sounds very draining. I would feel the same after a work day like that. Unfortunately I don't have any advice, just letting you know we're here for you

[mssweatypalms]

@NaoSky It sucks, but at least we're able to work. I can be attentive, energetic and even tell jokes during my lessons. You probably experience the same as a teacher. Thank you for reminding me that things will change and there would be better days. The trigger could be bad memories I suddenly have. I should avoid the relationships forum for now. I hope you'll be able to get out of this state, too.

@Lizzie1813 Thanks for the advice. I'd have to find time and energy to do my dance workout again. Today, I went out to buy office supplies and I thought it would be a good break from just staying at home. Now, it's only around 9 PM here and I'm already drained.

@Soupe du jour After buying office supplies today, I bought pizza and pasta which made me feel a bit better. I'm not looking forward to next week, though. A lot of work's still waiting for me.

@Sapien I really appreciate the support I get from you guys here. Thanks.