[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I don't know where else to write this and just want to get this off of my chest. I woke up, something triggered me, and then my mind keeps racing and racing. I am full of anxiety and intrusive thoughts that go along with it. I can't seem to turn it off, and my stomach is hurting. Then I just stare off into space not having any clue what to do. The pain is just too much, and I can't handle it anymore. When I'm not in this terrible state, my mood is elevated. But it is getting harder and harder to focus. I don't know if this is rapid cycling or mixed or just hypomanic with anxiety. I feel like I am having a breakdown and ended up taking a klonopin.

I hope you start to feel better soon, xRavenx.

I'm not sure if this would help, but when I'm in a mental state like you describe, I find it helpful to do a short little (and easy) project that requires some amount of attention. For me, that's most often cooking or baking something. Other times arranging flowers or tending to house plants or outdoor garden(s). I imagine others may pick a quick to finish craft. Could even be tidying up a house/flat or arranging books, or the like.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I hope you start to feel better soon, xRavenx.

I'm not sure if this would help, but when I'm in a mental state like you describe, I find it helpful to do a short little (and easy) project that requires some amount of attention. For me, that's most often cooking or baking something. Other times arranging flowers or tending to house plants or outdoor garden(s). I imagine others may pick a quick to finish craft. Could even be tidying up a house/flat or arranging books, or the like.

Thank you. I need to think of a project to do. It is hard to do when in this state. I decided to write more in a different thread. Sorry in advance if it sounds repetitive.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m back to being in my right mind today. I was getting really worried there. I’m lucid, functioning well and am happy and content. I was totally incapable of taking care of mother and brother for a few days and it all worked out. I must do a better job of protecting my mental and physical health in future. Still, my sister’s recommendation of putting my brother in a home just doesn’t sit well with me.

My daughter and I went to Red Lobster last night. Love that coconut shrimp and those crispy brussel sprouts! We went to the swimming pool late this morning. It’s 77 and breezy here so a little cool in the pool. I still enjoyed it immensely. Tomorrow we’re going to see F9 and then on to a venue to listen to two bands and to see fireworks. That should be enjoyable. Her visit couldn’t have come at a better time.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend and a wonderful 4th.

Putting your brother in a home may be the best thing for him if he is resisting responsibility for his illnesses. They can better monitor him food intake. But yeah that’s a hard decision to make. It may seem cruel but it might be in his best interest. I’m glad you got a bit of a break and very glad your daughter is there for you to enjoy the holiday.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I don't know where else to write this and just want to get this off of my chest. I woke up, something triggered me, and then my mind keeps racing and racing. I am full of anxiety and intrusive thoughts that go along with it. I can't seem to turn it off, and my stomach is hurting. Then I just stare off into space not having any clue what to do. The pain is just too much, and I can't handle it anymore. When I'm not in this terrible state, my mood is elevated. But it is getting harder and harder to focus. I don't know if this is rapid cycling or mixed or just hypomanic with anxiety. I feel like I am having a breakdown and ended up taking a klonopin.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m back to being in my right mind today. I was getting really worried there. I’m lucid, functioning well and am happy and content. I was totally incapable of taking care of mother and brother for a few days and it all worked out. I must do a better job of protecting my mental and physical health in future. Still, my sister’s recommendation of putting my brother in a home just doesn’t sit well with me.

My daughter and I went to Red Lobster last night. Love that coconut shrimp and those crispy brussel sprouts! We went to the swimming pool late this morning. It’s 77 and breezy here so a little cool in the pool. I still enjoyed it immensely. Tomorrow we’re going to see F9 and then on to a venue to listen to two bands and to see fireworks. That should be enjoyable. Her visit couldn’t have come at a better time.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend and a wonderful 4th.

Have a blast, Jennifer!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I don't know where else to write this and just want to get this off of my chest. I woke up, something triggered me, and then my mind keeps racing and racing. I am full of anxiety and intrusive thoughts that go along with it. I can't seem to turn it off, and my stomach is hurting. Then I just stare off into space not having any clue what to do. The pain is just too much, and I can't handle it anymore. When I'm not in this terrible state, my mood is elevated. But it is getting harder and harder to focus. I don't know if this is rapid cycling or mixed or just hypomanic with anxiety. I feel like I am having a breakdown and ended up taking a klonopin.

The thread you started is a good one. I replied to you there

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by BethRags

The thread you started is a good one. I replied to you there

Thank you!

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m not exactly sure what happened to me today. I had major trouble waking up which hasn’t been happening for a couple of weeks. After I woke up we went to the state park a couple of blocks down and walked the dunes. We watched hang gliders and parasailing. When we got back to the house I just..I couldn’t shake off the exhaustion. It was like I’d already taken my night seroquel and I was fighting to stay awake. I was even slurring my words. I checked my med box to make sure I took the morning portion instead of the night one and I did. I’m wondering if I accidentally put the wrong seroquel pill in there when I was filling it before we left last week. I fell asleep for four hours and missed going down to the beach with my son for the last time. I feel bad about that but I could barely stay awake after we ate lunch at noon!

I’m relieved to be leaving tomorrow though. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be but it was still pretty overwhelming. I’ll be happy to get back into my own space.

[Lizzie1813]

Tired this morning after a night of bad dreams. I don’t really feel up to going to church this morning, but my cousin likes for me to go with her so I will go. Missing my daughter (22) and my estranged son (19). I cried last night while I was praying for them. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to a cookout in my cousin’s neighborhood. Maybe it won’t be too anxiety-producing. My cousin’s friends are hosting it. Socializing is super hard for me. I never know what to talk about, and I always say the wrong thing. I’ll get through it somehow. I hope everyone has a good day.

[mssweatypalms]

I went to the clinic with my mom today since she wasn't feeling well. I went back home and ate dinner. I want to say something more but my brain is having a hard time processing my thoughts.

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby and I have worked our tails off all day preparing for our guests tomorrow and the next day. In reality, we've gone overboard, but I suppose if you can do little spring-cleaning stuff, why criticize it?

I might be wrong, but I am a tinge nervous that my sister-in-law and her son will want to "test" me to see how my Czech has come along. The sad reality is that it hasn't that much. There will come a time when I truly must put the nose to the grindstone. Ideally, I should register for formal Czech language classes. However, I'd like a couple things to happen first. One, get my second vaccination. Two, feel a bit more comfortable driving here. I don't think that's unreasonable.

[Mountaindewed]

Last night I took an extra Geodon 80, a muscle relaxer, a Xanax, and 2 zzquil melatonin. After that I asked my mom to hide my meds since I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t take anything else. After all that I still woke up at 2:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. Although last night I was slightly down in the dumps like I usually am on Saturday nights. So I’m not sure all that stuff I took was just because I wanted to sleep a long time. I had to wake my mom up at 2:30AM for my meds because I was super anxious and I also wanted to take my Geodon and go back to sleep. I took a Valium too. But they didn’t help me get back to sleep. They helped with my anxiety though. I couldn’t get onto MSF so I turned my music on and then I got up at 6 to take a shower.

I actually left my house today. Around 7 I went for a coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts and then half an hour ago I went to a couple gas stations and a Walgreens looking for the new fruity Kit Kat’s. I couldn’t find them but I did find yogurt covered skittles which I didn’t know they made anymore.

I feel ok today but it’s early. Usually after my second Valium is when I start to struggle.

My house smells so bad. It smells like feet. I use fabric spray and air freshener in my room everyday. So I know it’s not my room. It honestly smells like it’s coming from my moms room. But I don’t want to say anything. I smelled it at the old house in her closet too.

[*Beth*]

The 4th of July is my least favorite holiday because of the noise (illegal fireworks) that terrorize my elderly cat and cause my Vietnam vet husband to be on edge. I'm going to enjoy the day - weather shouldn't be any hotter than typical summer - then close the windows before dark to mitigate the bomb-sounds. When I was a kid the 4th was so much fun, but that was before jerks were setting off illegal fireworks.

Hugs all around

[leomama]

We’re the servers down for anyone else last night?
I’ve had a super rough week at work and also increased my dose of lamictal last night from 50mg to 100mg per my doctors orders. I’m ready to give up on medication but that’s how I got into this situation in the first place.
I was looking at the wellness wheel and my occupational health is very low. I know I need a different job. I don’t have the energy to find one while working and being there for my daughter and looking after my apt.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by leomama

We’re the servers down for anyone else last night?
I’ve had a super rough week at work and also increased my dose of lamictal last night from 50mg to 100mg per my doctors orders. I’m ready to give up on medication but that’s how I got into this situation in the first place.
I was looking at the wellness wheel and my occupational health is very low. I know I need a different job. I don’t have the energy to find one while working and being there for my daughter and looking after my apt.

Yeah I couldn’t log in. I woke up at 2:30 and couldn’t get in until 7.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by leomama

We’re the servers down for anyone else last night?
I’ve had a super rough week at work and also increased my dose of lamictal last night from 50mg to 100mg per my doctors orders. I’m ready to give up on medication but that’s how I got into this situation in the first place.
I was looking at the wellness wheel and my occupational health is very low. I know I need a different job. I don’t have the energy to find one while working and being there for my daughter and looking after my apt.

Like Mountaindewed, I also couldn't get on for a while. I assume they did some update? I tried between around 7 am and noon, my time (middle of the night to early morning US EDT).

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Like Mountaindewed, I also couldn't get on for a while. I assume they did some update? I tried between around 7 am and noon, my time (middle of the night to early morning US EDT).

Glad that people are posting about it now. First crazy thought I had was “was I banned for being too harsh? Did someone complain about me?” Lol, that’s where my mind goes.

[Fuzzybear]

Feed is served, Papa bear has told me. I was going to post something else but do not have time...

[Fuzzybear]

Yeah, I couldn't get on for a while either, yesterday or today

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby and I have worked our tails off all day preparing for our guests tomorrow and the next day. In reality, we've gone overboard, but I suppose if you can do little spring-cleaning stuff, why criticize it?

I might be wrong, but I am a tinge nervous that my sister-in-law and her son will want to "test" me to see how my Czech has come along. The sad reality is that it hasn't that much. There will come a time when I truly must put the nose to the grindstone. Ideally, I should register for formal Czech language classes. However, I'd like a couple things to happen first. One, get my second vaccination. Two, feel a bit more comfortable driving here. I don't think that's unreasonable.

I think it sounds very reasonable to want your second dose before attending a language class. The driving will just take time. Have fun!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BethRags

The 4th of July is my least favorite holiday because of the noise (illegal fireworks) that terrorize my elderly cat and cause my Vietnam vet husband to be on edge. I'm going to enjoy the day - weather shouldn't be any hotter than typical summer - then close the windows before dark to mitigate the bomb-sounds. When I was a kid the 4th was so much fun, but that was before jerks were setting off illegal fireworks.

Hugs all around

Yup, I don’t recall so many people shooting off illegal fireworks when I was a kid. We had small things but the big one are illegal in my entire state. And last night they were going off for almost 2 hours! Thankfully my cat ignores them, they don’t bother him at all. Yeah the fourth was a lot of fun when I was a kid.

[Moose72]

I couldn't get on last night either. I figured they'd fix it soon and they did.

The party last night was fun- as always. My cousin has a good-condition VW bus! I just can't imagine how much my cousin makes a year but it's got to be a lot. Every Independence Day party he buys a lot of expensive fireworks. Its a great show. Good thing he lives in the country - the fireworks are very loud! He owns his own cement business and though he lives 45 minutes outside of town I often see his truck (with his name on it!) around my town. And he makes his money during the Spring/Summer seasons. I know he does snow removal in the winter too. This is the cousin who is 3 years younger than I am and when he was 3 would talk about "Back-Oh's". Now he's middle aged using all kinds of equipment!

I've got to do laundry today or tomorrow. I will have to see if the card readers are still down.

Day after tomorrow is my big dentist day! I owe a lot of money and already paid 2/3 of it last time. I'd rather just keep my temp teeth- they seem good and solid. I wonder if it will be easier this time- just pop out the temp ones and pop in each of the new ones? Nah. Can't be. I will be up early to make sure I have enough time to shower and to drive there. Drive time is 5-10 minutes- more like 10 door-to-door. I'll take pix of the new teeth and post here once the numbing wears off- at least, I HOPE they numb me!

[Mountaindewed]

I was also on lithium and it caused me to puke and the hospital said I was just faking it because I had actually been displaying bulimic behaviors before. Then the lithium caused me to throw up for real and no one believed me. They didn’t believe me about the bulimia either and said I was just faking it for attention. Now 14 years later I’m being told I do have an eating disorder and almost got sent IP and stuff and I’m kind of in denial about it because I’m still confused from what I was told as a teenager. Man did I get ****ed over when I was a teenager.

The only thing I took out of that experience is that when you ask for help, you won’t get it and you’ll be labeled an attention seeker. But if you don’t seek help but you show some behaviors they will think you have legit issues.

I didn’t want to bring it up at all with my last last therapist but I mentioned my weight loss from getting off meds, during our second or 3rd session and she read a lot into it then it kind of got out of control, but I swear it was on her part.

[MuddyBoots]

More poison ivy, sunburn, sleep deprivation... yeah, I'm in summer mode, and I don't like it one bit.

[wildflowerchild25]

We are home from vacation finally! I had some fun but I am so relieved to be back at my home base with no one but RS and my son around. I was upset this morning and I couldn’t shake it for a couple of hours but once we got to the bridge and tunnels I was ok. I am just not a beach girl. I suggested we should go up to upstate New York near the Adirondacks one year. I used to go to a lake there when I was very little with my family while my dad was alive. It’s one of my few good memories.

I texted my mom real quick to let her know we were home and she said she was on her way to my uncle’s and then going to stay overnight at my grandma’s. My mother hates her brother so I’m wondering if his mystery illness is getting worse. Unless they’re having a bbq, they used to. My uncle’s birthday is the sixth so maybe that’s all it is. But I’m not going to ask because a) I don’t like my uncle anyway and b) if everyone wants to continue to be secretive and passive aggressive they can go for it but I’m not getting involved anymore.

Personally I think 45 years of heavy drinking is catching up with my uncle but I could be totally wrong. But I’ll probably never know because he won’t even tell his wife so whatever.