[wally]

hello folks, it has been a long time since I have put anything on this site. It would really be helpful to know if anyone has ever gotten into trouble in a manic phase. I have done crazy things that I would not even consider if I was in between manic and depressed stages. I have been told that I tend to regress when Manic.

[sweetangel]

i myself do not get in troubel when i'm manic but in the rtc there was a lot of people that did. i don't know how you feel about feeling alone but sometimes going to a quiet alone place can help. plus take meds!

[ehrhar]

Yes, I've gotten into some embarassingly, shamefull predicaments while manic. Consisting of some of the typical symptoms involving finances, overt sexuality, paranoid delusions and halucinations. I know that when the episode dissappated (meaning that I got back on my medications) I felt horribly embarrassed about my activities. I was seeing a very wise pdoc who helped a great deal by having me talk to his other patients. It's important to know that your not alone with your feelings. Try and communicate with the appropriate people about the way you feel. It will really help.

[trixielou]

this helps so much to know that others have gotten into embarrassing situations when manic. one time i ended up in a local cemetary with an alcoholic war vet. i did not want to be found. i was dirty hadnt showered in a few days was drinking. when my husband found it escalated into a big embarrassing scene. i refused to go with him he told the man i was with to leave & he did i got very violent & hard to handle. the cops were called & they had to subdue me i was face down on the ground with handcuffs on so tight i thought my wrists would break. i felt like i was in a haze--i remember looking over & here came my mom. i had kept trying to throw myself over the steep embankment going down to the creek. they sat me down on the side of the four lane (small town) with cars going by & people staring. i just remember sitting there with my head down crying & digging my fingers down into the dirt with the cuffs still on. my dad had arrived & was livid at the way they were treating me. i was taken to an overnight holding place by a state trooper for mentally ill intoxicated type people. he was actually kind & talked to me on the way down in the car. he wrote a ticket for public intoxication but told me to get a hold of him in a few days & he would come & talk to me & see about tearing it up. he made good on his promise but this incident along with numerous others in my small town make me just want to lock myself inside. the shame can be toxic as it can just feed everything going on already in my mind.

[AAAAA]

I haven't gotten into trouble exactly, but I know that I've put a strain on my marriage. I like to redo the house and the last time my husband said "if you rip apart one more room before we finshed the others I'm leaving" I think that was only 80% kidding.

I've done some pretty embarrassing things that I would have never done otherwise.

[tajk]

All I use to do was get into trouble. I live in a small town and most people know me as the crazy girl. Who is either getting into trouble and is the center of attention or who is to depressed to talk to anyone. To make matters worse I have an over achieving family and that makes me the screw up. I was diagnosed a year ago and even though I haven't had the manic episodes in about six months I think I will always be the crazy girl in this town.

[ehrhar]

My first manic episode took place in Miami. A city that I grew up in and had a large number of friends in. All of them were exposed at some point in time to the symptoms of the episode. I was convinced that I had psychic powers that could be used to help the CIA so I quit my job and described my reasons for quitting in the resignation letter. Boy, I bet my employer got a great laugh out of that. I then became convinced that I was being followed by drug dealers. I drove to the airport and got on the first plane that was leaving town. While on the plane I convinced the passenger sitting next to me to drive me to a hotel. I checked into a hotel and then roamed the streets of the city all night long. I had enough money for one night at the hotel. I had round trip ticket so I gave a pair of earings to a cab driver so I could get back to the airport. Once I got back to Miami I enlisted in the Navy in order to escape the drug dealers. The Navy recognized pretty quick that my elevator didn't go all the way to the top. They released me from service. I held to the embarrasement for a long, long time. I left Miami and moved out West it took 14 years for me to feel comfortable enough to see Miami again and to even contact some of the people that witnessed the manic episode. I wanted to disappear from the map too. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps so much.

[trixielou]

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tajk said:
All I use to do was get into trouble. I live in a small town and most people know me as the crazy girl. Who is either getting into trouble and is the center of attention or who is to depressed to talk to anyone. To make matters worse I have an over achieving family and that makes me the screw up. I was diagnosed a year ago and even though I haven't had the manic episodes in about six months I think I will always be the crazy girl in this town.

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this sounds exactly like me. i go to the pool in the summer every year where there is everyone who i grew up with & i dont say a word to anyone. in the midst of so many people i feel completely alone. i often feel like people avoid me cuz they think im the crazy girl & stuff ive done & it hurts & i have no friends. the two friends i did have when i was younger--one time one of them told me they had a conversation about me having mental problems. ever since then ive completely cut myself off from them i feel so embarrassed. sometimes i wonder why im even here. i feel sad alot more than i feel happy. last halloween on a whim i put on wild makeup slicked my hair back with gel & put on this really slutty outfit & was going to peoples houses saying trick or treat with my candy bag & cigarette in another hand. i was practically just running over little kids. alot of times i feel like my own family is ashamed of me except for my dad cuz alot of mental illness runs in his family & it just hurts. and people wonder why people self medicate. not that its an excuse to turn to drugs or alcohol cuz theres therapy & resources to help instead of turning to self destructive stuff thats just gonna make stuff worse. ive got so much more i could tell about my behavior in mania but ill save it for another reply. i feel like crying after typing this.