[Victoria'smom]

So I wasn't making a big deal about the voices, it doesn't stress me because I view it like a headache. But t stressed it. Wants me to talk to the pdoc asap. And gave me her extension if I need anything between appointments. She wanted me to know I wasn't bothering anyone by calling if they don't call back.

I like her but I worry about what will happen when it does go sideways. I didn't even remember to tell her everything. I kinda feel all this can be dealt with when I get home.

[*Beth*]

I'm so glad she let you know that calling again if you need to is okay.

[Victoria'smom]

Thank you Beth. I like this T better than wv T. I'm not comfortable sharing everything with her yet. I'm a down player. So maybe she picks up on that. Most of my stuff is internal I'm a great masker. I found out last night my husband is doing really really ******. He's had to borrow money, tried to sell plasma, and is going to a food bank today. I tried to control everything from here but there's only so much I can do. it's only a week untill I get back. I was so stressed yesterday I almost started smoking again. It's better than relapsing on other bad habits.

She asked if my parents are supportive I said in their own way. I need to elaborate when I get home. My dad wants me on no meds. Supportive isn't my mom's strong point But they try.

[Victoria'smom]

They can't hospitalize me because my meds aren't working right? I have to actually be danger to myself? I just had word salad come out of my mouth twice in less then an hour. It wasn't a little slip up. It was several paragraphs and I didn't realize until their faced dropped and the said what. I tried again and no luck. I ended up having to go get what I was talking about then talk.

[~Christina]

Well honestly Pdoc's across the country are not just tossing people IP unless they need it.

That said if your not able to keep yourself safe or your wanting to harm someone then yes IP needs to be on the table.

I saw you say somewhere that you stopped your anxiety med... Is it a benzo? Or?( sorry I can't remember) if so then unless you weaned off you could be having withdraws which can really flip your life upside down.

As for your Dad wanting you off meds.. that's just how he feels about it but ultimately its up to you. You and I have known each other for like over 8 years??? and I can tell you when you stop meds or changed around with dosage it honestly never helps, you crash and burn and it takes a long time to find some kind of stability.

Why are you thinking about going on pills instead of monthly injection? I know you struggle to take pills so why add that stressor into your life?

[Victoria'smom]

I'm not going off meds or the shot, being on two aps have really helped me. Things always go haywire when I'm away. This isn't to bad as far as haywire goes. I think we all remember how bad my out west trip went. This is easy the anxiety is getting to me. But my loud head is not. My anxiety med is hydroxiden or however you spell it. So pdoc is calling tomorrow at 4. I'm relieved they hospitalize me just to change my meds.

[*Beth*]

I've been hospitalized just for the purpose of expediting a med change, but that was way back when there were beds available to anyone who needed one.

Financial stress is 100% miserable.

I keep my "stuff" inside, too...until it really overflows and I can't keep it inside anymore.

[Victoria'smom]

So I started coughing today. I took the cough medicine that the pharmacist said I could my anxiety is really bad right now. Pdoc calls tomorrow. I'm coughing so hard I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Have you been around anyone who may have covid?

[Victoria'smom]

I don't think so my niece had a fever one night and there's a cold going around her daycare. I've been in the same house as her but she doesn't interact with me. ( I'm a stranger to her)

[Victoria'smom]

So pdoc called I told him I didn't want to deal with anything until I get home . He said okay and refilled my meds. I figure if anything I can get an emergency appointment.

[*Beth*]

That's good!

[Victoria'smom]

Well I'm to sick to get on the plane. I don't want to infect anyone especially my boys. I still think it's a cold that I caught but I never do well getting sick. I have no idea what this means for my meds and stuff. No longer know how long I'll be up here for. I just want to be home.

[~Christina]

Hope you feel better quickly and you can get back home ASAP.. Remember to push lots of fluids