Bipolar check-in #61

Oh don’t I wish, no, no car seat warmer in my car. Actually it feels like it might have warmed up a bit. The wind has gone down so less windchill. But we’ve an windchill advisories until noon tomorrow.

Mum just came up with a nurse, they are taking her to get an EKG. I hope that’s ok. Yesterday was one of her anxious days. When she gets anxious she potters around and does unnecessary job s like vacuuming and washing whatever even if it’s just a few silverware’s and a glass. When I first moved in with her I read her sheets from the doctor and saw that she had been diagnosed with major depression but wasn’t on any meds for it( probably because of her heart meds) and hadn’t been referred to a T. But since I’ve moved in she’s only had one heart attack and been in the hospital only once. Before that she was in the hospital 2-3 times a year. So I must be doing something right.

I think beardcicles are sexy :P

Had to take as needed meds last night do to restlessness.
took a zyprexa and the requip. It worked and finally got to sleep then
overslept. I need to do some thing cleaning. Hubby will ask
me what I did all day. I won't tell him that I got up at almost 1 pm.
It feels cold in the house 39 outside. It will be below freezing the next few nights. I think I will turn up the heat a bit.
Had the left over chicken soup for lunch then took my meds.
It was so windy it took off our flag pole that was on the house!
It is going to get nasty weather here. freezing rain, wind. glad to have a warm roof and home. We need to get new windows they are very drafty.
bizi

Thanks, I'll mention this one to my NP. I've also read somewhere clonidine can help so I'll mention that too. I really have to get off Haldol though.

Speaking of cold, the state has another plow naming contest. Last year plowy mcplowface won. This year one of the entrees is Betty Whiteout. I hope that one wins, there’s 8 winners for the eight districts. Some good names. When ya live with weather like ya get here in the winter ya gotta find fun where ya can. You betcha!

My mom and I were in the car the other day. And she had just turned on the radio and the most bizzare crap was playing. It wasn't even a song. We were listening to the 70's channel. But it was by a band or somebody calling themselves a band called Think, and the name of the "song" was Once You Understand. And it was just like a bunch of whiny kids asking/saying stuff and then their stern parents saying no and "when I was your age!" And then a weird voice would sing the words "things get a little easier, once you understand." Then a police officer starts talking and if you are senstive I highly suggest turning it off at this point because theres some heavy S and SH happening at the end.

But the whole time my mom and I were like wtf did we just listen to? This morning I googled it and basically theres no info on the song the only thing is other people asking what the **** were they listening to.

But my new hoodie came. In XL again instead of small. I dumped it off at UPS and if they want to refund me cool. If not whatever. I'm done fighting with Amazon.

My mom just looked and According to my online portal a number of my blood levels are high although she's not sure what any of that means. I am freezing and shaking and the room is spinning. But I've had to go down to 2 valium today so maybe thats part of it.

Nammu !

We are 25 ! Wind chill is brutal. Too cold for here! I’m ready for spring

Im sending enormous amounts of JuJu to help you sleep

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m so sorry your dealing with such hellish side effects. Hopefully your NP will find something that will be more tolerable. Hang in there

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Too damn cold here !!! It might warm up a bit on Monday. My tactile hallucinations seem to be resolved. Took far too long though.

Richard is sick so didn’t see him yesterday I am so hoping he will be okay. I’m very worried.

Everyone staying warm?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Watching Mrs. Doubtfire. I did something stupid. I ate macaroni and cheese for dinner. Oh well. My digestion will just be a bit off. I am not allergic to butter but the cheese I used gives me some tummy issues sometimes. I still haven't broken my fasts. So that's good. And I drank 5 or so 12 oz glasses of water.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ... But my new hoodie came. In XL again instead of small. I dumped it off at UPS and if they want to refund me cool. If not whatever. I'm done fighting with Amazon. ...

That is so aggravating! You can call customer service, you know. Or do chat with customer service.


I have a return to go back to Amazon. UPS was supposed to pick it up 2 days ago. I did a chat just now and the customer service dude said UPS will be here tomorrow. I sure hope so.

Christina, I'm sorry Richard was sick. I know you wanted to see him.

I had a therapy appt. today. I'm having a big problem. The new clinic is out in a depressing location, just a huge parking lot and a bunch of closed up stores around. The past 2 times I've been to the clinic I've seen a cat near a dumpster. Obviously some a**hole dumped it there, because there are no houses anywhere nearby. I saw the cat last week and I saw it today. I felt physically sick. I cannot risk the health of my own cats and bring another in, plus I have no space and definitely no money...I worry constantly about being able to take care of my own 5 kitties.

I'm just all wound up about the whole thing, the dread of seeing that poor cat every time I go to therapy. I have a headache, feel exhausted, and am sooooo FED UP with being a hyper sensitive person. It just hurts.

And the stupid weather has me annoyed. My windows are open, my heater is off, it's far too warm to wear my nice wool scarf.


I'm sorry to complain so much. I'm going to try to pull myself together and watch Netflix after dinner. Hopefully, I can stop stressing out.

Love all around

Beth, seeing dumpster cats is hard.

Rough night. I got triggered after RS and I were cuddling and had to pull away. I’d already taken my sleep med plus anxiety med but I felt trapped in the room after the light went out. I went to the living room and accidentally fell asleep there. I awoke at 2am and tried to return to the bedroom but I still felt trapped in there so I just came back out to the couch. I remember thinking around 3:45am about how tf I was supposed to make it through work today.

I had the foresight to bring the Xanax with me to work. I went in and when all the students arrived I immediately got so upset by the noise I went out to my car to take it. I stayed in the car for about ten minutes under the pretense of looking for my school keys, though I really was and it turns out I left them at home. I was trying so hard not to cry. I would have left immediately but I’m out of excuses. I’ve used my son three times now and they have changed the policy to since he’s vaccinated he can stay in school even if he’s been exposed. They would know I’m lying. If my original supervisor hadn’t “resigned” (suspicious circumstances) I could have gone to her and she would have understood but my supervisor now is a huge b**** and I’m intimidated by her.

Anyway after I took the Xanax I calmed down for about five hours and then I got super agitated again and paced behind all the desks in the back. I had to go take more to get through the rest of the day. I’m pretty tired right now. I was going to take a shower but I don’t think I can manage. It’s only day one and now that my hair is shorter I can push it with dry shampoo to two days.

I really don’t know if I’m going to bother going in tomorrow. Problem is I won’t know if I’m hypersensitive until I get there around all the noise. I’m almost out of Xanax though. I have to call and leave a message on the prescription line since I don’t see my dr for another 2 weeks. I’d call for an earlier appt but she probably won’t have a earlier evening one. And after the vaguely threatening email we all got at work I’m not inclined to request off when I don’t have the time to take. It’s easier to call out and make some **** up.

My day has been fine. I'm really hungry these days though and I can't seem to find anything to really hit the spot. Oh well. In other news, the weather is still snowy and cold. It's pretty and all, but I am just glad I have nowhere to be. Hope everyone is doing well. Just checking in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Rough night. I got triggered after RS and I were cuddling and had to pull away. I’d already taken my sleep med plus anxiety med but I felt trapped in the room after the light went out. I went to the living room and accidentally fell asleep there. I awoke at 2am and tried to return to the bedroom but I still felt trapped in there so I just came back out to the couch. I remember thinking around 3:45am about how tf I was supposed to make it through work today. I had the foresight to bring the Xanax with me to work. I went in and when all the students arrived I immediately got so upset by the noise I went out to my car to take it. I stayed in the car for about ten minutes under the pretense of looking for my school keys, though I really was and it turns out I left them at home. I was trying so hard not to cry. I would have left immediately but I’m out of excuses. I’ve used my son three times now and they have changed the policy to since he’s vaccinated he can stay in school even if he’s been exposed. They would know I’m lying. If my original supervisor hadn’t “resigned” (suspicious circumstances) I could have gone to her and she would have understood but my supervisor now is a huge b**** and I’m intimidated by her. Anyway after I took the Xanax I calmed down for about five hours and then I got super agitated again and paced behind all the desks in the back. I had to go take more to get through the rest of the day. I’m pretty tired right now. I was going to take a shower but I don’t think I can manage. It’s only day one and now that my hair is shorter I can push it with dry shampoo to two days. I really don’t know if I’m going to bother going in tomorrow. Problem is I won’t know if I’m hypersensitive until I get there around all the noise. I’m almost out of Xanax though. I have to call and leave a message on the prescription line since I don’t see my dr for another 2 weeks. I’d call for an earlier appt but she probably won’t have a earlier evening one. And after the vaguely threatening email we all got at work I’m not inclined to request off when I don’t have the time to take. It’s easier to call out and make some **** up.

It sounds like you need med adjustments/changes. Maybe it's worth it to call for an earlier appointment. Give it a try.

I'm also just checking in. I had a nice time dozing the day away. I could have gone to the women's social this morning but i didn't feel like talking and i think it's kind of lame to go and just listen. I went in my Scrabble club's online night last night and won two out of three and had a fairly good time. At least it was a faintly social thing to do while in lockdown.

Speaking of which, our current COVID crisis has leveled off and restrictions are being lifted at the end of the month! I'll be able to get out to the mall to the foodcourt for a break, tho if today is any indication, i won't want to.

Hugs and hot chocolate to all suffering the cold. It's extreme here too. Brr!

@wildflowerchild25:

Life on disability benefits has it's disadvantages in that it is boring but with the level of difficulty you are having is it an option? I find it isolating for me but you have your husband and son so you won't have to deal with that part of it. Just sounds to me like the struggle you are having is unsustainable. Maybe it's me, i know i couldn't put up with the drama you are experiencing, but everybody is different, maybe it's somehow tolerable for you, we all get to decide for ourselves. If you think it's still worthwhile, all the power to you!

Good job on your fasting and water intake. Hope your stomach doesn’t give you too many stomach problems

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You have nothing to be sorry about

We live out a backroad that has lots of twists, turns up and down so it’s a perfect place for total shyt humans to dump unwanted animals. I get furious about it. I can’t tell you how many dogs and cats over the years we have fed and found responsible people to give a furry family member a life long home.

Your babies are lucky to have you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Awwww hun hang in there.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't know if its the switching to 2 valium a day. But around 2:30 after UPS I suddenly felt very nauseated and incredibly cold and headachy and tired. Thats when I had my mom look and saw that my bloodwork was so off. I was shivering violently and I was under about 3 blankets and my weighted one. I took some tylenol and some pepto bismol and a vistril. I then fell asleep, my second nap of the day. Which was unheard of even when I was being evaulated for a sleep disorder. I kept throwing up in my mouth and then going back to sleep right away. I woke up about 3 hours later and I've been up. I feel very weak and wobbly and its hard for me to walk around. My breathing seems a bit gurggly but its better after using a vicks patch.

I don't know what happened and why it was so sudden. I hope my doctor gets back in the morning with what the results mean.

I feel for stray animals, too. If this is of any consolation (which it might not be), it's possible that that cat comes from a line of strays, so it may not know anything else. Also, of stray domestic animals, I think cats have the easiest time compared to stray dogs. Unless the cat looks ill, try not to think of it that much. Regardless, it is people's responsibility to either spay/neuter their cats or think long and hard before adopting one (possibly leading to "release" or abuse). When I lived in Taiwan, the sight of many stray dogs was heart-breaking. As said, they fare worse than cats for various reasons. Many were mangy and often victims of rather horrible demises. It's a rough world sometimes where we must build some figurative calluses else we be depressed constantly.

I'm not a morning person (never was unless manic), but had to get up early today. I much prefer to ease into the day. Then I pick up energy suddenly and do well until a while after my evening medications.

So far, I'm happy with the Lyrica I've been taking since Tuesday night. Not sure if it's the placebo effect, but my left foot seems to hurt less. For the first time in what seems like ages, I can get out of bed in the morning and not limp. Of course it wasn't prescribed for that. My psychiatrist gave it to me to control irritability and agitation, which it's eased, too. Again, placebo effect? I haven't noticed any negative side effects, but I'm on a very small dose. Hope this all continues.

Hi, new member today, reaching out because I feel abit isolated here.