Bipolar check-in #61

I dozed away the daytime and played Scrabble for hours in the evening. I didn't have many interesting games today. I guess yesterday was just stellar.

The high-rise building i live in is making occasional loud bangs as the concrete expands and contracts due to the cold and it terrifies my dog. When we're in bed she tries to crawl into me and pants her stinky dog-breath right in my face! Yuck! I love her but sometimes she is gross!

@Soupe du jour:

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so lousy. Is it the pandemic? I know what you mean about feeling alone. My ex wasn't good company either. We each did our own thing. But we have the MySupportForum family here and i really care about you. We've all been with you as you've made your transformation into a European and have followed your adventures with keen interest. All i can say is remember: "This too shall pass."

My anxiety is tough today. I assume I'm just super anxious about my appointment on Thursday. I didnt sleep the greatest last night but I got enough sleep. I ate dinner around 3:30 then I woke up at 11 hungry and in pain. I am trying to tell myself I woke up mostly because I was hungry. My mom and I went out this morning. We went to Target and then went to a couple hardware stores looking for KN95 masks. No luck on the masks. If they don't already they should put a limit on many a person can buy at one time. I have in person therapy tommorow morning so I'm hoping she's helpful. Right now I just have a headache and my body is telling me to eat something but my mind just wants valium. I was a bit crabby while I was out shopping. I desperatly needed to use the bathroom and I'm just not comfortable using public restrooms. I have to use the mens and I have to go into a stall and I just dont want any trouble. Also I was getting frustrated shopping. How hard is it to find camo pants that arent sweat/jogger pants? I want cargo camo pants yet I cant seem to find them. My mom is at Walmart, sometimes they have stuff like that.

Edit: I just honestly don't feel good today but I think its just nerves but the nurse said theres something legit medical going on so maybe I don't feel good for a valid physical reason too. I don't know. I had my valium and a tylenol and a yogurt and I just feel blah right now.

Now I'm very tired but my temp is normal wonder if its covid. Lol. I made some soup and I am lying down. My headache did not go away with the tylenol but I only took one.

Now my headache turned into a raging migraine that is getting me right in my right eye. I am not in a good mood because of it. My brother is on face time with his therapist who keeps misgendering me and I want to go out there and yell at him.

Well Beth, I did it. I screwed up my courage and took myself and my half bottle of pills and went to the pharmacy. They were serious and very nice about the whole thing but they have to check their tapes. Made much more sense to them once they understood I filled my box Sunday night and that I have a weeks worth in the box. But I won’t know the outcome for an other hour or so. I did say I needed to be able to use up some gas so I can use my coupons and my pharmacy is on the other side of town. I’m afraid of the outcome though, but I did it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Well Beth, I did it. I screwed up my courage and took myself and my half bottle of pills and went to the pharmacy. They were serious and very nice about the whole thing but they have to check their tapes. Made much more sense to them once they understood I filled my box Sunday night and that I have a weeks worth in the box. But I won’t know the outcome for an other hour or so. I did say I needed to be able to use up some gas so I can use my coupons and my pharmacy is on the other side of town. I’m afraid of the outcome though, but I did it.

Good for you, Nammu! You absolutely did the wise and right thing. Let me know how it turns out.

I awoke this morning at 4:30 to feed the cats and give Sidney (kitty) her insulin shot. I went to wash my hands, waited for the water to heat up...and waited...nothing but cold water. I realized that again (!!!) our complex is without hot water. This happened over the summer and we were without hot water for 3 days - which is not legal in this state, but the owners - of course - never bothered to knock $20 off the rent or any other kind of compensation. There's obviously something wrong with the water heaters here.

I can't stand being dirty, so I took an ice-cold shower (shrieking through it and telling myself "It's not as bad as child birth"). Miserable, though. I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow, so I did not wash my hair in that icy water. It's about 50 degrees outside, but very chilly and damp.

I hate this! I have to go to the store and when I come back I wash my hands, but washing with cold water isn't as effective as killing germs (i.e. omicron) as hot water is. I saw the maintenance guy here a while ago, but he was around for just a short time, then left. I really doubt we'll have hot water today or tomorrow.

Anyway, I don't feel very good...chilled and a kind-of sick sleepy. I'm going to really bundle up and go to the store.

Love all around

I got rid of my headache. With advil. I wonder if that one tylenol and then the advil 2 hours later wasn't the smartest. But I've been getting headaches lately which is one of the reasons I wanted to see the dentist. To check that out since I knew I wasn't doing the best job with my teeth. I took my meds except for my geodon and melatonin and I have my night time nausea and stomach pain now plus this fatigue. I'm hoping its gone by the morning so I won't have to do the correct thing and do another remote therapy session. Going to the dentist was pretty risky but also very necessary and I don't regret going.

My sister had a complication from her c section 7 years after my nephew was born. No doubt I could be having a complication from my hystrectomy 4 "months" later.

So I have covid. My dad say to me. " I wish you'd step away from all that medicine so you could take nyquil when you are sick." I'm struggling as it is to take it, very loose connection to reality right now. I don't need someone close to me treating it like a choice. It kinda makes me sad I can mask as well as I can.

It turned out good 👍 they were ready when I went back. Gave me my original bottle plus another bottle with the missing pills. The whole thing went great. Whew such a relief. You really did give me the courage to do this, thanks 🙏

Oh I’m sorry about the hot water. That’s terrible. When I was a kid and something went wrong with the water heater mum kept a big pot on the stove for washing up in. We still had an old hand washing dish from mum’s childhood. She just kept the water on simmer. Your landlord should definitely give you a break on rent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom So I have covid. My dad say to me. " I wish you'd step away from all that medicine so you could take nyquil when you are sick." I'm struggling as it is to take it, very loose connection to reality right now. I don't need someone close to me treating it like a choice. It kinda makes me sad I can mask as well as I can.

I'm so sorry, Mm My husband is not supportive of me being on meds, so I think I know how you feel. It's very hurtful.

As for covid - please take good care of yourself!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu It turned out good 👍 they were ready when I went back. Gave me my original bottle plus another bottle with the missing pills. The whole thing went great. Whew such a relief. You really did give me the courage to do this, thanks 🙏 Oh I’m sorry about the hot water. That’s terrible. When I was a kid and something went wrong with the water heater mum kept a big pot on the stove for washing up in. We still had an old hand washing dish from mum’s childhood. She just kept the water on simmer. Your landlord should definitely give you a break on rent.

I am so glad it worked out well with the pharmacy!! Oh, yay!


Thank you about the hot water. All sympathy helps, haha. I am heating water in the microwave - if we still have only cold water tonight I'll be using my Dutch Over pot to heat water on the stove.

@BethRags

Beth - no hot water ! Sux! Glad you didn't try to wash your hair -. Oh brrrr!

So glad the pharmacy gave you the missing meds without a problem.

Reminds me of when I was first married . My new husband didn't pay the gas bill so they turned it off! It was winter and it was so cold! We had a large pot and we would heat up all that water and take a bath. But that was terrible. If I got anything from my marriage- besides the kids of course- it's a lot of stories like this!

Man I’m hurting from clenching my teeth. Anxiety makes my tmj so much worse. Right now it’s jaw, tooth, head and neck pain.

@Nammu
Glad you did it and now it’s fixed!

@BethRags
Uuuugh no hot water!!! That’s awful! In my old apartment complex (where I lived a good ten years ago) they would just shut off the water completely with no warning. I went home to make dinner and when I tried to get some water to boil nothing came out! It happened at least 3-4 times in the two years we lived there. Twice the heat went out as well and wasn’t fixed for a couple of days. One time when the heat went out my son was a six week old newborn and I was terrified of him not maintaining proper temperature. Since newborns can’t regulate their body temperature I was afraid of wrapping him in too many blankets (in my arms, not his crib) and making him too hot but also not enough and him getting too cold. I can’t judge myself because even 70 is too chilly for me. Turns out he runs hot like his father lol.

@Soupe du jour
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so miserable. I do hope your mood picks up soon

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 @Nammu Glad you did it and now it’s fixed! @BethRags Uuuugh no hot water!!! That’s awful! In my old apartment complex (where I lived a good ten years ago) they would just shut off the water completely with no warning. I went home to make dinner and when I tried to get some water to boil nothing came out! It happened at least 3-4 times in the two years we lived there. Twice the heat went out as well and wasn’t fixed for a couple of days. One time when the heat went out my son was a six week old newborn and I was terrified of him not maintaining proper temperature. Since newborns can’t regulate their body temperature I was afraid of wrapping him in too many blankets (in my arms, not his crib) and making him too hot but also not enough and him getting too cold. I can’t judge myself because even 70 is too chilly for me. Turns out he runs hot like his father lol. @Soupe du jour I’m so sorry you’re feeling so miserable. I do hope your mood picks up soon

Yes, they shut the water off here with no warning, too. I'm always afraid I'll be in the middle of a shower and the water will go off.


It would be frightening to have a newborn in such a situation, with no heat.

Soupe...I'm concerned. How are you? Please check in.

Yes soupe. Do check in.

Soupe please check in.

@Soupe du jour:

Yes, i'm concerned as well. How are you doing?

I did not take vraylar this morning. My pdoc called and said to switch back to twice a week to see if that helps alleviate the stomach issues. I was nauseous driving to and from work despite the Dramamine. I still have pain. However it is the unfortunate truth that vraylar takes a good two to three weeks to get out of the system. Hopefully by just reducing the timetable it will help but it may not help quickly. We’ll just have to see.

I plunged pretty suddenly and deeply into depression as I was cooking dinner. But I am hormonal and that is often the way for me at this time of the month so I’m not overly concerned at the moment.

I’m feeling incredibly out of place at work. I like my team but I feel like they don’t like me, which I’m sure is not true. I’m very guarded about what I reveal about myself even though all of us have trauma in some form. I just know that two of them are huge gossips. The biggest one casually dropped that her best friend (another coworker) had been out recently because of a “mental breakdown”. I think we’ve all had those but I dunno, I don’t need her spreading my business around the school. That happened to me at my very first school, and a student heard and used it against me. Also EVERYONE knew my first husband died of an overdose even though I only ever told one person. I don’t feel like going through that again.

Cheeto gets ever thinner and now he’s looking pretty raggedy, oily coat with a lot of dandruff, like he’s not taking care of himself. He’s eating like we never feed him though! I always hear him crunching away in there and the bowls are emptying faster than ever. When I turn on the bathtub faucet he drinks like he hasn’t drink in days. Turns out they don’t like the fountain, of course. They like the still water bowl as long as it’s cleaned and filled with fresh water twice a day.

I’m honestly afraid to call the vet. What if he says there’s nothing left to do? I can’t stand seeing Cheeto like this but at the same time he’s his normal self behavior wise. Active, affectionate, always walking around with his tail up. I just don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll call and seek advice tomorrow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 ... Cheeto gets ever thinner and now he’s looking pretty raggedy, oily coat with a lot of dandruff, like he’s not taking care of himself. He’s eating like we never feed him though! I always hear him crunching away in there and the bowls are emptying faster than ever. When I turn on the bathtub faucet he drinks like he hasn’t drink in days. Turns out they don’t like the fountain, of course. They like the still water bowl as long as it’s cleaned and filled with fresh water twice a day. I’m honestly afraid to call the vet. What if he says there’s nothing left to do? I can’t stand seeing Cheeto like this but at the same time he’s his normal self behavior wise. Active, affectionate, always walking around with his tail up. I just don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll call and seek advice tomorrow.

I can't recall...was Cheeto tested for diabetes? His symptoms sure fit for that diagnosis.

I don’t know what they tested for, but he might not have been given the fact that he is young. I’m 95% sure he wouldn’t have been tested for hyperthyroidism either since it’s so rare in young cats. I really do need to call again and find out, I’m just afraid of getting dismissed. I’m not trying to sound like I know better but I think the vet might take it like that. I really am tempted to go to another, the one we used to take my pets to when I was a child. I’m sure that particular practitioner is retired by now, he was probably in his mid fifties 25 years ago. But they have good reviews still.

Oh no I hope some how some way something can be done to fix this

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All taken care of, Beth gave me a shot in the arm to go to the pharmacy and ask that they check it out. They did and I got the other pills. They were very nice about it. Of course it probably helps that this is the first time ever I’ve ever had to say anything and I’ve been a Walgreens customer for decades.

I’m so sorry your dealing with Covid. As for your Dad just take it with a grain of Salt he’s always saying this stuff.

Hope you recover quickly

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