Bipolar check-in #64

I sent my giant packet for medicaid in the mail today. No way could I have fit all the paperwork in the tiny little envelope they gave me. I have a phone interview next week for SSI. I know I was freaking out about it but now I realize what I have control over and what I don't and I'm working on doing what I need to do in terms of what I can control and not worrying about what I can't. It's manageable.

I had chinese last night to celebrate my year drug/alcohol free. Soo expensive ($60 for me, my dad and both our SOs) but soo good.

I have a gynecology appointment monday. My period's lasted 26 days so far. I just switched from the arm implant to an IUD and this is my first period in 4 years so I'm assuming that's why. I could deal without the cramps though

Sending hugs all around. Stay gold my peeps

Congratulations on a year drug/alchohol free. That's huge!

I love chinese food

Grrr at the very long period, that sucks!

One of my medical things is super sensitive nipples to the point of a GP saying she has never seen anything like that before (it's caused me a lot of difficulties, I can't wear bras, sex is painful and other stuff..) She referred me to a breast clinic. Fortunately after talking to Papa bear I realised what it probably was (the referral wasn't necessary) Sorry if tmi, that is one of the few medical things I don't find too triggering and grrr to even write about. I managed to avoid a scary appointment that wasn't even necessary.

Papa bear and I had a celebration meal a few days ago to celebrate the result of a medical stuff thing. The liquid refreshment was reduced (supermarket sale) but still expensive. The result was a week ago (good result) and I think my anxiety is maybe a bit better (after a whole week).

Sending hugs back

Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess.

Be careful on the roads go slow and drive in the right lane. Use your cruise control and that way you don't have to worry about getting pulled over.
good luck this afternoon.
bizi

Theres not much going on today. I slept decently. I woke up with my arm wrapped around the plugged in extension cord with a couple chargers plugged in it around 10PM which was a bit freaky. It was on my bed since my phone was charging. But I got up at my normal time and took a shower and drank a few sodas and ate a couple tuna packets and watched TV in the family room. My moods and anxiety are under control today. I feel much better physically then I did Thursday and yesterday and I've been out of bed and my room all day. I don't have to do laundry today I just have to fill up my med box for next week. Thats the only chore that needs to be done today. I've been saving money since I don't feel like ever going out and I don't eat much of anything so I don't buy too many groceries. I would though like to get out on Monday and go out shopping and out to eat.

My mom just texted me and asked if I wanted to go out to eat with my sister and her family. I said no I just ate so I wasn't hungry. She was with them at some Cub scout thing. Man do I sound like some debbie downer ED food phobia person. But it is technically true. I did just eat a weight watchers TV dinner and I chugged a bottle of water. So I am not hungry. Plus its rude anyways to not go to the scout thing but to have my brother in law pay for a meal for me.

Thank you so much! Good advice.

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@Moose72:

I'm sorry to hear you are not enjoying your adventure as much as you'd hoped. I'm 55 and i had a similar experience last year when in a wild and impractical mood i decided to attend a fun craft-making special event in the city in an area not known to me. Well, it turned out to be a real fiasco getting there and back, i think it was eight buses all told and i was so stressed-out and exhausted and disoriented i threw the craft away.

Like you, i enjoyed adventures when i was young. But like you my lower back and feet were so sore and i was so full of anxiety and disoriented that it was just a bad memory. I've accepted that the time in my life for adventures has passed and that quiet calm days at home are what i enjoy now. I rarely go out of the neighborhood. I'm fat and out-of-shape. The wheelchair sounds like a good way of making the best of the rest of your activity.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I have a surgery dateu! April 25. 2 months after my original planned surgery date. So I have my biopsy Thursday and then Friday a phone call with financial services and then sometime the next week I have pre-op and a meeting with anesthesia is included in that. They spoke to anesthesia and no problems are anticipated with my MAOI. So it looks like I may actually happen this time. I won't believe it until I'm in an OR but it looks hopeful. That will be 4 months and change since the mammogram that started all this. I watched my pre-procedure educational video today. I learned nothing. After this long I have learned plenty on my own. I will be so glad to be done with this. Or I hope to be done with this at least. I won't know for sure for a while yet. But I have a date and that's huge.

Oh, I'm so glad! Having a scheduled surgery date feels so much more secure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear I was thinking earlier on today... I hate anxiety. Today I feel a bit angry which is a big improvement to the severe anxiety. I also have more energy. I'm wearing a pretty dress today (lately I've been wearing a black skirt and an old shirt ...) Definite improvement. I was ''conditioned'' as a cub that buying anything pretty for my self was a felony and terminally selfish. I should have spent my tiny amount of money on buying the mother a teapot. Which she DID NOT NEED (or even want) ... she didn't want me either. I'm such a terrible person... Be gone vile garbage lies .... The sun is shining and Papa bear has been tending to the (other) flowers

I wish I could see your pretty dress, Fuzzy

My mom isnt answering texts which is weird but she didnt answer a call and I'm not overly worried but that was an hour ago. I think I'll just have a protein shake for dinner. I'm not sure why I have felt like drinking my calories today.

And I just made a fool out of myself. I called my mom again and no answer. So then I did get worried and texted my sister. And she said they were fine and just finishing up lunch. I'm glad my mom is ok. I hope I wasn't too annoying but my aunt had a massive heart attack and died at a resturant in 2005 and that was what was running through my head. But its good though for my mom to spend some time with people other then me and my brother.

Ok. Maybe I did overly panic. I've had a lot of soda with caffeine and not much food today. But yesterday I said we needed someone big to die to distract us from the war and my mom said be careful what you wish for and I was wondering if I had done something super dumb. But I meant a celebrity not my mom.

My mom made it home and she stopped at Best Buy to pickup a new pair of $20 Apple plug in headphones (which I paid for). My old pair were just about dead I was just barely getting music out of one side and it was going in and out. She also picked up a small piece of wood because stand up mirrors are expensive but my $7 stick on mirror doesn't stick on my door so we got the $20 stand yesterday and put the piece of flat wood underneath it so it would be stable on the hardwood floor and we got the mirror on the stand and I now have a DIY stand up mirror. I keep thinking of that SNL skit The Califonians since thats what my mirror looks like.

Now all is well. Probably more because my meds are kicking in.

Thanks for this. I'd hate to think that not only an I not fit like I was when I practiced judo 3 times a week but now I can't walk?? Speaking of being 55, my mom turns 75 tomorrow and isn't having any issues with walking. I thought I wasn't this bad off at my age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gary290 Hello • I’m really stressed about having to drive an hour away for appointment late this afternoon. I typically make morning appointments because of afternoon fatigue (due to heart failure and meds). It’s really frustrating. But I have to do what I have to do, I guess.

How did it go, gary?

Checking in. Hello all! It’s a beautiful, full sun 62 degree day here with heavy breeze. Delightful. I’ve been splitting my time between working on my to do list and reading in the sun.

My mood, motivation and energy levels are good.

My daughter is at least texting me. That is something. I’ll take it. The rest is in God’s hands.

Mom is sleeping more than she is awake. Her dementia is also more pronounced. She’ll be 87 in May. I’m a little concerned. I’m glad she is getting a physical soon. Brother is 6 feet tall and weighs 150. He’s dropped 15 pounds since January. Both are deteriorating. I’ve prepared myself for all possibilities. It’s unfortunate. I do think the stress of caring for them is causing my memory problems.

I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday.

Hugs to all.

Sounds similar to what happened to me with the IUD but it had been 8 years since I'd had a period and I had very heavy bleeding . Which IUD are you getting?

Dealing with a terrible tooth ache. It’s possible it’s an infection. I got the crown on in February but at the time there was concern I might need a root canal as my tooth had a huge crack. But my dentist wanted to give it a try since everything is so expensive.

Anyway loads of tears and I’m tapping out on Tylenol, Aleve and ibuprofen every day.

I see my dentist Monday.

Hope everyone is doing well

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I got Kyleena. Which one did you have?

So glad you’ll get relief soon!!!!!

Is it Monday yet? tooth pain is some of the worst out there.

Mirena. Speaking of, my test results came in for blood work and I THINK it said I'm perimenopausal. *Sigh*

That's not greedy. You can post as much as you want.

Anxiety is a b**ch. You're not a freak!

Christina, sorry for your tooth trouble.
I need to use my night guard because I grind my teeth.
You can take up to 4 advils 3 times a day if your kidneys are ok and

so is your liver. that is the prescription dose.

have you been on antibiotics?
I would ask about the pain shots. I have heard that they are ineffective when there is an infection present? I don't know if that is true....ask.
bizi

So we did get me a wheelchair and it made all the difference! I still feel sore but nothing like yesterday!

My mood unraveled a bit today. It was a bit up and down with a stomach ache and uneasy questions about mindfulness meditation but an enjoyable mindful shower, mindful dinner and mindful evening watching TV.

@Moose72:

So glad the wheelchair worked out for you!

@~Christina:

So sorry about the tooth pain. That's got to be a misery. Hopefully your Monday dentist appointment will go well and it won't be much longer.

@BeyondtheRainbow:

Glad things are moving along smoothly now and you have a surgery date settled. It must feel good to have the uncertainty reduced. You've hung in there like a champ!

@whatever2013
I’m sorry to hear about your mood unravelling, but I’m glad you managed to be mindful and cope! Well done! That’s certainly not easy!

@~Christina I’m so sorry to hear about the toothache, what a shame! I hope you get the right treatment and it all goes well as soon as possible!!

@Moose72 I’m glad the wheelchair worked out for you!!