Questions bipolar version #10

I hope you get your clean biopsy for Christmas!

I prefer autumn clothes: boots, long coats, colorful leather jackets. I wear them in winter because our winter in NoCal is like autumn.

What do you consider "self-care"?

Meditation, going for a massage, getting my nails done, listening to music

Are you depressed, hypo or stable?

I honestly don't know anymore! Stable? Slightly paranoid. Not sleeping the greatest.

Same question.

I’m not sure. I was depressed as heck now I feel okay.

Have you ever tried a cigarette?

Only once, at age 26. My then new, now ex-husband gave me one to try. I started coughing and could not figure out the skill of smoking. Could not properly inhale. I have never tried again and when I used marijuana for sleep, I used edibles (or drinkable mango lassi) because I knew I would not be able to smoke, nor did I want to damage my lungs.

If you have children: have you ever tried something that you would not want your children know that you have tried?

There’s no secrets between my daughter and me. Was age appropriate when I told her in an effort to keep her from following that path. Oh I’m sure we have our stuff that not shared. But we have a close relationship and now that she is 40 with kids oof her own we’re more like friends. Stuff that hasn’t been shared just hasn’t had a chance to be organically shared or might be hurtful. Can’t think of anything on the top of my head. This worked for us but it might not work for every parent child relationship it depends on the relationship and personality of people.

Same question

There's nothing we haven't shared with our daughter (minus REALLY personal things obviously!). Like she knows about my DUI. Well, I guess she doesn't know about my multiple suicide attempts. She's a little young to know something like that. Don't want to make her upset. She's very sensitive 🥺. She knows about my illness though and just thinks I go to the hospital when I need extra help).

If you have young children, do they know about your illness?

My 2 eldest kids do. My 5 year old no.

Same question.

I don't have young children but I do have nieces. For a long time they just knew that "sometimes my brain doesn't work quite" and that was fine with them. I know the oldest now knows I have bipolar but I don't know how much she understands that. I have mostly let her parents talk to her about it since that's where she's most comfortable asking questions.

How my pills do you take daily?

Is the question about how many pills total, including supplements, or just prescription drugs?

total.....

All right. Let us count. I am tallying up daily totals without migraine PRNs. My migraine PRN combo consists of one nasal spray and 6 pills, but I do not need that combo frequently. Maybe twice a month.

So:

first thing in the morning:

1 Levoxyl
1 NAC (a supplement for the nervous system that my pdoc himself takes)

Breakfast:

1 Geodon
1 iron
1 lutein
1 vit D3
1 Metformin

every other day, 1 Nurtec. I will count it as daily.

Lunch

1 Metformin
1 vitamin B6
2 B vitamin complex

Dinner late at night

2 Seroquel
4 Gabapentin
1 Metformin

So all together 19 pills. A fine prime number!

Same question.

Oh dear. It's so embarrassing. I take eight meds total, buy they're divided throughout the day. I also take a multivitamin at night.

Gabapentin 800mgx4
Diazepam 10mgx3
Cymbalta 60mg
Cymbalta 30mg
Topamax 50mg
Lamictal 100mgx2
Loxapine 25mgx2
Seroquel 50mgx4 (+100mg prn)
Metformin 500mgx4
Multivitamin x1

So what is that? Like 24 pills total? Christ! I'm surprised I can even think straight!

Same question.

Oh, and I take a caffeine pill in the morning.

Oh, AND I take a melatonin at night.

How am I even coherently constructing sentences?!

I am appalled.

My psych med list is shown below, but I also take Synthroid, a statin, a beta blocker, a blood pressure med, and a multi-vitamin, each day. As for the total number of pills, it's even more than it would seem because some medications' pills don't come in my exact dose, so I need to take more than one pill to get to the dose. This is even more the case where I now live in Europe, than in the US. Also, I take some Seroquel XR and some Seroquel IR, for a good reason. So even though they are basically the same med, the "action" is a little different. To tally them up:

Morning:
Synthroid 150 mcg - x 1
Rosuvastain 10 mg - x 1
Hydrochlorathiazide 25 mg - x 1
Lamictal 100 mg - x 1
Lamictal 25 mg - x 2
Pregabalin 50 mg - x 1
Carbamazepine ER 400 mg - x 1
Total: 8 pills

Evening:
Multi-vitamin - x 1
Carbamazepine ER 400 mg - x 1
Pregabalin 50 mg - x 1
Seroquel XR 300 mg - x 3
Seroquel IR 25 mg - x 2
Metoprolol - x 1
Total: 9 pills

So, in a given day, my usual is 17 pills. No biggie, really. They go down the hatch in one fell swoop. I've taken more in the past. Even back then I decided to get rid of pills that were seemingly unnecessary (i.e. too many supplements). One multi-vitamin is just fine for me, as I have a good diet.

Question: What was your favorite gift for Christmas (or other recent holiday)?

My favorite gift was watching the faces of the people who received my gifts. For mine, it’s a potential good one is a Roku thing that my son in law is going to come and install. Looking forward the that.

My engagement ring but that was before Christmas.

Did you have a good Christmas?

No.

I spent it alone. no family, no friends, no phone calls, and the only christmas card I did get highlighted the fact that I smell.

so no, not really. I'm glad the thing's over

did you have a christmas turkey yesterday?

I did have Christmas turkey.

Are you looking forward to the new year?

Yes I am, last year was hard. Losing mum, my cat going blind then needing three rounds of antibiotics and being really sick. Me having to drastically downsize and move into a tiny apartment. Yes, hoping the next year is better.

The person below me is going watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve

I’m hoping to take my son to see early evening fireworks!

Are you planning on staying up past midnight to watch fireworks?

Around here we don't have fireworks, just people shooting off guns at midnight (not good for PTSD. Hate it. As does Abbycat).

Same question

I won't go out of my way to see them, but might. It's possible the small village I live in might have someone send a few up. If so, I'll go outside to look. I suspect that our friend/neighbor's little dog won't like it. She is very afraid of thunderstorms.

Are you in any way feeling a mood change, however slight? Do you have a history of seasonal mood changes?

No mood change. Still don't know what mood I'm in at the moment. Nothing. I just feel weird and can't sleep. I usually get a little sad around February and start perking up a lot come end of March/April, when the birds start chirping early in the morning (damn birds!).

Same question 🤔