Questions bipolar version #10

I don't really know what that is. I don't know what you mean exactly. I don't think so.

Are you creative?

I mean constant noises in there........a few phrases of music, nasty thoughts about myself, obsessive things I have to do, etc. Since starting Seroquel it's done by about 85%. I didn't even know it could be completely quiet in a room.

I used to be creative prior to the heavier duty meds. Now I wouldn't say so. I hope someday that comes back.

Do you prefer zoos or museums?

Zoos

What is the best advice you've been given?

Talking to myself here.....My therapist used to tell me to "do what you can do, as you can do it". It helped me stay centered.

Is summer heat hard for you with meds?

I'm not even on meds and summer weather is hard. Not so much the heat, but when it's 70 and the dew point is even higher, even that's hard. Can't wait for 90s and humid, and probably being forced on meds soon.

Do you think even when you're euthymic, you're still affected in some way by bipolar cognitively?

Oh! What a good question. I think it depends on if I'm coming out of a severe episode. I always have a period of time where my brain feels like it's healing itself, which sucks. Can't get anything done creatively.

Have you ever been hypersexual? And was it UNBEARABLE?

Yes, yes, and the aftermath is probably the most unbearable of it all now that a bunch of scummy people think I'll put out for anyone at anytime and I have no limits...

Do you always or at least usually switch from (hypo)mania to depression? What's that look like for you?

Ugh. Yes. Usually. And it's dreadful! I have a "crash" period, where I spend up to two weeks depressed, unshowering, and just laying in bed with the covers over my head listening to depressing music and sleeping and abusing my prns and getting nothing done because I'm so lacking in energy.

Same question.

I always go hypo to mixed and eventually depression. I've not had hypomania in quite a while but have had bad depressions the last 3 winters. So I guess things could be different if I had a hypomania now.

What color is your hair?

My reds all turned white, so white and brown. Sort of grizzled, my hairdresser likes it though. I miss the reds.

Same question.

Kind of auburn/brown with a few grays sticking straight up in the front! I hate my grays. Thinking about dyeing my hair all black again, but it's long (past my boobs) and I'd want my hairdresser to do it, which would be expensive.

Do you have long or short hair?

Short. Actually gave it a buzz cut with some dog clippers in January and it's a little over 2 inches long now.

If you've lived in an area for a prolonged amount of time over your life, have you noticed a change in climate/weather? How so?

I've lived in this general area for 24 years but also grew up around here. The contrast between how things were when I was growing up and now are pronounced. There are flowers that used to bloom in August that now bloom in July because July is as hot as August used to be. Fireflies are endangered; we used to have thousands of them on any given summer night. I was just watching through my window and I can count them now. We have a lot of milkweed, butterfly bushes and butterfly weed planted to attract butterflies, specifically monarchs. We haven't seen a single monarch and only a few of our other regular butterflies. They should be here in large numbers. And it is much, much hotter. The house I grew up in didn't have AC and we had some hot nights but I can't imagine living through the weather we had the last week without AC.


What is a comfortable summer temperature for you? Do your meds make you heat sensitive and affect that number?

In the early morn' and it's 45dF. When I was on meds I never had heat exhaustion or heat stroke so I didn't become noticeably more heat sensitive.

What sort of things do you do outside of meds for your mental health?

Partner lost libido after menopause, but I still enjoy an orgasm every now and then. They seem to release the fog in my head.

What is the most memorable physical event (flying, etc.) you've ever had?

Well actually the most memorable intense moment I had wasn’t very physical. I mean in a way it was very physical and very meaningful. I was was standing on the edge of a cornfield and the most intense feeling of contentment and peace washed over me. I was 9. I’ve never forgotten that moment not even flying in a small plane or hot air balloon could surpass that feeling. It happened once more in my life, I was a freshman at college and out on an away trip with the rugby team, after the game we went up to a park above some cliffs. I wondered off on my own and was once again hit by this incredible feeling of peace and contentment. It was so awesome.

Have you ever had a manic moment of feeling you understood the whole universe

Nah. Manic me trying to understand the universe is more "it could be this, or this, or this, or that, and this other thing, and no one's talking about any of these things!"

Does the weather affect your moods or emotions? I mean more on a day to day basis rather than seasonal, like for example when we get T-storms I get all hyper and excited.

Not that I've noticed. I guess I do feel better when it is cooler outside and I can bundle up in a nice warm hoodie. I feel calmer and safer when I can wear more clothes. Which makes sense since I'm also quite attached to a weighted blanket. I love fall because of that.

What is your favorite seasonal fruit or vegetable?

Are there fruits/vegetables that aren't seasonal? Unless you import them or grow them inside I guess. I'll go with locally grown outside seasonal and say peaches.

If you could hop into any book you'd like, which book and which character?

I’d hop into the Thursday Next series and be her side kick, who wouldn’t want a dodo as a pet?

Ever just want to walk around being irreverent and solitary a law unto yourself?

ALL THE TIME! So much freedom in that.

Do you feel more symptomatic at night?

Yes. I get more anxious at night and I think depression is worse then although I am not sure of that. Hypo is definitely worse at night.

Are you happy with your sleep schedule and quality/quantity of sleep?

I am definitely not happy with it. Mostly because I have only been averaging about 5 hours, which is crazy. But I am up and functioning, which is crazy too.

Do you feel that you have made progress in dealing with your bipolar over years?

Yes but it took many years for that to happen. I was diagnosed in 2002 and really didn't make progress until 2016 when we got the meds right. But now I can have a rough time with symptoms and it's easily handled with therapy and med changes. For the other 14 years I was pretty much a constant mess. Now I'm just a mess in the winter but a smaller mess.

Same question

I already answered this one so I won't answer twice.

What is the best job or the worst job you ever had (or both)?