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  #976  
Old May 03, 2023, 04:02 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Welcome back Blue Bird 🐦
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #977  
Old May 03, 2023, 05:21 PM
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Does anyone ever feel like their brain is especially slow moving when coming out/coming down from a manic episode? I feel like I have nothing to say half the time the past few days, like I can't think or my brain isn't moving fast enough since restarting my meds. I worry that I'm boring my boyfriend because I haven't been super talkative like I was when manic (among other things, impulsive, hypersexual, reckless etc) I'm just worried that my regular self is too boring.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #978  
Old May 03, 2023, 06:44 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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I’m doing ECT on Monday. The scheduling woman lightly admonished me for stopping too soon and made me promise to listen from now on haha. I emailed me boss and HR to let them know I’ll be out once a week probably through the end of the school year, since there’s only six weeks left of school.

Today I fear the lexapro is swinging me the other way. I’m completely wired. But not in a good way. In a “I wanna punch people in the face” way. I’m feeling pretty good now but very restless. I should have gone to the gym but it’s miserable out and I didn’t want to go back outside. I’ve been doing chores around the house, all the stuff I couldn’t do while depressed. Still didn’t eat much today but I’m working on it. I did go for a short walk this morning but it was awfully cold so I didn’t stay out.

I hope I sleep tonight. Seroquel usually takes me out so let’s hope.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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  #979  
Old May 03, 2023, 07:16 PM
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Scooter9 Scooter9 is online now
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosi700 View Post
What do you mean by SH thoughts. Is it suicidal thoughts? If so, please be careful! If you mean "Self Harm" thoughts please be careful with that as well. If it was the last, give yourself a pat at your back and acknowledge your effective stopping of those thoughts. Well done!
Yes, self harm. Thanks for your words of encouragement!

I managed to avoid SH again today. One step at a time.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS)
* Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal

My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016.
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  #980  
Old May 03, 2023, 07:19 PM
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Scooter9 Scooter9 is online now
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I've been awake since 3am when I couldn't sleep anymore. I worked on some writing and distracted myself.

I submitted my paperwork for long term disability. I will find out if I'm approved next month.
__________________
* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS)
* Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal

My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016.
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  #981  
Old May 03, 2023, 07:33 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is online now
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
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Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!
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schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #982  
Old May 03, 2023, 07:42 PM
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Pinny Pinny is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!
Yay! Congratulations @HALLIEBETH87
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  #983  
Old May 03, 2023, 07:44 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
Congratulations @HALLIEBETH87 ! You’ve come a long way and worked so hard through everything! Be proud of yourself!
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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  #984  
Old May 03, 2023, 08:01 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Does anyone ever feel like their brain is especially slow moving when coming out/coming down from a manic episode? I feel like I have nothing to say half the time the past few days, like I can't think or my brain isn't moving fast enough since restarting my meds. I worry that I'm boring my boyfriend because I haven't been super talkative like I was when manic (among other things, impulsive, hypersexual, reckless etc) I'm just worried that my regular self is too boring.
I once said that to a pdoc I had and he told me the people around me were probably glad I was boring because it’s exhausting to keep up with mania.
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird, Rosi700
  #985  
Old May 03, 2023, 08:11 PM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is online now
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It finally got fixed. So I didn't get my SSI check till today. I had been completely kicked out of the system. They didn't know how many months it would take to fix. Thankfully it wasn't that long.
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Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
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  #986  
Old May 03, 2023, 09:37 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Congratulations HallieBeth!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD.
Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily
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  #987  
Old May 04, 2023, 05:07 AM
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Aurelius710 Aurelius710 is offline
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Never fails. I haven't been able to sleep at all tonight, with an 8am doctor's appointment coming. This one's with an ENT to finally discuss the partial voice loss from January. 5 Hour Energy it is!
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"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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  #988  
Old May 04, 2023, 06:15 AM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Yup. Totally wired. But happy today. I slept but woke up a couple of times for an hour each time.

I feel like I could run miles. I can’t run. I wanna take a walk but it’s quite cold and dreary out. Don’t have time for the gym. Work should be interesting.

I knew this would happen with an SSRI but no, don’t listen to the patient or anything. **** off.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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  #989  
Old May 04, 2023, 09:17 AM
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Rosi700 Rosi700 is offline
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Location: At the coast.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Anyway I’m back on my meds and am doing okay now.

Good to hear!
__________________
Never forget to structure your days! Be responsible: Paddle your own canoe in all circumstances!
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
  #990  
Old May 04, 2023, 09:20 AM
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Rosi700 Rosi700 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter9 View Post
Yes, self harm. Thanks for your words of encouragement!

I managed to avoid SH again today. One step at a time.

Wonderful!
__________________
Never forget to structure your days! Be responsible: Paddle your own canoe in all circumstances!
Thanks for this!
Scooter9
  #991  
Old May 04, 2023, 09:22 AM
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Rosi700 Rosi700 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by halliebeth87 View Post
last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
graduation!

Congrats!
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Never forget to structure your days! Be responsible: Paddle your own canoe in all circumstances!
  #992  
Old May 04, 2023, 09:45 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,172
The stress is extreme during my visit to the US to help my sister and soon attend our dad's and brother's funeral and reception. The vultures are already approaching us wanting some of their belongings and property for low cost (both) or even free (belongings). My sister is very acquiescent and naive. I will confess to also trying to influence her, but more as a counter to others' greed or clear bad advice. Her husband is the epitome of bossy, bellowing, and foolish with BPD outbursts. What he orders her to do, she often does against her own better judgement. He's manipulative and is often doing the "Don't leave me! Don't leave me! You're going to leave me." Then she has to constantly say, "No, no, no." He's also a verbal abuser. I can't stand his stuff! I hate that he is involving himself. I confess to partially blaming him for my youngest nephew's death. It's hard to even be civil around him, but I am. I've disliked him from the very start, even when I was 14 years old. I wish she would leave him, but she won't. Hubby and I assume Stockholm Syndrome on Sis' part. He always refuses any therapy. Sorry for the venting.

All throughout this, I've the feeling that my living abroad makes many people act like I don't exist. There are also people showing up asking for things who say they never knew I did. That doesn't hurt that much, other than some who know who I am. My greatest support, besides Sis, has only been my husband's closest family. I accept that since my family has mostly died off or is far away, rarely seen, that my home now really is in Czech Republic.

So stressful that even Hubby and I are having fights. We need to cool off. And I say "we". He's my only support here.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar type 1

Psych Medications:
* Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg
* Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg
* Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg

I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 04, 2023 at 10:31 AM.
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  #993  
Old May 04, 2023, 09:54 AM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Wow, I really can’t go anywhere now without running into someone from the senior center. Today I had to get my blood labs for my doctor appointment tomorrow. Sure enough ran into someone. I feel nostalgic for the days when I was anonymous.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #994  
Old May 04, 2023, 11:02 AM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,527
Bipolar Check-in #74
__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #995  
Old May 04, 2023, 12:08 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
Last assignment of undergrad is done! Two days til
Graduation!
Congratulations!!!!
  #996  
Old May 04, 2023, 12:13 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Location: USA
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Feeling lonely and disconnected today. That’s rare for me and very painful when it happens. I have to be on guard when this happens because it’s easy for me to make unwise decisions and bad choices in that state.

Went to water aerobics today and back to sit by the stream in the sun. I think it’s supposed to rain over the next 7 days. I’ll enjoy it while I can.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.
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  #997  
Old May 04, 2023, 12:15 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,574
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
The stress is extreme during my visit to the US to help my sister and soon attend our dad's and brother's funeral and reception. The vultures are already approaching us wanting some of their belongings and property for low cost (both) or even free (belongings). My sister is very acquiescent and naive. I will confess to also trying to influence her, but more as a counter to others' greed or clear bad advice. Her husband is the epitome of bossy, bellowing, and foolish with BPD outbursts. What he orders her to do, she often does against her own better judgement. He's manipulative and is often doing the "Don't leave me! Don't leave me! You're going to leave me." Then she has to constantly say, "No, no, no." He's also a verbal abuser. I can't stand his stuff! I hate that he is involving himself. I confess to partially blaming him for my youngest nephew's death. It's hard to even be civil around him, but I am. I've disliked him from the very start, even when I was 14 years old. I wish she would leave him, but she won't. Hubby and I assume Stockholm Syndrome on Sis' part. He always refuses any therapy. Sorry for the venting.

All throughout this, I've the feeling that my living abroad makes many people act like I don't exist. There are also people showing up asking for things who say they never knew I did. That doesn't hurt that much, other than some who know who I am. My greatest support, besides Sis, has only been my husband's closest family. I accept that since my family has mostly died off or is far away, rarely seen, that my home now really is in Czech Republic.

So stressful that even Hubby and I are having fights. We need to cool off. And I say "we". He's my only support here.
I’ve thought of you often and prayed for your family and for you that you come through this in one piece. I send gentle hugs and supportive vibes.
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  #998  
Old May 04, 2023, 01:17 PM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is offline
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Location: USA
Posts: 6,607
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
I once said that to a pdoc I had and he told me the people around me were probably glad I was boring because it’s exhausting to keep up with mania.
My husband has said that to me about mania too. He said I'm exhausting when I'm manic. Lol
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
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  #999  
Old May 04, 2023, 01:45 PM
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FooZe FooZe is offline
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The new thread is here: Bipolar Check-in #75
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Views: 36816

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.



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