Bipolar Check-in #75

I was having a good day until I read this article about how they are thinking about making gabapentin a controlled substance 😡. I take 800mg of the stuff four times a day. And if I don't take it I have nightmares! I absolutely CANNOT go off my gabapentin and knowing my luck, if they do make it controlled, I'd get an IP doctor who would take me off it cold turkey.

Ugh!!! So mad!!!!

I already take 40mg of diazepam scheduled. I don't want to be on TWO controlled substances.

Anyway. Other than that I'm good . Got some Journaling and novel work in this morning. Slept in until 4:00AM. The seroquel increase seems to be helping my sleep for the most part. Still have been having nights where I wake up at around 1:30AM and can't fall back asleep. But I think it's just because I'm excited to write

Oh, and I hope everyone is having a good day

I'm doing a lot better today. We have repair guys doing work and it is loud. Yet I still managed an hour long afternoon nap thanks to my noise cancelling ear plugs.

My stomach feels better too and I slept a long time last night without any melatonin. I've lost 4 pounds since starting the ulcer med on Tuesday.

I'm glad I got rid of Facebook so I can avoid all the obnoxious May The 4th memes and people who think they are being funny. I'm also glad I can't go anywhere so I don't have to listen to the Star Wars theme song every other song on the radio. It really annoys me how people still think they are being original when they say it.

These chubby whiny Taylor Swift fans probabIy don't have a clue who Cher is.

Eh, just a rant.

In my state gabapentin isn't controlled but it is some level below that where they monitor it. However I've never had trouble getting mine (1800 mg/day) and my dose has been going up nearly every month lately and my pdoc is fine with that. So at least here it's not a problem yet. I hope that stays true for others. I don't think they even have evidence that it is addictive. I'll ask my pdoc next time I talk to her.

I think maybe they monitor how much the provider is prescribing? So if they are prescring 3200 mg to everyone they look into that but not general usage?

I hope you manage to get the medication you need @raspberrytorte

I’m so tired today, I didn’t sleep well last night.

This weekend is going to be so tough, I’m working.

I just need to get through until Monday morning then I’ll be good.

I hope you’re all having a good day

Congrats @HALLIEBETH87 , you've come a long way!

I had a tough workout today at the gym. I couldn't really do my cardio after my main workout because I was so tired. But I'm slowly becoming stronger.

I had a rough night - I slept for 3 hours, got up for a couple of hours and managed to get back to sleep again, but it wasn't restful.

It's a small thing but a big deal for me, I called and cancelled a subscription today. I get super nervous on the phone and cancelling things is hard for me, but I did it!

Thanks @Rosi700 for your encouragement.

I know what you mean scooter about phones. I had to make two calls today. Not to cancel but to sign up and to deal with a question on my car insurance. Usually if I can’t do it online or in person I don’t do it. Boy two phone calls in one day!

Today was rough. I was so wired that I was super irritable and restless. The students drove me nuts, just their voices were making me mad. The one nonverbal boy got so mad that the iPad wasn’t working that he screamed at the top of his lungs for a half hour straight AND hit me in the face. He gets aggressive when he doesn’t get what he wants and he’s HUGE. He’s only seven but only maybe a head shorter than me and a good 100lbs. At least. Normally I don’t mind but I was just so irritable that I kind of yelled at him. That’s never helpful, the key to calming an aggressive student is to become calmer yourself to counteract. At least that’s what I’ve found.

I faked a dr appt and left 45 minutes early.

I’ve been doing squats, lunges, and lifting weights. I just can’t keep still. The weather was cold and rainy but the sun came out for a little while when RS got home so we went for a walk. I walked too fast for him lol. It calmed me down a bit but I still can’t stop fidgeting. But at least I don’t have music looping through my head and my eyes don’t feel like they’re darting all over the place yet. And I’m not paranoid or hearing music. I think as long as I can keep sleeping this won’t get too bad.

Just the irritability! It’s maddening!

Woo! My workday is done! Granny is making me
Grumpy. I just wanna be happy. She’s such a downer sometimes

I looked it up. In my state it's below a controlled substance. I'm sure I'm just being overly paranoid about. I know my pdoc won't take me off it. It's just if I end up IP again I'm worried about it. Sigh.

May the 4th be with you Nammu.

Happy Star Wars Day!!!!!

I am envious about writing!

I also take 1200 mg of Gabapentin to ameliorate EPS effects of antipsychotics and I simply cannot be without Gabapentin. I know my pdoc will continue prescribing it even if it becomes a controlled substance, but I share in your indignation. Gabapentin has so many uses and should be available for people who need it without them having to jump through hoops.

Soooooooo annoyed! Friday night after work and all I want to do is go home and relax for the weekend but nooooooo my bloody car battery is flat and my car won’t start.

Oh no! Did you manage to get someone to give you a hand to jump start it?

I hope so!

@Soupe du jour I feel sorry for you right now! Your sister's husband doesn't seem attractive. I understand that you feel the way you do. Hope the funeral goes well (I mean it is not "only" the grief to be handled, but the circumstances as well).

I am glad that you feel that you have a real home in the the Czech Republic. It will be good for you to come back there when all this is finished. You will still have the grief over the loss of a father and a brother of course, but may be that "work" is done best at home. Please remember: It is not worth the prize of cuareling with your husband about things you cannot change (goes both ways).

Send my best wishes for you and your husband!

(Please excuse any spelling mistakes. I am still in Spain and have no access to a spell checker).

Visited the ENT doc yesterday. She attempted to do the whole scope up the nose and down the throat thing, but I had a trigger happy gag reflex making things difficult. What she was able to see didn't show anything obviously wrong, so her running hypothesis is GERD.

I'm not denying it could be and I've had reflux before, but not like this. There's no real connection between food and symptoms and indeed the big symptoms only seem to occur when I'm in bed laying flat. At the moment, she wants me to keep taking Prilosec for at least a month and get back to her if things haven't changed.

Got my weekend planned! Tonight, the drive-in is going to show Smokey and the Bandit (they ran into licensing issues over American Graffiti). I'll probably make an appearance. Saturday night, there's a concert happening that my band promoter friends are well... promoting. I'll just have to purchase my ticket. I'm excited!!

Yes.

My pharmacy is already a butt hole about me picking up my meds the day before I need them (I get them bubble packed). I can't imagine the butt holes they'd be if they made gabapentin a controlled substance too! They'd probably make me wait until the day of! Ugh. But my pharmacy sucks and I'm thinking about switching.

Aww that sounds rough! I’m so sorry they make it so difficult for you

I’m working tomorrow night and Sunday night ( ) but I’m off Monday day and Tuesday day.

My friend is having a baby shower next month. I’ve never been to one but I’m helping organise it. I don’t really know her friends so I’m a bit anxious, but I’m sure it will be fine.

I attended a book club this eve. It was really enjoyable. I’ve never been to one before but it was so nice to connect with people and express views.

I hope you’re all doing well

Oh, Pinny a book club sounds nice. I’m sure the baby shower will turn out fine.

Had my yearly check up. Ohhh shudder. I dislike my dr. The whole time he addressed the interpreter not me. Asked her how many times a year I gave blood, was tempted to let her try to answer! He totally ignored me. I have no faith in him, but he did agree the high white blood count was just an abnormality that could be followed up with a later blood draw. Everything is fine, all my levels except the white blood count and the iron was in the green. My iron is high but as I give blood every 6 weeks not an issue. And I have no symptoms of any kind needing to worry about the high white blood cells. No fever, no rash, no fatigue, no weight loss. So I’m fine till next year. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Plus he was wearing a mask. Nobody wears masks anymore. It’s rude to wear a mask around a deaf person. But no matter, it’s over. I see my pdoc in June. But he’s much better. Knows how to work with interpreters. If my anxiety gets worse I can always email him too.

Thank you Nammu. I’m so sorry about your experience with your doc. That sounds… cold.
That’s so bizarre they addressed your interpreter!
I hope your anxiety doesn’t get worse!
Lots of hugs

I'm feeling just blah today. I was so bloated this morning I could barely button my pants. My stomach and head hurt all day. I got my first bloody nose as an adult. I felt this weird pain in my right nostril and I pressed on it and blood started coming out. I got a kleenex in time. Now I'm just super tired and we had a minor crisis which was fixed in about an hour. The workers were here again so there wasn't anything to do. The neighbor guy got pissed at them for making so much noise so early and waking him up and he yelled at them. They didn't seem to care. Angry neighbors make me nervous though. Especially in these times. But yeah I'll probably just have a sandwhich and try to get to sleep semi early.

Gabapentin is a controlled drug here in Tennessee but there’s no reason to worry you will be taken off it. It’s a medication that could be abused but doesn’t happen to everyone. Breath

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