Bipolar Check-in #74

Here's a new thread since we hit 1000 posts.

Thank you so much.

Thanks Rainbow

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Ok, I’m all caught up.

Today I had my oil painting class. Ehh it turned out passable. Not a roaring success but passable. The different styles were fantastic. People they really know how to turn a general instruction into a variety of individual styles. The lone gentleman, was quite good. I really liked what he did. Very unique. The lady next to me was very cubist. It really was eye opening how the same picture and the same instructions could be so wildly interpreted. The 5 hours went by so quickly.

Then when I left it was snowing and at the same time the sun was shining! Brrr 🥶 it’s so cold today. Subzero temperatures windchill. I’m now in my chair under a blanket with a poncho my daughter gave me, drinking hot chocolate. Brrr 🥶

It’s nice being old, I don’t worry about things the way I used to. Even ten years ago I would have worried how bad my art was instead of just enjoying it and marveling on the different interpretations. I would have been constantly comparing and finding myself wanting. And feeling insecure and intimidated. Instead I enjoyed myself and chatted with those nearest me.

I feel so calm today. I love Lybalvi lol

I’m completely over flu and pneumonia. My muscular strength and respiratory strength aren’t there yet. It takes very little to tire me or get me out of breath. For you who know me, I do so much better when I stay productive and active. I’m slipping into a depression. Could be that or cutting out Lithium and Vraylar or both factors. Going to get a good night’s sleep tonight and hopefully start fresh tomorrow.

I made plans to meet daughter in Gatlinburg in mid April and meeting for breakfast next Sunday.

This weather is crazy - up and down and sideways and whatnot.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Much love

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu ... It’s nice being old, I don’t worry about things the way I used to. ...

I agree. Getting older has many advantages. Something I do notice, though, is that far too many older people carelessly become mean. When we stop caring how we treat others it seems to me that life becomes rather meaningless.

My current favorite store is tj maxx…I went today. I might go tomorrow for the hell of it. Just fun.

I’ve been packing and cleaning since 6:30. It’s now 5pm and I’ve just sat down on my bed. My feet are sore. I’m on track though for where I wanted to be so that’s good.

Gotta figure out a schedule for each day this week - which rooms I want to tackle and stick to it.

The more furniture I move around the more dust I find so there’s going to be more cleaning involved than I originally thought.

Back to the drawing board with this planning schedule.

Does anyone else not care really if we were to get nuked or something by China or Russia? Like I am not S at all or even really all that depressed, but like if someone else were to do it for me then I wouldn't really mind that.

So good!

I agree!

I think you are telling that you may be a little fed up with your life's circumstances. Sometimes we all are! That is to be human.

I think we have to live in the times we are living in, now. I mean of course I sometime think about when/if the Ukraine war will spread. But I try to not let it occupy my days. One of my relatives died in WWII. Just as he didn't know that his life would end in that war, we don't have to worry too much about our lives.

If atom bombs are used, I hope it will go quick, because pictures of living people from Hiroshima after the bomb look awful.

I feel better today! Pain mostly in my left arm and it hurts to try to stretch it out, but this condition is almost like a blessing compared to yesterday's pain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosi700 I feel better today! Pain mostly in my left arm and it hurts to try to stretch it out, but this condition is almost like a blessing compared to yesterday's pain.

Rosi, do you think you might have fibromyalgia?

I’m so glad you went to the painting class. That sounds like so much fun! I’m glad you had a good time, it is interesting how different people have different styles of painting and the same painting can come out very different for every person

I struggle with the perfectionistic thinking in my artwork/painting etc. I hope someday that gets easier. But I do love it and it relaxes me a lot so that’s what matters

Hot chocolate under a blanket sounds good too!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Does anyone else not care really if we were to get nuked or something by China or Russia? Like I am not S at all or even really all that depressed, but like if someone else were to do it for me then I wouldn't really mind that.

Your feeling reminds me of something Vincent Van Gogh wrote. Something like, I do not seek death, but if it comes I will not resist.

But he also wrote
"It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.”

I finished one of the miniatures yesterday. I listened to music while I painted and it really relaxed me. Yesterday I was struggling a lot with dissociation, anxiety; panic , and some negative thoughts.

Today I have to go to the store to buy some cat litter and stuff I need. Not feeling up to it but I know a walk will be good for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I finished one of the miniatures yesterday. I listened to music while I painted and it really relaxed me. Yesterday I was struggling a lot with dissociation, anxiety; panic , and some negative thoughts. Today I have to go to the store to buy some cat litter and stuff I need. Not feeling up to it but I know a walk will be good for me.

That's beautiful, Birdie! You've brought him to life!

I hope the walk is just what you need

I hope your strength comes back soon, it’s good to see you. I hope you enjoy your breakfast with your daughter . Gatlinburg looks beautiful!

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Sometimes I feel like that, when not depressed or anything.

I just feel like I have to focus on what I can control in my life and if that happens it happens. I can’t control everything in the world.

I also sometimes feel like I wouldn’t mind if it happened because life feels like too much sometimes, even though I’m not technically depressed right now sometimes it would feel nice the idea of it all stopping; just oblivion.

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Yesterday was a heck of a day. For me personally, it was fine. No more stressful than any other day. The "fun" came from at least two coworkers being stressed to a concerning level. Whatever was preoccupying their minds and winding them up was causing them to make mistakes which wound them up more. No freak-outs, but I had to do a bit of babysitting which is not a natural state for me.

Sunday service today with my mom. Beyond that, my day is free!!

Thank you, the walk was good but hard , I carried two bags of litter (totaling 14lbs) and some other stuff almost a mile home so that was like a work out lol

I hope you come back/ be active here again someday and I will miss you

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I think I've just been watching too much news. I've had CNN on since yesterday morning. I finally turned it off just now. I was getting really frustrated last night for some reason. I woke up at 1:30 and I was getting tired of my music. I found a couple new songs that may do. Finally I was getting tired so I put on Dark Side Of The Moon and as normal it did the trick and I was asleep almost instantly and I didn't wake up until the album ended and by then it was almost 6AM. I have therapy in tommorow. Maybe spilling my guts to her will help. Although I still am not 100% sure what I am upset about.

Some of those GIFs are.... ew.... and some are downright wrong.

I had a bottle of apple cinnamon apple cider vinegar and an Atkins bar for lunch. I feel better mental health wise although I know these are behaviors my therapist wouldn't approve of. She was kinda cranky last week at the lack of food I had eaten before our session.

Hey *Beth* you’re an active member here and no one wants to see you leave.

How about the ignore feature whilst you practice self care?