Dealing with acceptance

My parents kept my diagnoses of bipolar depression from me since high school and the past two years I have been experiencing horrible manic episodes and have lost so many relationships, jobs and time. I came to my mom recently telling her I need help and I dont understand why this keeps happening when I know what I'm doing wrong, I just dont know why I cant stop impulsivly making these decisions. She told me everything and she assumed I was managing my regular bipolar symptoms without medication but knew this would be a possibility once I got into my mid 20s. I'm seeing someone for treatment and joining groups. But if I had known about my illness things could have been so different. It's still so hard to accept everything I have done and think about the what ifs. I just started school again and don't even know how to focus after finding this out. I'm already in a personality crisis from seeing myself change so much from the constant manic episodes that I'm scared of how I will become once I'm on medication. I know it is all for the best and it takes time but for right now the endless thoughts are so suffucating. Sorry for the long explination, its hard when no one I know can relate to what I'm going through.

It is a shame that your mother hid this info from you.
I am hoping the you do well on meds.
please learn from books there are many out there to read.I even think there is one for bipolar for dummies.goggle it or find it on amazon.

good luck in your journey to better mental health.
bizi

Welcome, insciencewetrust! You are in good company here. I've lost a lot to mania, too, especially relationships. Hopefully you will respond to medication and lead a successful life.

Welcome to the forums! Sorry your mom hid things from you, but the important thing is you're getting the help you need now. Like Jane said, you're in good company here, we understand what it's like to lose to this disorder

Welcome to the group-I am sorry you are going through so much suffering right now. We are all hear for you!

I also lost a lot to manias in the pust but for the last 5 years have been doing fine on well-fitting medication.

I recommend the approach called Social Rhythms and Personal Relationships Therapy for bipolar. It is evidence-based. It has helped me immensely on top of medications.

great post tart cherry jam!
bizi

Hold on. You've made it this far. Making small steps eventually add up and you'll get where you want to be. Won't be easy but will be worth it



Very cool... Love that. I want to try that after reading about it