Bipolar Check-in #82

Day was okay but I’m still finding work stressful. I’m going to have a lot of marking next week as most classes are doing assignments

I got the test results that my Pdoc ordered in my portal. Not good. Several values are high. I want my liver dr to tell me what they mean. I hope I don’t have to go off Vraylar. I hate waiting till Wednesday to see my Pdoc! It seems so long from now.

I am so anxious. I fell asleep way past the time I take my meds. My schedule is like 10PM-10AM. I fell asleep at 9 and now its 4 and I'm really anxious. I still just feel overall "weird"

I slept pretty well last night except my cat started jumping and walking all over me around 2, 2:30 AM, fell asleep again and woke up around 5 AM, anxiety is low this morning, mood is pretty good, walked and jogged too much this morning but I was feeling good. Pdoc did increase my buspirone last week but it was a small increase, IDK but I get feeling pretty darn good and happy these past few days. I haven't really done anything too rash, maybe too much exercise and in the dark outside. Still was able to read fine yesterday though.

I'll see how today goes, don't really want to have to drop back down to the old dose of buspirone since it seems my anxiety is much better lately.

I’m feeling a bit down today. I work hard to keep a positive attitude and to look for new opportunities but tbh it’s not a level playing field to those who don’t have mental illness. My life is vastly different to those in my family that work hard and play hard. I saw a chart recently from 1 to 10 that showed you how high your quality of life was. Mine was pretty low despite my efforts to the contrary. I’m just not feeling peppy today although I know I have plenty of blessings in my life.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day

I'm feeling pretty good today. I vacuumed and scrubbed soap scum off the bathtub. That soap scum was a tough job. I will probably have sore arms tomorrow from doing that. Housework can give you quite a workout!

I really, really wish I had my car here b/c I want to go to Starbucks SO bad even though I just went yesterday, but H & daughter took my car this morning because she has a meetup for school and my car has the better AC. I have H's Jeep here, but I haven't driven it in awhile and the stupid Jeep does not have drinkholders! I mean WTF, who designs a car without drink holders?! So no Starbucks for me

Gotta dig up lunch soon, but I haven't had much appetite lately. I've been making myself eat regularly but it's hard and it's not ED stuff.

Hopefully I'll calm down soon, at least I slept well last night, so all good there.

Ha ha blueberry I had a loaner car once when my car was in the shop, it had no drink holders either! It was some kind of muscle car. That was weird alright.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I finally got some sleep after 7 am so I’m up now at eleven. My brain doesn’t want to fire on all cylinders. Weird dreams though, really weird. At one point I was in a blood feud between two families. A little girl was dragged off. Then it switched to being in a artsy store with demons that spray painted the walls black for entertainment. There were tiny comic books and special magnifying glasses to read them. Now I need to get dressed for lunch.

I’m getting my carpets cleaned on Tuesday morning! They tried delivering my dna kit today but there was no apartment number on the package! So they’re coming back Monday. I hope it’s not when I’m in therapy! Talked with liver dr. Liver enzymes are improved!

I'm feeling a lot better. I just had to get my meds into my system and then go back to bed for a bit. I woke up at 7:15 feeling fine. I pushed myself and went to the donut shop and got a blueberry frosted donut. Then I went to the grocery store to look for the new Mountain Dew and I got a bunch of beef jerky including some jerky chew that is like fake tobacco chew kinda. After that I went to Platos Closet but I didn't find anything. I came home and I made a protein shake and I feel decent right now. I've only taken one valium and I am a bit off track with my Geodon but I don't really feel anything from it.

I went to the gym today for a not so easy workout. But at least my Fitbit is happy with my exercise.

It's really strange, my right side is usually stronger but today it's really weak. I was able to do much more on my left side.

I'm feeling really low, lower than usual. It has been like this for days now.

I'm starting rexulti tomorrow but my pdoc is being really careful with it so I'm starting at a very low dose.

Since I have been so low, I neglected my mother. My wife has been keeping in touch with her so I know she's ok, but I haven't gone to help her in a while. I'm going today though.

I’m trying to get my package/DNA kit sent to walgreens down the street. The lady I was talking to is supposed to call me back. That way, I can still go to my appointment and not have to wait 12 hours at home.

Friday the
13th has been wild! Lots happened at the Crisis
Unit. Wild day.

I counted my Geodon and I have like 2 extra. I must have missed a couple doses. I've been getting confused with my meds lately. No wonder I've been feeling weird. I need to get a pill box. I might even have one in my dresser junk drawer.

@BeyondtheRainbow I hope you feel better soon!

@raspberrytorte sadly I have no one else to go to the concert with. I don't know a lot of people and those I do know don't listen to the same kind of music as me. I hope you feel better soon and don't have to go to urgent care!

Today was a good day-overall it was a good week at work. Very busy/exhausting because of 4 extra meetings, but good. Some of my students started to come out of their shells a little more when working on our long term lab project so that was fun. I have a lot to get done this weekend, work wise and cleaning wise. My roommate is going to be gone a good chunk of tomorrow so that's the best time to clean since she never cleans.

I have been struggling with some depression symptoms this week, but that is what it is I guess.

we have a translator tablet for a trial basis at work. i used it to do a session in arabic yesterday. it was very cool. it speaks the language as well as writes it out in text

@HALLIEBETH87 that sounds really neat HallieBeth. My first job had a number of Greek and Italian people who either never spoke English or who lost their English when they developed dementia and I would have killed for something that worked better than trying to mime what I what I wanted to ask. My very first patient on my own did not speak English and was also very agitated. I remember being absolutely baffled by what I should do.

About the only thing i have to share is that i had a conversation today in which i managed to hold my own. That is, i participated in the conversation and did not allow the person to just dump on me. I just interrupted them when i felt they were hogging. It went very well. They looked a little uncertain when i interrupted them, but i'm okay with that, i have to protect myself. Overall, it was relatively pleasant and i am pleased that my new behavior was successful.

we try to have an in person interpreter but arabic is a hard language to get so we usually use the language line where someone interprets over th phone..

it was SO COOL!

It’s Saturday afternoon here and I’m feeling the Monday blues …. Crazy, right?

Went to visit my partner’s dad in hospital. He’s not doing well. 83 years young. He was meant to have heart surgery on Friday but they canceled it because he’s too sick. Keeping him in my prayers.

@raspberrytorte & @BeyondtheRainbow I hope you are starting to feel better. Being sick is no fun at all.

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I walked & jogged, showered, going to start a load of laundry soon and have breakfast. No plans really for today; H and my daughter usually sleep in on Saturdays.

I've been hyperfocused on reading lately, but that's not really such a bad thing.

Yesterday I got in the mood to bake something but I don't have all the ingredients for any sort of baking. Going to order some to come in with my next load of groceries. I never feel like baking; well, I haven't baked in several years, so I'm not sure what is up with that.

Caleb and I are going to the fed ex main building today. They said my package will be there.

Still sick. Except now I'm freezing 🥶 and my fingertips are numb and tingly. I showed my flea bites to Daughter last night and she was like, "OH MY GOD!!! Daddy and I don't have any. Why do you have so many?!" I don't know why they're eating me alive! They're leaving everyone else alone, including the cats! I don't even know where they're all coming from still because we've been vacuuming and cleaning and insecticiding like crazy! They're living off me! So I'm probably going to the doctor on Monday because I feel awful. I'm itchy and ill. I've been taking Claritin, thinking maybe I'm having some sort of flea allergic reaction, but the stupid shyt is making my anxiety skyrocket!!!!

I made the mistake last night of looking at old pictures of myself on Facebook. Before seroquel I as so thin! It kind of made me sad. Made me feel like a fat blob. I need to get off this shyt! I don't know what to do though. I'm too scared to go off it and try something new since the only side effect I'm having from it is increased hunger and weight gain (and I'm thirsty like ALL THE TIME). I guess I'll just have a discussion with new scary psychiatrist about it.

@June08

I'm so sad you can't go to your concert! 😢 I'll go with you. I like all sorts of music. 😊 Just kidding. Seriously though, if we knew each other IRL I would go with you.

raspberry, I am so sorry about your flea situation. That sounds awful! Can you call a pest control service to help? I don't know what I'd do if I had to deal with that flea situation, especially with so many biting you. I hope you get rid of them soon!

Good morning, well morning anyway. My sleep is terrible. I’m so tired I’m not sure I’m going to do anything. I have to make the soda pop jello for tomorrow’s pot luck, but other than that I’m so low energy.

Good news about my daughter’s insurance. She got her proofs in and it will be retroactive to when they kicked her off. She may go into ER this weekend cause she might have pneumonia. She’s still sick. Still has the headache.

Nammu, im so glad to hear that! What a nightmare!

I think thats a preview of what the purging of the voter rolls are gonna be like.