Bipolar Check-in #82

So tired and lethargic today. Just walking takes a huge amount of effort. Energy levels gone. I'm not mentally depressed, but it feels like my body is depressed today.

After another encounter (that was still satisfying, don't get me wrong, the sertraline side effect is just getting old) I've decided to ask to be taken off the sertraline. Life is too short for this shyt. Therapist pretty much told me that it was up to me and that if I chose to go off it to talk to scary new psychiatrist about it at my next appointment with her on October 7th.

I was doing some online research on ADs that don't cause the side effect I'm experiencing and not many showed up. A couple I've tried already and couldn't tolerate. But one I've never tried is viibryd and it comes in generic, so I was thinking about asking about that one.

Has anyone tried it?

I may make a separate thread asking about this.

Otherwise I was just going to go AD free and see how I do.

My friend stopped by and surprised me randomly with this book she got me, it's about building good habits and patterns, it's like a book/workbook written by a psychologist. I'm so excited about it! That was so nice of her to do. Also we made plans to go grocery shopping together next month

Wondering what to do with my day off. Might go get my nails done but I feel guilty having all this free time.

That's great that you got the time off! Do things for yourself, mentally as well as physically. Even an unrushed stroll makes a difference.

Ugh I just wanna sleep but hide from
Thr world
Too

You could work on building your distress tolerance so that when you go back to work you’ll be stronger

On the way home from my mental health drop-in i took the bus home with one of the women, "B." We had a great conversation! I so enjoyed it! I really feel so happy to have had such a good time and let loose with someone. She's really bright and likeable. I screwed up my courage and asked to exchange phone numbers but she said no, as she is bad at keeping in touch, but would look forward to seeing me around the drop-in. So that was a disappointment, but i'm pleased and proud of myself that i took the initiative and seized the day. Maybe we'll exchange phone numbers when she's more familiar with me. It's only the second time i've seen her there. Wow, i feel so much better about myself, for being myself for once, and expressing myself. What a relief to 'come out of my shell' as June08 puts it, and really connect with someone!

I slept from 8:30 AM to 12:30 PM. I am so tired now. Hopefully I'll stay calm tonight and sleep. My only real goal for today was to get my blood drawn for clozaril and I did that so I'm ok to just rest. I need to go to Walmart but I'm moving that to tomorrow after I've had some sleep. It will go faster if I'm not too tired to follow the rows in logical order.

I'm going to see the new house Tuesday. I wish it were sooner but it's only 5 more days and that day will be a big day anyway because it will be one more week and my therapist will be back. He's going to be mad at me for dumping the substitute but I couldn't go this week (I could now, I'm much better, but I didn't know that when I would have re-scheduled) and next week is busy. We have family coming from all over the place for a gathering here. Plus she didn't help. I realize I only gave her one chance to help but it's not my fault I got sick. We'll work it out. I just hope he doesn't think I can go this many weeks between therapy normally. I'm paying a price doing this, especially now.


Hoping to stay awake until med time (which is too early to go to sleep, I'd be awake in the middle of the night for sure)....