Bipolar Check-in #83

@Nammu

I'm sad to hear you're depressed. I don't want you to be depressed! I don't want anyone to be depressed! I'm sorry to hear the seroquel didn't help you sleep. I normally take 0mg - 200mg before bed and no matter what I only get three to five hours of sleep. It doesn't give me a hangover or anything though. I always wake up quite alert. My morning 50mg dose combined with my 50mg loxapine dose knocks me out for about an hour every morning though. Something with the combination so early in the morning I guess. I don't know. My afternoon 50mg dose doesn't make me tired, but I'm also not taking it with loxapine (just diazy and gabbies).

I hope 50mg works for you! I'm happy you got an earlier appointment to see your psychiatrist. I hope an even earlier one opens up. 🫂 ❤️ I hope you feel better soon. We all love you.

@Blueberrybook

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down as well. Like others have said I think SAD is caused from the lack of sunlight. I hope you feel better soon. Don't think even passive SI thoughts like the ones you were having. We all love you too and don't want anything to happen to you. 🫂 ❤️

Sorry if I sound gushy. I'm still so emotional. 😭

I kinda think SAD is getting to me a bit too. Theres just these slight rumblings right now.

I finally figured out I have face blindness. I didn't even recgonize Kanye West until they said who he was. Jennifer Garner can be in one commercial and I will totally not recgonize her in another.

Don't get me started on people I actually "know"

Mania is here. Time to start scaring away my friends! Oh whatever- it’s already started!

I have no memory of writing this!

I’ve decided to spoil myself and go to the hairdresser this morning. My gray roots are really coming through. I have dark brown hair. My 5 year old son asked me the other day what that was and when I said to him it’s gray hair his immediate response was no get rid of it lol

I'm very tired after being up most of last night. I didn't sleep well and didn't sleep long enough.

I tried to do some guided meditations this morning but I just couldn't get into it. My anxiety is way up again and I couldn't let the thoughts pass by while I was trying to meditate - they just kept on coming up one after the other.

I'm going to try again tonight, maybe do a sleep guided meditation and hopefully fall asleep to that.

Was just looking through the aurora images I captured on Thursday. Just reliving a nice memory even though it was just a few days ago.

I am so mad at how small Little Debbie snacks have gotten. The creme pies used to be huge. Also I used to eat the Cosmic Brownies as a sensory food because of how dense they were. Now they are all dry.

Yeah its great when I can take a shower. But I didn't do anything all day and I feel like I could use another for some reason. I feel sticky and gross. From sitting.

I am too, they have gotten insanely small over the years. They were always one of my favorite snacks. Not healthy but delicious. I loved the cosmic brownies too those were always my favorite when I was growing up.

So far, I've been able to keep my mood okay despite not having much to do. I'm allowing myself some Starbucks every day as a little pick me up. Yesterday, I sat there and read for a bit which was nice. Today, POTs is kicking my butt so I'm staying home but did pick up a drink to bring home. I missed Mass and only went grocery shopping because I had no food to eat for today. I'm annoyed/confused by these symptoms because I just got an IV yesterday, but I might have made my body angry already because I walked for the first time in awhile yesterday and did my vertigo exercises right after that.

I had a somewhat tough/annoying conversation with my mom so I hope that doesn't trigger anything. She'll argue with me about everything. I mentioned how some places are going to be closed because of the holiday tomorrow and she fought me on it. She even tried to argue with me when I told her the diocese I work for always aligns fall break with this holiday weekend as if she knows more about my job than I do. She does all of the talking whenever we're on the phone so how would she know anything about my job anyway. I'm not really looking forward to going back to my home state for Thanksgiving anymore, but I really want to/need to see my godsons.