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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,647
(SuperPoster!)
9 11.7k hugs
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#1
We're up to 1000 posts again so here's a new one. I'll link it on the old one and ask that it be closed.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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Crazy Hitch
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unaluna
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 611
3 987 hugs
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#2
I'm having a really bad day. It's been bad for a few weeks, but its culminating to a head right now. I'm fighting with my mom about me working and her wanting every penny I make. I'm struggling through very complex emotions of my past since my ex's new, but soon to be ex, husband reached out to say they are divorcing ( it's a long story why he even did but I do think his intentions were sincere. He's not trying to put me through the past... just trying to sort out his own emotions with someone who can understand). I am learning to hate being at home, I hate being at work. I hate everything and everyone. I'm acting out in wreckless ways and I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin.
Every day it just gets that much harder. I don't know what to do. I just want to give up. Give up my job, give up trying to be happy, give up everything in my life so i just can have unhappiness but without the world berating me at the same time. I'm so sick of it all. __________________ |
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Blue_Bird, Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore, Nammu, raspberrytorte
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,908
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14 57.1k hugs
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#3
Just posting this to get updates.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Crazy Hitch
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,449
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11 15k hugs
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#4
Did 30 minutes on the treadmill. It relaxed me
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Crazy Hitch, JaneOnceMore
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,706
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8 9,731 hugs
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#5
I didn't realize that there would be withdrawels to the elavil. But I'm dizzy and having light sensitivtiy and I'm really nauseated. I threw up on the way to therapy and I couldn't really concentrate today which I guess is another med withdrawel symptom. She was just shooting the breeze so much about nonsense and her lights were bothering me, I asked if we were done a few minutes early. And idk if I was kinda being abrupt or not but I needed to throw up again and I didn't want to do it in her office.
Now I'm in bed with a headache and I'm nauseated but I'm not that anxious. My moms retirement fund went way up at least.
Possible trigger:
__________________ I'm Blue Last edited by Mountaindewed; Today at 02:39 PM.. |
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Crazy Hitch, raspberrytorte
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 19,002
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#6
Terrible sleep last night. The neighbours dog kept wining really loudly outside my bedroom window but on their side of the property. Our boundary is really close. It carried on and on and on. He’s gone away and his wife works night shift so there was no one home to tell the damn dog to keep quiet. It’s a husky. It was howling at the moon or something. Eventually my partner got up to tell the dog to keep quiet. Didn’t really do much. I have a pretty uneventful day today. Seeing my gp at 1:00pm to discuss perimenopause. I bet you she’s going to make me have a bunch of blood tests first. Sigh. I know I’m in perimenopause because my period has gone from a strict 28 day cycle to at least 60 days and it’s becoming extremely light whereas it used to be heavy. I’ll update after my gp appointment.
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raspberrytorte
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 523
1 3,857 hugs
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#7
@Brentus:
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling such intense negative emotions. You sound really overwhelmed and frustrated. You've gone thru a tremendous upheaval from being unemployed to having a demanding career. Add stress from your mom and having feelings about your ex stirred-up and it's no wonder you want to escape it all. I wish i knew the words to help. One thing that helps me is spending time in nature and really trying to soak in the experience. Staying mindful and present in the moment helps. I remind myself that i am safe. Sometimes taking a few deep breaths helps but sometimes not. Journalling is sometimes helpful. Calming camomile tea helps me sometimes. But sometimes i find there's nothing to do but endure and wait for my emotions to pass. It's helpful to try and quantify it once it's peaked and notice now i feel 5% better, now 30% better, etc., until it's passed and i can carry on. Hang in there and remember all you can do is do your best. Last edited by JaneOnceMore; Today at 02:45 PM.. |
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Crazy Hitch, raspberrytorte
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,925
7 498 hugs
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#8
@Crazy Hitch - I suspect I'm in perimenopause too. My periods are still pretty regular, but they are very, very light. I haven't had any tests run yet though. The gynecologist said maybe next year he'd do some bloodwork.
@Brentus - I'm so sorry about the depression. It really is a hard thing to deal with. Has your pdoc tried adjusting/changing your medication to see if that would help? I've been reading a lot today. I get hyperfocused on it. I also made chocolate chip cookies from scratch, and I almost never bake but this is the 3rd time I've made cookies within the last 2 months. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Crazy Hitch, raspberrytorte
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Crazy Hitch
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