Bipolar Check-in #85

My appointment with the nutrionist went well. She was a bit neroutic. I don't think I was making her uncomfortable. Idk. She gave me a lot of info on what to eat and what not to eat. Shes also going to help me with my weight. It was a lot of info but she typed it all out and I took it home then spent $100 on a grocery order. But hopefully I see progress in several areas.

Therapy was fine. We just talked about my appointment and the jobs I applied to that I still haven't heard back from.

I started on 1500mg metformin today. My appetite sucks and with all these new food restrictions I'm just like blah right now.

My therapist doesn't know about the metformin still and I feel kinda like I'm in a pickle.

@Victoria'smom She's ok. She has an **** abscess and a lot of constipation because that has made it hurt to poop. She got an antibiotic shot, pain pills and Miralax. She's already doing at least a little better. When we went in her ears were really hot from fever and now they feel normal. She's had her Miralax in a special treat of canned food that she loved. She's acting a little confused and I can't get her to rest for long. That's always how she is; when she doesn't feel well she gets agitated. It's hard to watch but hopefully she'll curl up with me soon. Thanks for asking! It's been a long day (lots of laundry and cleaning with this diagnosis) plus I was up pretty much all night and didn't have a chance to even try to nap until 2:30.

Had my eye doctor appointment. Had to get my first pair of bifocals and found out that I'm developing cataracts in both eyes, but he said they won't fully develop and need surgery for another fifteen years. Great. Getting old is SO MUCH FUN. I still have to schedule my stupid mammogram. Haven't been able to pick up my anemia meds because they're "taking longer than expected" and are "delayed" (that's what the CVS website says). I'm assuming that just means they didn't have them in stock and have to order them. Whatever. I'll call tomorrow if it still says that and see what's up. I just hate calling them because of the stupid electronic voice! I get so mad at it! I start shouting and shyt (Daughter finds this amusing).

@BeyondtheRainbow

Happy to hear your kitty is doing better! It's always hard when they're sick.

@Mountaindewed

Why can't you tell your therapist you're on metformin? It's not that big of a deal. I take 2000mg. My therapist is actually on it too. Lol.

I’m getting another cat soon. One of my neighbors is in the hospital with congestive heart failure and she is no longer able to keep her cat. So the building management asked me if I can take him, because they know I love cats and I have a 3 year old cat and my other cat mocha passed away in November. So I’m going to be getting a new addition within the next couple days. It’s a male cat and he’s about 1 years old.

@raspberrytorte I've been on it for 3 weeks without her knowing about it and she kinda freaks out whenever I talk about weight loss because of my ED history. I feel like telling her I started a med for weight loss 3 weeks ago would be weird or dishonest or something

I think someone just got shot. Or a car backfired.

I'm hearing the sirens now

My therapist kept pulling up her shirt during the session because the girls were out a bit. She thought I didn't notice.

Therapist tomorrow. Follow up from the ER on Thursday.

I’m so sorry. Mania is a cruel disease. You will recover and do even better.

Mood wise, I felt really, really good today. I haven't felt this good since I was on lithium (had to stop it because my stomach couldn't handle it). My face was still twitching this morning so I did message my pdoc because the pharmacist made it sound like these symptoms were an urgent matter. But, based on how my pdoc responded, that doesn't actually seem to be the case. So, I feel a little bad for messaging him when I could have just waited it out. He did prescribe Benztropine to help counteract the muscle twitches, but I don't plan on taking them. First, I want to see if it goes away on it's own when I'm not taking seroquel every day. And, if it's only minor twitching that easily goes away whenever I'm done with a prn dose, I'll just deal with it. I'll still pick it up to have on hand though.

I already had to go to the pharmacy today, but I'll have to go back tomorrow (or whenever it's ready) for this. It was immediately after I got home from the pharmacy that I got a message from my pdoc and a notification from the pharmacy about the new prescription-oh well.

It was a good day at work. Got a lot done because the students had independent work to do. Kids are starting to act up a bit, so I don't know what's up with that. They could just be retesting the waters as the second half of the school year starts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I’m so sorry. Mania is a cruel disease. You will recover and do even better.

Thank you so much Nammu! I really appreciate it. I had been struggling with myself the past few days, even though I had a good self-care day yesterday. It all feels so overwhelming.

I am looking forward to a better future though. My boyfriend emailed me a couple of times so communication is open, it will just take time. I have to just thread carefully, and most of all take care of myself.

Everyone on this thread is so kind and giving, I am truly so thankful for you all.

Having my husband take me to urgent care tomorrow morning. Mucinex is not helping this cough enough, and I don't want to get pneumonia again. Boohoo though. Hopefully they'll just give me antibiotics and a steroid like they did last year.

I fell asleep for a bit and I woke up with a legit cough and my muscles ache really bad. I'm not up to date on any vaccinations and I've been to all kinds of stores and the doctors 3 times in the last week. And I forgot to use hand sanitizer.

I'm just feeling crappy and like I did a big workout or something.

Get better soon @raspberrytorte !

@LadyShadow the future is bright for you my friend!

@Blue_Bird it’s so nice you’re getting a new cat!

@BeyondtheRainbow I hope you get a better nights rest!

@June08 I’m glad you managed to have a good day at work. Teach me your secrets because I go back soon lol

@Moose72 I hope your therapy goes well and you manage to get a good session out of it!

Had a paediatrician appointment this morning. She’s officially prescribed Ritalin for my 6 year old which I picked up today. I want to start medicating him. My partner is anti meds because his eldest son had a bad reaction to ADHD Meds. He needs to realise it’s a case by case basis. Hold thumbs for me.

You need a good nights rest

So I keep dipping lower. I used to really like coffee. I used to have 4-5 cups a day (it doesn't affect me, I can even sleep right after coffee).

Now I don't even like that much, I'm down to just 1.

I liked snacking too. Now I just eat enough to keep functioning.

I'm just not interested.

I decided to withdraw from the psilocybin trial if they don't go ahead with it this month.

I want to stop my meds, supervised, because I'm almost 300 pounds and it's causing all kinds of problems. I'm quite tall so it doesn't show much but this has gotten out of control.

I need to rant and rave quick. I apologize in advance. I feel like I'm falling apart! I'm anemic, I need bifocals, I'm in the early stages of developing cataracts, I'm fat, I have to go to urgent care so I don't develop walking pneumonia like I did last January, I have to get my boobs squished. Honestly! It's like I turned forty and someone flipped a light switch! I hate getting old. Husband said he doesn't care and that we're getting old together (he's falling apart too... lol).

I feel decent today. I have a slight cough and sore throat and some fatigue. But its not that bad. I got up around 5 and I ate 2 graham crackers with a cup of Jif To Go peanut butter. Normally I just eat the peanut butter by itself but dipping the graham crackers into it was a lot more healthy and filling.

I don't have any plans today. I did work out with my ab roller, but I am a bit under the weather.

Here he is!

@Blue_Bird Aww, so sweet! Orange boys are really special. I've had 2 and they were both the funniest, most full of personality cats ever. Both of them were so entertaining. I hope he settles in soon. What is his name?

I can already tell he has a lot of personality lol he’s very vocal. Very sweet. He’s huge the pictures don’t show it he is a large cat. His name is Papi and some people call him Garfield as a nickname. He’s my cat now but the old owner will still call to talk to him over the phone (she’s in the hospital with congestive heart failure and she’ll visit when she gets out, she’s just unable to keep him anymore

I’m hoping he gets along well with Mustachio. Mustachio has a ton of personality too and is super energetic and playful so I think they’ll be good together

I'm just laying here, resting, listening to music 🎶 and hacking up lung. The urgent care doctor was very nice. He prescribed me some anti-cough capsules and told me to keep on taking mucinex and said it was just a matter of time and I'd get better. So going to urgent care was pretty much pointless, other than getting the anti-cough capsule prescription which will come in handy tomorrow night because Daughter has an orchestra concert (she plays bass) and she's really excited about it and I don't want to have a hacking fit in the middle of it. Now I'm just waiting for the pharmacy to fill it. They said an hour three hours ago and it's still not filled. Lol.

I got a kinda confusing email from the job I wanted saying we would like to advise you that you may now be informed of job openings and if your profile meets our requirement a recruitment team will contact you.

I think thats a kinda good sign.

I went out today just to check out some stores. My agoraphobia is pretty much gone I think.

My blood pressure is 142/107. I have bad heartburn and the same slight cough and sore throat. My chest feels kinda tight. I don't feel like rushing off to the ER. I'll take it again in 15 minutes.

This morning it was 137/88

I got all my rides arranged for physical therapy and allergy. 8 appointments in the next six weeks. My regular drs office I don’t need rides for.

I'm doing well today. It was rainy out, so I did pilates, and I did a different video than usual (though it still proclaimed it was beginner's, if so, it must be advanced beginner's!). I am going to be so sore tomorrow from being in the bridge and plank positions forever!

I read with the SAD lamp, ordered groceries for curbside pickup, decided next week I will try some of the recipes listed on my grocery chain's website that look like my picky family will eat (if they don't, well, too bad, they can make a sandwich or nuke a TV dinner, I'm sick of how picky everyone is!) and having only 3 weeks of meals everyone will eat and then they complain about having everything too often (well, I'd eat a lot more different stuff, I definitely have a wider palate). We'll see how it goes.

I had to order some stuff today cat treats, bread loaf baking pans, looked at drawing books and found one I wanted used off abebooks, so I got that. Truly hope this isn't hypomanic spending, but I've been baking more, and I don't have 2 bread pans the right size I need for most bread recipes.

Then, I spent some time drawing this afternoon. I drew 3 pictures. The jellyfish is below and the other 2 in the Creative Corner forum.