Bipolar Check-in #85

Had mega trouble sleeping. After days of nice cold temps it got warm. Plus I was wired. I pulled myself out of bed at 11am and needed to be at Mayo at 12:45. Thank goodness it’s next door. The temps went down again and it’s 66 in here, perfect sleeping temp but a bit cold awake.

Got home from my T appointment and got sucked into a game of 10,000. When somebody else came I got them to take my place. I need to eat. Haven’t have a chance yet. Therapy went well.

One med is ready and one med is waiting doctors order. So I’ll pick those up tomorrow and pick out a 95th birthday card for a lady in out building. She’s a feisty one.

Shadow, welcome back. It will probably take some time to adjust but you will.

My head feels like it’s in a vice grip. I hate migraines.

Anyway, I was hoping to enjoy the rest of the day after getting back from the social security office but I can’t really enjoy anything right now with this migraine. So I’m just laying down and trying to distract myself from it with shows. I should probably draw more because I’m sure staring at a screen isn’t helping the migraine get better.

MD I have a similar reaction to matcha most times I have it. I get extremely nauseous to the point of almost throwing up. I’ve found matcha lattes don’t bother me when there’s like some sort of milk and sugar mixed in but if it’s just a plain matcha I get severely nauseous

I do really enjoy and can tolerate iced matcha lattes though

Yeah I don't get what it is with matcha. I'm fine with other iced lattes and coffee.

Yeah but matcha is green tea, so maybe you're sensitive to that. Nausea and stomach problems are a symptom of many sensitivities.

You could try green tea on its own before you've had anything else for the day to find out whether it is causing your problems. Maybe try a sip or two and see how it goes?

You mentioned other drinks which are coffee-based so you're obviously good with those.

My liver enzymes jumped up since I’ve gained 8 pounds. This is dangerously close to the highest I’ve ever weighed. I see my liver doctor soon. She wrote me a portal message with my latest liver enzymes test saying she’d see me soon and we’d talk then. And this can’t be helping my lower back. Neither can having my friend with benefits over. Every time lately I have to put a lidocaine patch on my lower back after. I’m just a mess! My physical therapist hasn’t even seen me yet and already I know she’s going to be on my case!

Productive day today - went to get my car fixed which cost an arm and a leg, but I didn't let that get me down, I got my nails done in an act of self-care for myself. I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of love and hope you gave me out of this last episode. I really miss you guys. I hope everyone has been doing well!

I KNEW there was a reason for my strange fatigue! Everyone kept on blowing me off, even my own husband, but my GP's nurse called me with my lab work results and it turns out I'm anemic! She's putting me on an iron pill to take daily, and I guess my vitamin D was low too, so she's putting me on vitamin D as well. Hopefully this helps my fatigue. 🙏 The nurse said it should.

My psychiatrist appointment went well. Increased my seroquel and wellbutrin doses. Well, the seroquel wasn't really an increase. She just asked me how often I take my prn and I said almost everyday, and she said why don't we just make that your every day dose, and I was like sure. The wellbutrin was because she asked me if it's been helping, and I said sometimes, and she said I'm on a tiny dose and we could increase it and see if that would help more, and I was like, "That would be great!" So hopefully it helps more because I'm sick of always struggling. It's driving me crazy!!!!!

Sick wise I'm feeling a tad better, just snotting all over the place. I can't stop blowing my nose. That mucinex really IS working! I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'm better by then. After the appointment I am relaxing! Except I really have to clean the apartment. It looks like a natural disaster. It's obvious I've been sick!

Its like the freaking tundra in my room. I get really cold and my mom gets uncomfortably hot. She thinks I have some medical issue. I forgot to ask my doctor. Also I'm crazy thirsty and I've chugged 4 bottles of water tonight. I'm about to go get something else. And my rash which my doctor says is acne is really itchy too. I put some anti itch spray on but I wish I had Benadryl.

One of my applications is still active. The other one is complete. Its just a waiting game now.

Well, upping my dose of seroquel to 25 mg for two days had me feeling very stable today BUT I was super restless and some muscles in my face have been twitching on and off all evening. So, since I'm feeling stable, seroquel is meant to be prn for me, and the pharmacist said to report any involuntary muscle movements asap, I'm not going take it tonight. If I still have the face twitching throughout the day tomorrow, I'll message my pdoc. It's going to suck if I have to stop taking seroquel-it has been so nice getting some good sleep.

Thankfully, as of now, the face twitching isn't so bad so I don't see it when I look in a mirror. Hopefully, if the twitching sticks around, it stays this way because teaching middle school students with a twitching face would not be fun. I also don't know what I'd tell people when they ask-I guess just be vague and say it's connected to medical stuff?

Not going to lie, I could have cried when my face started twitching. The thought of yet another med not working is practically to much to bear sometimes.

My cat has barely been out from under my bed today. She did come out to "say hi" to my pdoc on video but she didn't hang around during that like she usually does. Usually she spends most of the day laying on me as much as she can and more of the day on her climber. I'm really worried about her. I tend to get obsessive, ruminating fears about losing her (or people or friends or whatever) but this seems like it has some foundation. When she came out while I made my bed (without her help) she let me pet her for a minute and she looked ok. I'm going to have to climb around under the bed and check on her again just to be sure.

I'm not sure what else I can do besides check on her and encourage her to come out. I can't tempt her with treats because she has gotten sick every time she's had a treat lately and I can't give her tuna because fishy thing smake her sick.

If anyone needs me I'll be stuck under my bed

I made yet another appointment for my body aches for tomorrow. It could be the flu. Who knows. I’m gonna make myself go this time dam* it!

@raspberrytorte Vitamin D really helped me with energy. And bonus! I found out later: Vitamin D can help lower your breast cancer risk. I don't know how much but I know that as soon as I was classified high risk they started checking it every year and increased my dose from what I'd taken for years.

I'm really worried about my cat. She came out and ate and drank a bit but when I petted her she feels like she's lost weight She didn't eat much and really hasn't for a couple days It's normal for her to not eat a lot for a day or two and then she eats her whole bowl so I wasn't worried about that yet.. I don't know how I wouldn't have noticed that though. And she went right back under the bed. When I climbed down to check her so I can hopefully sleep she got up and moved further away where I can't touch her. Then I heard her cleaning herself wherever she thought I'd touched her. So she's got some spunk but she's definitely not herself.


I have my therapist tomorrow. I set an alarm to check on the cat in the morning and if she's still not coming out from under the bed I'm going to try to get her into the vet and move therapy. I may do it from home even if I don't have a vet appointment. I'd just worry about her anyway. Something is off. This cat is my best friend. I'm scared. She's not quite 8 so should be healthy.


I really want to wake my mom so she can tell me it's ok. But that wouldn't be very nice of me at 2:15 AM. I need to take a PRN and try to sleep. It's hard to not fight it when I feel like I need to check on her.

Got my period today. That explains part of why I’ve been so angry and irritable this past week. And the migraine I had all day yesterday. I kinda figured that was what was going on. I started tracking my period on my smartwatch now so I can be more aware of when it’s about to happen, it’ll notify me when it’s getting close.

Migraine is gone now. And I’m not angry and irritable now.

Though now I’m dealing with insomnia. I woke up at 2am and am wide awake, can’t get back to sleep. So I guess I’m up for the day. 🙄

I might need to get on birth control like for the hormone aspect of it. Because I think I have premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I’m gonna talk to my doctor about it soon

I can’t sleep either. haven’t had a period since November. Stupid perimenopause!

Cats.......after I spent the night thinking of the worst case scenarios about 3:45 she came out, sat on the cat tree for a few minutes and then jumped on the bed, purred and wanted pets and then has been sleeping between my legs. She didn't even move when I got up to go to the bathroom.

So now I'm out a night of sleep and have been through terrible anxiety and she's fine. She must have just not felt well for a while or was in a bad mood or something. I read that cats will sometimes isolate if they feel they were rejected at some point. I don't remember rejecting her but I suppose she could have thought I was.

Anyway, I think she's going to live.

I just cancelled my appointment at my drs office and made an appointment online for an urgent care near me. It’s 20 minutes earlier so I hope I can get a head start on the snow. Plus the road to my regular dr is hilly and windey. I hope they are as good this time as they were when I had Covid.

One sick kitty has a vet appointment at 10:20. I think she has a UTI. She cuddled but didn't stop licking herself for 2 hours. Now she's back under the bed. Poor thing. I'm so glad they got us in quickly.


I am so tired. I only got 75 minutes of sleep. At this point I pretty much have to stay awake until after my therapy appointment at 1. I'm doing that online because I'm too tired to safely drive to the city. I wish I hadn't taken my PRN Seroquel at 4:30. Oh well.

Nurse at primary doctors office said blood thinners plus bloody bm gets me a trip to the ER. So here I am dehydrated with an IV. I’ll be here a long time!

I'm doing okay this morning. Mood is a bit flat, but I'm hoping it will improve as the day goes on. I slept well though, 8 hr. straight, no trouble falling asleep. Had a shower, ate breakfast, used the SAD lamp and read. Pretty much my normal routine. My mom called way early, like 7:30 saying she hasn't heard from me since Christmas even though I've texted her since then. Any time I think about calling her, she is busy with helping my grandmother, church, or some other activity. Oh, well, make me feel like a guilty daughter.

Drawing was rough today, a bit impatient, but it was after my mom's call and she was a little passive aggresive today, she does that sometimes, guilts me too. I put all 3 of the pictures in the Creative Corner forum.

Still getting used to being back in a regular routine. Can't get myself into working though, everything seems so daunting. Making my bed this morning was such a chore, but I managed to do it and I feel proud of myself. They had me take an Invega shot in the hospital, and it really has slowed me down. I am thankful the insurance doesn't cover it so I can be on the regular pills of risperidone. I really don't like how I feel; I am shaking a lot.

Really missing my boyfriend too, can't believe he left me, but I guess I understand - I feel like I deserve better. I watched a video from my video diary I have on youtube and cried because I was so happy in October. How could all of this have happened like this? I lost my main job too - I feel like everything is gone.

I’ve been having trouble getting to sleep so I took extra 25 mg seroquel but it still took me awhile to fall asleep. But once asleep I slept deeply and too long. Didn’t wake up until 1 pm. So that’s gonna put me off sleeping tonight! But it was so lovely sleeping and dreaming. Good dreams.

@BeyondtheRainbow how's your cat doing?