Does anyone else here have an intense discomfort around diagnosis, medication, psych help in general? I've dealt with a lot of denial/gaslighting from family around suffering and psychological reality. It seems most in my family have a kind of superficial interest in psychology but they use what little they know to try and deny others' experiences. I was told in my early twenties not to seek help because therapists only want to get you to hate your parents. I'm much older and wiser now but I still have remnants of guilt which hold me back because even seeking some kind of understanding means acknowledging things that I'm not supposed to know. "Getting help" ends up meaning betraying some sort of unspoken ideological agreement. (Not to mention the emotional betrayal of talking about things that I'm not supposed to acknowledge really happened.)
How have people gotten over this hurdle to be able to talk and think freely about mental health?

[Crazy Hitch]

Finding the right therapist is the first step. Boy have I had crap therapists. But I’ve also had some great ones too! I found it easy to open up to my last therapist and remember it’s all confidential unless they’re subpoenaed to court which is HIGHLY unlikely. Or you’re a danger to yourself with intent. Otherwise you’ve really got nothing to fear.

[Victoria'smom]

Yes, therefore I opted for injection. I still take nightly medicine but my baseline is higher. I was always told therapist will lock you away if you're honest with them. So it took me years of therapy to be honest enough with them to help. Find a good therapist and be upfront with your concerns. My current therapist knows I know what not to say even in crisis. So she will outright ask me blunt questions because she knows I also won't lie.

As for my family they know I have appointments with therapist and physiatrist. Some of them treat me as if I'm a drug addict that needs off my medicine about half of them do. To the point they have hid my medicine on me. But the other half shrugs it off not liking it but tolerating it.

[June08]

For me, I ended up seeking counseling because of how much my mental health was having a negative impact on my life. The breaking point for me is I was only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night and was struggling with hypersexuality. I sought out a trauma therapist who, eventually, referred me to my first pdoc. This was a few years ago. My counselor was great, and helped me out a ton, but it got to the point where I chose to end counseling because I needed a break and my counselor was trying to find trauma within my bipolar symptoms, instead of just accepting my bipolar symptoms for what they were.

I don't really talk about my mental health with others though. When I was first diagnosed/hadn't found the right meds yet, hypomania had me telling a few people about my new diagnosis. I quickly stopped talking about my mental health with others though because what I had to say was often dismissed because, on the outside, I appeared to be doing fine. I had two people tell me they didn't believe my diagnosis. Since openly talking about my mental health clearly wasn't safe, I chose to just do the counseling work on my own. Now that I'm not in counseling the band Citizen Soldier, who's songs all focus on mental health, really help me express whatever is going on with my mental health at the moment.

@June08 I know this is probably a dated reference for most but I just gave a listen to Citizen Soldier and they remind me of Linkin Park. I also can really relate to therapy burnout (my words, obviously not yours). My therapist was trained in psychoanalysis, and sessions could be exhausting and retraumatizing (a word I hate using because I'm so sensitive to the people who scoff at attempts to seek help).

@Victoria'smom I've had to deal with similar judgment for getting help before (including being called a drug addict by my father). It got to the point where, like June08, I would just not talk about it with people. Currently I don't get any kind of mental health treatment but I have spent years dealing with it. My last real relationship I tried to talk about it with her but there was a similar disgust and roll of the eyes (she was struggling with actual drug addiction and refused to acknowledge it).

@Crazy Hitch, I had for many years no luck with therapy because I could barely bring myself to speak in sessions. Around 2021 or so I got referred to someone and I spent about four years with them. I've struggled with exactly what you said: the fear that confidentiality will be broken. Several times I was sure there must be people waiting for me in the waiting room so I scoped the office out ahead of time.