head is in ruins

My head is in ruins! I hate this one minute I feel happy, optimistic, then i feel sad, pissed off. I am so irritated, anxious need someone to talk to. wouldn't it make sense that when we know we're being irrational we can stop it but it doesn't! I can't stop this whirlwind of emotions. Ive had to get a bottle of red wine. I'm not diagnosed with bipolar but is this how it feels? I have battled my mind for 10 years no, only been diagnosed clinical depression as havent told doc full stroy. I am seeing tomorrow, but am nursing, just qualified as a nurse, and am scared of not getting a job. HELP!!!???

Sounds like me when I'm manic. I can't stop for the lif eof me and must go-go-go--go-go! I'm anxious and have this need to MOVE and do and I've written LONG non-sensical emails to people, talked right at them a million miles a minute.... I also feel like I need to be alone in the world- a sense of not really being in it.... and then I just float along.... I also have have hallucinations- people, buses, voices..... Or I just start bawling for no reason and basically can't stand being inside my own body. Or I'll get REALLY short-tempered.... or I'll have visions of violence. Yeah- you've reminded me to keep taking my meds.

good for you to recognize this and to ask for help.i myself too have been living with this too but you must be honest with the doc and people so that you get an honest and full treatment. i know that there are mixed up feelings that go along with this and that it is harder for us to focus on getting ahead but that's why we can not do this alone. trust the professionals and as far as the medical world goes, they should understand that this is a treatable illness and that you are doing what you can to get well. there are plenty of sucsessful people who live with this even nurses. i applaud you for being where you are at and you should give yourself a big pat on the back. i'm proud of you, i'm on my to finding my place too. it's not easy but you are not along and good luck and you can pm me if you want