[musikcrazy]

My husband is in complete denial about my bipolar disorder and we have both had it. I have given him NUMEROUS things to read on the subject, invited him to support group, and asked him to come with me to therapy and he refuses. I can't take it anymore and I am so tired of trying. He is constantly walking out when he can't handle things. He comes back after a while, but I am starting to get resentful and bitter. Any ideas?

[Slothrop]

I don't know your whole story, but the whole "runs away then comes back" thing is always a bad sign to me.

Have you done marriage counseling yet? It's worth a try, even if you can't get him to go.

It's possible that the situation is just more than he can handle. Just remember that it's not your fault...you didn't ask to be bipolar, and his limitations are his responsibility.

Does he provide stability in your life? Do you think your life would be more stable if you were on your own?

[dbowling64]

Well mine is not in denial he has lived with for 23 years with this and some days i just want to run but i don't i am 53 i was treated when i was mmmm about 29 or 30 before that i did drugs sex and rock and roll and not in that order lol i laugh about my mental illness we have to if not we will just shut down so i am here for any one that has been abuse in any way i some times just want to crawl in a hole and say f this but i don't well let me know if ther is any way i can try to explain it to you

[LoneRose]

That doesn´t sound very nice at all. Just when you need the most support he turns his back on you. You have to get help otherwise that relationship wont last.. Is he suffering with it too now? Have you sat down and really told him how it feels to you that he wont listen?

I hope you get it sorted and get the suppert you need!

[GeneticlyBipolar1]

You know, sometimes I think my husband uses my Bi-P against me, to his advantage. If I catch him in a lie or something, sometimes he will say, " you really need your medication , cause I'm telling the truth " , " your'e having a episode , or acting crazy " and later on I will find out he was lying. So that kinda makes me question my trust in him, in the marriage and my best interest. What do you all think ?

[theama]

omg my bf is the same way. If I'm depressed or suicidal, he walks out on me and just leaves me alone - or he tells me to snap out of it, or he calls me emo. If I'm upset for a valid reason, he thinks it's my disorder and says "I'm not dealing with you when you're being negative".
I've linked him to my blog, but he doesn't want to read it - and generally he's not interested in learning about the disorder.

It's so frustrating, and the thought of him walking out on me when I need him the most is petrifying - which is why I haven't committed myself fully to him.

I'm glad I'm not the only one... that's awful, cos I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, but you know what I mean.
I really don't know what to do with him.

[GeneticlyBipolar1]

Originally Posted by theama

omg my bf is the same way. If I'm depressed or suicidal, he walks out on me and just leaves me alone - or he tells me to snap out of it, or he calls me emo. If I'm upset for a valid reason, he thinks it's my disorder and says "I'm not dealing with you when you're being negative".
I've linked him to my blog, but he doesn't want to read it - and generally he's not interested in learning about the disorder.

It's so frustrating, and the thought of him walking out on me when I need him the most is petrifying - which is why I haven't committed myself fully to him.

I'm glad I'm not the only one... that's awful, cos I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, but you know what I mean.
I really don't know what to do with him.

Hey THEAMA, yeah to me, it makes me feel all alone, because since we are Bi-p or MANIC Dep. , which ever, who can we be that with ? I don't want somebody to that wants me to like " ACT NORMAL " , which I will usually, but when I'm feeling down, then I'm feeling down. And thats that. And thats when I need him you know. So I guess you are lucky, I am married with 2 kids, and thinking about divorce, because I just realized my BI-P this last month. Im facing it like. And I don't want him to hinder my improvement, or treatment. Because when he trys to trick me with my disorder, it hurts, I really feel way down, suicidal and all that , especially when I find out he was just lying and using my disorder to cover it up, it makes me feel like he's not in my best interest. You know. Later

[madisgram]

i don't have a spouse but my grown son used to make some side remarks out my bp..like, "ah mom your bp is in full gear today," etc.(sarcastic)
so sorry that your husband doesn't try to understand what you go through on a daily basis. seems like he uses that like a wedge in your relationship when he's angry or somthin'. and you've done so many constructive things to inform him...
what i did with my son worked altho i don't know if it would work with your husband cause it sounds like he lacks compassion. i told my son one day how much it hurt me that he made the side remarks about my bipolar. i said if i had cancer and was hooked up to chemo would you make an unkind remark then? i told him i didn't ask for this disorder and he was fortunate it wasn't in his own genes! so basically i was just telling him how it made me feel and then the disease aspect of it. it changed his whole attitude towards the bipolar.
have you asked your husband to go to one of your visits with the pdoc or T? i don't know if he's go but you could dscuss this with the T beforehand and ask him to explain it to your husband. then the T could be like a mediator in the setting. i fear tho that your husband would poh-pooh the whole idea cause he doesn't sound willing to understand what you deal with on a daily basis.
sorry i couldn't be more helpful but i hope your situation improves for the better. no one should have to experience this type of behavior from a loved one.