Borderline PD symptoms description

I don't either hun. I'm just now opening my eyes to all of these disorders myself. Major Depression Disorder, Bipolar II Disorder, there is a significant difference I believe. I've been trying to educate myself because for 6 year's I was lead to believe I was Bipolar I, which has mania, and I wasn't even manic! I guess that's my fault for not educating myself and expressing to the doc that I was just severly depressed.

I went to a pdoc when I was 22ish (one my mother picked for me from her "circle").

Pdoc and I spent time together and she was understanding of my history. My parents agreed to come to a family session and stormed out in the middle because they didnt want to hear what I was saying /sharing.

Later, I asked her,"is it me" because I still felt like I may have been the "irrational and crazy" one. The msgs my parents were telling me.

She looked at me squarely in the eye and said "NO."

My parents cut her out of their life and said she was crazy.

I am trying to make sense of this. It is scary to me. And I feel hideous.

A friend told me whenever she sees "ordinary people" it reminds her of my mother.

I think I need a second opinion.

My Pdoc yesterday said it was hard saying goodbye to some of his longtime patients like me. He even hugged me good bye. How could he care about me if I am this eff'd up? He has seen the good and bad over the years. I dont get it.

As far as the self injury and abandonment points, and aggressiveness and excessive anger, those dont resonate with me. And my relationships...had been fine up until my Fiance died.

I had been able to recover from every tragedy except for F passing away. That is when I really couldnt get back up.

I have a new T on Wed. I really need to speak with her about all of this.

I just learned of BPD at the age of 40 and I am terrified...Truly terrified and I don't even know why. A lot of what I read fits me to the T and that is scary because I always thought I was the normal one and everyone else just likes to push my buttons. Very frustrating. I just don't know what to do at this point. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the knowledge a lot. :-) Thank you

Don't be scared....you're not alone. There's a lot of us who thought we were "normal" who discovered we're not. And I think fear, denial, and such are part of the process. We're all in this together.

that is exactly how i feel right now but if i can hide it sometimes or sometimes think i am ok is it real??

The most hideous thing about BPD is when you feel good, you feel as though you've conquered it, that the worse it over, that you're recovering, and when you feel bad you don't remember how you felt just minutes, days before. You feel as though you are willing to do anything to get rid of the horrible pain. They are both "real" when you feel it, and it's a never-ending cycle...

Thanks for such an insightful and 'real' way to learn about the specifics of BPD. I haven't been diagnosed as such, but due to new Govt regulations - basically by monitoring medications for any mental health condition, ie anti-depressants etc such as my case - funding is provided to seek help from psychologists/psychiatrists etc (specialized as opposed to a GP) - I now have officially been diagnosed with ADHD and Depression but hasn't really got to anymore probing as such - but haven't been back to psychologist for the last appointment (you get 10) because she was no help to me in the "how do I deal with this jaw dropping moment of always thinking somethings wrong with me but never known what" side of things whatsoever. just helpful in a legal way - ie medication for the ADHD - but went from really liking this person that I could talk to without judging me, to not liking immediately from the lack of guidance etc I needed from her. ....anyway....sorry needed to just fill you in on a little history to ask my question....this explanation you've given has described me down to an absolute T, a couple of things really finalized the possibility of me having BPD - which I've only looked into (aka your blogs and others) by curiosity, when researching everywhere trying to figure out about dealing etc with my ADHD - okay here's my question - Could I have been misdiagnosed with ADHD (I have hyperactivity & inattention and was apparent as a child as required for diagnosis) INSTEAD of BPD as all my concerns, issues and behaviors all mimic both of these - OR MAYBE BOTH?? Please help me if you or anyone can relate to this or could steer me in right direction or, anything? I'm on Dexy which is really helpful and quite a Godsend for the ADHD and currently on Wellbutrin for depression - as I'm going through the motions of no anti-depressant working on me whatsoever, this is about the 6th one that I thought could be the one, but alas it isn't. Thank you and at the least thanks for listening!!

I think that description sounds exactly like me. I asked my therapist about borderline personality disorder, and she said that it is more likely that I have an attachment disorder, and that these types of disorders have a significant overlap in symptoms. I can't seem to find much information online about attachment disorders in adults. Does anyone have any insight as to the similarities and differences between these two types of disorders?

sisokie, I think that they are so similar that your therapist might just choose to call it Attachment Disorder. I don't know, of course, but I'm guessing.
It seems to me that attachment issues are a big part of BPD, so I have a hard time separating them. Maybe Attachment Disorder is more specified. It would be helpful and interesting for you to talk more with your therapist about this and the differences, and see what she says about it, and about you specifically

A lot of therapists don't want to diagnose BPD. Many are at a loss on how to treat it since it cannot be cured by drugs and traditional talk therapy doesn't always work either. Also, insurances don't always cover BPD. I think that if your therapist cannot competently explain the difference between what you have and BPD, it's time to possibly look around for someone else who knows how to successfully treat what you have instead of just calling what you have something else.

My therapist is extremely competent and could certainly explain the differences between the two types of disorders, but I failed to ask more questions because I was too shy. And I know she wouldn't refuse to treat a patient with BPD. When I first located her, I e-mailed her to ask if she had experience working with BPD. She said that she did and would be happy to work with me. So I think it's mostly me being too shy to ask her more questions. I don't like to appear uneducated, so I suppose I try to find the information elsewhere first.

g*d I hate it.

It's good, stiil, to know that I am not alone. I am trying to kick this bpd where the sun don't shine!

thanks,

Carol

glad to know it's not just impatience and anger management issues like my parents claimed all my life...

this is very much me.

To the OP;

Goodness... so much me! I'm stunned how accurate and fitting this description is.

What I am shocked at is the fact that despite such clear accounts of the symptoms and the "inscape" of BPD available, whenever I sought medical help, all my doctors could come up with were the most random - or, on occasions hideously unscientific - "diagnoses", ranging from anxiety to demonic disturbance.

One DOES feel it is still the Middle Ages, when it comes to mental health.

ashpile

i havent been diagnosed with bpd or anything else...but this sounds like me. ive just started therapy very recently, so we'll see what comes out of it. ive believed for a few years now that i have bpd. very strongly believe so.

Its me too. Its all of us. Does it not make anyone else feel like their entire being, the entirety of who you are is characterized by a disorder, that we all fit into this little box? That when our parents told us we were special and unique and whatever other bs, they were lying and didn't know what they were talking about. Because "us", we are all the same. I don't even know myself anymore, and finding out that I have this has made it so much worse.

We are not our diagnosis. Very good point to bring to the forum. There's so much more about ourselves to love. That's how I feel right now. Ask again in an hour! LOL!

You know, I've had periods of my life where I have not been like this and come out of it for a period. Bur I am once again back in this place. I can relate to all, but I have been with the same man 17 years and not cheated on him. with everyone I've met that seems out of the norm for bpd. we have def had our issues because of impulsivity ans rage though. Its really not a fun disorder to have but i am learning useful tools.

It's been years since I've cheated. We're on here for honesty right? When I'm in a DEFINITE relationship I don't cheat. I keep the communication clear that I'm seeing other people if I am.

And to answer earlier ?'s............I got diagnosed Bipolar Disorder because I've had manic episodes that lasted longer than two weeks. That's all you need. Two manic episodes longer than a week. The two also come together a lot. They're closely related cousins. I also was sober. You need to be sober when you have these manic episodes. Not an insult just a thought. Hope this helped.

Yeah, my oldest sister used to tell me that I was special and more "aware" than other people--that I was more "deep" and blah, blah, blah. My mom and the rest of the family just thought I was angry, defensive and bratty.

Wow.......

cheers to us!!!

Are there gray areas with this? I feel like that's true for the most part for me, but others not so much. help?

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others,

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety

Hello, I am new here and not too sure how to go about dealing with this. I have not been diagnosed yet, but seeing a psychologist.

What I have underlined fits me perfectly. The thing is, these traits only come out when I am in a relationship. I have no anger, no tantrums, but I have great insecurities.

I have recently been dumped. It is a first for me, I usually let go before, but this time it was not the case. I completely lost myself in that 2 and 1 /2 year relationship. I lived for him. Was always worried he'd abandon me.

I was adopted and raised in an alcoholic family, so I am wondering if that can have any thing to do about it.