[Psyched]

I have always done that & it drives me crazy! It seems like everyone else in the world thinks before they talk, but I just blurt out whatever comes to mind. I keep telling myself that I won't do it anymore, but I can't seem to control it. It gets me into trouble, & it makes me sound like an idiot. I thought it was entirely due to my social phobia, which I'm sure doesn't help, but I just read in The Borderline Personality Disorder blog that we often do that. Wow, I never knew that was a symptom! I've known other borderlines who don't have that problem ( or at least, don't appear to). Do you?

[Yoda]

It is also a symptom of ADHD

i have social phobia and im borderline. i do it non-stop. ill blurt out the stupidest thing, and then when i walk away i kick myself in the butt for doing it. it never fails.

[Psyched]

I tried hitting "thanks", Yoda, but there's something wrong w/ my Internet Explorer. So thanks to both of you! Yoda, that pic is adorable! And fourwalls, I do the same thing all the time! Don't you hate that?! That's why I'm socially phobic.
I probably have ADD (notice this is edited) but I know that I don't have ADHD, b/c I hardly get out of bed! (Due to severe depression.) Definately not hyper!!!

[Yoda]

You are welcome, Psyched.

I am not hyperactive either and did not realize I had attention deficit until my son was diagnosed with it and I started learning about it. When I was in college one of my instructors told me I had really poor social skills. I took a class in sociology and started learning how to interact with people. It has taken a lot of effort but I can communicate okay most of the time but there are still are times that my mind will race from one thought to another and my son will say "how did we get from what we were talking about to that"? The meds help but I yam what I yam.

Originally Posted by Psyched

I have always done that & it drives me crazy! It seems like everyone else in the world thinks before they talk, but I just blurt out whatever comes to mind. I keep telling myself that I won't do it anymore, but I can't seem to control it. It gets me into trouble, & it makes me sound like an idiot. I thought it was entirely due to my social phobia, which I'm sure doesn't help, but I just read in The Borderline Personality Disorder blog that we often do that. Wow, I never knew that was a symptom! I've known other borderlines who don't have that problem ( or at least, don't appear to). Do you?

I have several diganosis - Bipolar, rapid cycle through day is worst

I am embarresd talking to people even on the phone cuz my mouth takes off and sometimes I don't even remember what I said.
Then I've already told them and they get irriated.

On paper I talk as fast as I write - I leave whole words out..

[Psyched]

Starlite-I have a "phone phobia", too! Someone started a thread about that in the Anxiety forum & there were so many replies from people who have that problem. I had no idea it was so common.
Yoda- I can certainly understand how someone w/ attention deficit would have this problem. I figured that I have it (ADD) b/c it's really difficult for me to even understand posts sometimes. I'm sure much of that can be attributed to severe depression. But I didn't know that someone could have ADHD & not be hyper, b/c I thought the "H" stands for hyperactive. Is the medication you take for it- see, I can't even remember the name, I think it begins with an A- helpful to you? I hope so. I could never take it b/c it's a stimulant, & my nerves are so bad that I'd hit the roof.

Any other borderlines out there who can relate?

[ECHOES]

I have had discussions about this in therapy. I (sometimes) tell anyone anything, or I do a lot of "Me too!!!" and then go on with MY story.
What T and I talk about is what I am looking for, or in fear of, in the particular situation that I am in, and the people in that situation (friend, co-worker, manager, stranger, etc). It isn't the behavior so much as what is pushing the button for the behavior to begin.
It can take time to slow down your thinking to catch these things, but there is much to learn about yourself.

[Psyched]

Thanks, Echoes. I can understand the "what you are in fear of" about the situation or the person. I thought that it was b/c I feel inferior to other people & want them to like me, but I do it around people whom I don't even like & whose opinions of me don't matter. I'm just a hysterical mess, I guess!

[ECHOES]

Wanting others to like me was definitely something that motivated me too. Wanting them to like me and afraid that they won't. In fear of...rejection.

[paddym22]

Psyched

I used to do it all the time and hate myself for it and would get embarrassed as hell after the event. But you know since I joined PC and with the help of BPD chats on Mondays and Tuesday by holmes and Rapunzels DBT chats on Tuesday and my own work with my T and Pdoc I am getting less and less impulsive, but it takes time and effort. But I gave up being embarrassed and disliking myself for it as that didnt help me overall. I just accepted it as a symptom of the illness and one that could be treated. What you could try doing is using PC to blurt out what you want, this is a very caring place and we are all here to support and care for each other. Above all dont hate yourself for it, it is NOT your fault.

Looking forward to hearing more from you

Paddy

[Psyched]

Thanks, Paddy. I agree that the DBT chats are very informative & helpful. What a relief to know that others do this, too!
Here's something that will make all of you laugh:
Yesterday, I was telling someone about how I always get lost. I used the example of when I got lost in NYC & ended up walking around in a really bad neighborhood- a taxi driver stopped & yelled, "What are you doing here?! Get in the car & I'll take you home!" I actually said (yesterday) "I can't believe I got lost in my own country!" (??????????)
Um, I get lost in my own neighborhood all the time, let alone my own country! What the hell was that??? I didn't even realize I said something so stupid until hours later- that's always what happens. I just don't know what's wrong with my brain. I think it's dying.
Edit: Hey Paddy, I just read that you were on vacation in Ireland. I hope you didn't get lost! And I hope you had a great time!

What helps me is to work at being a better listener. Instead of going over my "me toos," while the other is talking, I try to listen until the person is finished. Then I take a short pause before responding. With practice this process gets easier and more efficient.

[Psyched]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

What helps me is to work at being a better listener. Instead of going over my "me toos," while the other is talking, I try to listen until the person is finished. Then I take a short pause before responding. With practice this process gets easier and more efficient.

I understand what you mean. I know that I do that a lot here on PC b/c I'm new & can't get over that I'm not alone with many of my issues (which is why this site has been helpful to me). I don't really have that problem irl b/c I'm so isolated & therefore can't relate to most people & don't have similar life experiences.
That isn't really what I'm referring to.