You know you're borderline when...

When your rage gets the better of you AGAIN and you break your thumb

Hope your thumb heals fast, flooded.

When your best friend has had multiple crises/chaos going on and you want to cry because there's nothing tangible you can do to help, but you want to go beat the hell out of those who are compounding her pain!

thanks guys for your caring responses..you made my day.
*hugs* to you all

when you have a loving guy and family at home. you start hanging out with some new people. one guy shows interest in you and you really like that. you actually crave it. and your feeling completely torn. you know better to act on anything, but dang the attention is nice. GRRR

Same here. I'm not married, I'm in a relationship now that I hope to end soon. I really don't want anyone that close anymore. But, like you, I still love the attention.

Or he doesn't answer the phone, so you pass by his ( or her ) house and the car is not there. You text him that your relation is over because he cheat on you.

You then remember the day after that his car is in repair at the dealer... ( and you actually went with him to bring the car to the dealer 2 day's ago... ) Gulps!

i just found this thread and i'm amazed i haven't been diagnosed sooner!

you know you're borderline when..

- your T is due back from leave on monday and when monday comes you ask the nurses to call her and then they come back and tell you that she's not back until the following monday so you spend the week crying and trying to SH (difficult while in hospital but not impossible) and telling everyone that you know they are lying to you because she's never coming back and it's all your fault... for her to then come back on the following monday and then diagnose me with "attachment issues"...

-you make a new facebook to ask someone why they blocked you even though they blocked you after you deleted them because you hated them but now you feel abandoned by them and want to know why they hate you.. even though you know they have BPD too.

-you are convinced that your cousins who you live with hate you and are going to kick you out because your not trying harder enough to get better even though they said they weren't going to and that they were in it for the long hall.

-you are convinced that the whole clinic (both inpatient and outpatient) that you used to go to hate you and think you're lying about everything so you swear never to speak to them again only to feel abandoned when your old outpatient T doesn't call so you call him and tell him you think that everyone is lying and that they hate you and even when he promises that they don't that just makes you hate him for lying..

When your tdoc won't admit you to the psych ward because she knows you'd leave within an hour...

"don't fence me in"

You know you're BPD when you sit down to eat your favorite food and your mother gives you a disapproving look, so you contemplate killing yourself.

You know you're borderline when you are on your way to do a chore, then someone reminds you to be sure and do that chore, and now you refuse to because you don't want it to look like you only did the chore because they told you to.

If you're a teenager, that's normal. If you're almost 50, that's borderline.

you know you're borderline when you realize you're borderline and that the psych was right then you SH and end up in ED waiting on a psych consult...

have been waiting over 4hours

This is my biggest problem. I refuse to do things people tell me to do. You spoke my language.

when you feel like punishing people for perceived punishment.

I've experienced the rebellious teenager phase plenty of times, even in my twenties!

I'm EXACTLY the same. Totally allergic to others telling me what to do.

Still rebellious at 36

Well count me in on being rebellious. I don't do well with others telling me what to do.

It drives my therapist, parents, and general recovery team insane. I was trying to get a job, and then they told me I had to get a job or I'd get punished. So I stopped looking for a job.

The thing is that half the time if people left me to my own devices, I'd probably end up doing what they wanted me to do in the first place. I don't understand why that's so damn hard to understand!!

We're a funny breed

My tdoc's biggest issue with me is that I stop/start/stop medication ALL the time. I can't work out why I do this either.

Like she gave me Zyprexa last Thursday and I took it from Fri-Mon and haven't had it since. Same with lithium although I did take it continuously for 3 months before I fell into that "habit" again.

This is my tdoc ->

You'd rather have an open relationship with someone who's at uni even though you can't stand the idea of him getting with other girls but you'd rather endure that and be unhappy than be alone

I now take ALL my meds right before bed. I used to take some blood pressure in the morning, and then when I started the psych meds, they were like during the day. After a while, I was like, screw you guys, I am up and down and turning around and feeling queasy - I am taking everything at night, give me something to sleep, make the meds and the doses so they last thru the day, and don't effin eff with me. now once a month I load up my old lady medicine tray with all my meds and stress-tab vitamins, and i'm good to go. okay, I admit, I took a long time to decide to START taking psych meds, I started at age 50 and I should have started 10 years earlier when prozac was invented. but once I started, I never stopped. i'm like your T, I don't get it. do they bother you in some way? I have a friend who does the same, I don't get it!

Yeah they bother me. Remind me of someone I don't want to end up like.

Hahahaha. That's my entire treatment team xD. My sponsor is like that too. I saw her Friday and she was like, "Okay, you better be sure to call me tomorrow morning." Needless to say, I haven't called her yet...

I'm no longer on meds. Baaaaaad for me to have meds lying around.

Side note: I believe zyprexa to be a horrible medication. It made me gain weight like crazy. I mean, like I gained 20 lbs in a matter of a few weeks. -.-

You get into work and their's an email with your name on it just asking where your gettin info from. You get mad and high light words and make capital letters in your words of where you found the info. You even take a picture and send to what it is you read (in a location). After a bit stewing at the end of your shift you think "maybe i went a little over board " and send the person a happy dog picture saying have a nice day today. Then you realize that maybe coming off consonational but a part of you likes that cuz the person is a ***** any who. Lmao i'm sorry if that doesn't fit here but That's what my work day was and now i'm laughin at the whole thing

some of this brings tears to my eyes.....