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  #126  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 10:38 AM
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And good morning, to you, too! GRRRR. F-ing DSM.......

Remember, as you think about these, that there are strong, somewhat competing theories as to why we're this way.....It's understandable.
Thanks for this!
kalisha36

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  #127  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 11:00 AM
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I fit all of these. I remember the night my wife was reading about BPD. She kept saying yep this one is you this one and this one...... she said this is you. I looked over her shoulder reading and denied all of it. No way. That's not me I told her. When I suggested it to my psychologist he agreed I didn't meet that. He referred to the movie fatal attraction. Said that the lady in the movie was a text book case. He also said that it mostly effects women. So does that mean I am just an a**hole who put his wife through hell and just need to learn to deal with my anger. But then what about the suicidal thoughts/attempt and beating my self. I don't know.
  #128  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 11:23 AM
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I had to by the DSM for school it's expensive!! stupid book lol.

I dont fit any of those symptoms... well maybe the anger one because I like to yell at people and things, like when im driving... and in German, they cant hear me anyway... but it helps...

so to help me know borderline... (psychology majoir) is it kind of like having 2 personalities? or why is it called borderline? i dont understand. from reading other posts here it seems to contradict (?) what people say is not what they mean or something?? some help is appreciated....


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  #129  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baltazar View Post
FYI-

Borderline Personality Disorder DSM IV Criteria

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
The DSM IV goes on to say:
The essential feature of Borderline Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.
I bolded the ones that pertain to me. I feel like I've finally found the answer to why I've been acting a certain way for the longest time. I just hope I have the courage to bring it up to my doctor, and that it even makes a difference if I do.
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You know you're borderline when...

Let the shadow prove
The sunshine.


Thanks for this!
Amy
  #130  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 12:09 PM
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Ein...so, you're asking because you're a psych major? Or you're asking because you want support with the condition?

If you're a psych major, have you taken Abnormal Psych yet? Or, where are you in your program?

I ask because...I don't want to be studied here....there are many places to go for information, including case studies that are available.

I am very willing to answer questions about a situation, about something confusing you've read, etc., but I am not willing to be, as I said, studied here. Not here.
  #131  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 01:02 PM
Amy
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Originally Posted by cluelessgluten View Post
I fit all of these. I remember the night my wife was reading about BPD. She kept saying yep this one is you this one and this one...... she said this is you. I looked over her shoulder reading and denied all of it. No way. That's not me I told her. When I suggested it to my psychologist he agreed I didn't meet that. He referred to the movie fatal attraction. Said that the lady in the movie was a text book case. He also said that it mostly effects women. So does that mean I am just an a**hole who put his wife through hell and just need to learn to deal with my anger. But then what about the suicidal thoughts/attempt and beating my self. I don't know.

Most of the time women are diagnosed with BPD and men who display the same symptoms are diagnosed with Antisocial personality disorder when they SHOULD be diagnosed with BPD.
  #132  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Baltazar View Post
Most of the time women are diagnosed with BPD and men who display the same symptoms are diagnosed with Antisocial personality disorder when they SHOULD be diagnosed with BPD.
I read the symtoms for Antisocial and I could see why because a couple of the symptoms overlap but the rest is not me. very remorseful and I do not have an utter disregard for authority. infact I want to conform I just have anxiety issues because I feel like i dont fit in, so I some times avoid social situations. also I like to be around people I just always afraid I will say or do something dumb, especially when alcohol is involved. I tend to over do when I drink and find it hard to stop once I start. Just like eating. I tend to bienge when doing both. at least with eating I just get fatter. I don't know how I don't weigh 300 lbs the way I eat. I sometimes avoid eating at social events because I am afraid people will make comments about how much I ate. and when I do eat I tend to find it hard to stop. I eat until I cant move. Buffets are not my friend. I want to bring all this up to Psycologist but inside I am afriad of what he will say. I am scared he might agree, and then what. I will never tell my wife, because I don't trust her with my feelings. I only tell her things I would put in the newspaper. Thats bad but it's my burdon I guess. OR was it burbon...
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  #133  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 02:38 PM
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Just wanted to say that you're not alone. My psychiatrist tells me "You definitely have a mood disorder," but refuses to diagnose me with anything. She thinks she knows me really well but there are things I have neglected to tell her out of fear. I don't want to be diagnosed with one thing after another, and am sick of being added on more pills. So it's understandable why you wouldn't want to tell your doctor.

I can definitely relate to the binge eating, I am constantly eating for no particular reason except that I simply can't stop myself. I'm overweight as it is, and it's just getting worse. I cry every time I finish eating, practically. I'm also the same in social situations, I'm usually the person in the corner afraid to speak out of fear of what people will think of me. So I can totally understand where you're coming from on both of those counts.

What I'm doing is printing off a list of symptoms of BPD and highlighting the ones that apply to me, and showing that to my doctor when I see her next. I think having the certainty of knowing what you're struggling with is the first step towards overcoming it. Even if all your doctor does is say "yep, you have BPD," at least then you'll know what you're dealing with.
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You know you're borderline when...

Let the shadow prove
The sunshine.


  #134  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Yesterdays View Post


Just wanted to say that you're not alone. My psychiatrist tells me "You definitely have a mood disorder," but refuses to diagnose me with anything.She thinks she knows me really well but there are things I have neglected to tell her out of fear. I don't want to be diagnosed with one thing after another, and am sick of being added on more pills. So it's understandable why you wouldn't want to tell your doctor.

This is me too. There is so much I didn't tell him becuase I am so scared of his reaction. I'm so scared he'll say I'm crazy and lock me in the looney bin.

I can definitely relate to the binge eating, I am constantly eating for no particular reason except that I simply can't stop myself. I'm overweight as it is, and it's just getting worse. I cry every time I finish eating, practically. I'm also the same in social situations, I'm usually the person in the corner afraid to speak out of fear of what people will think of me. So I can totally understand where you're coming from on both of those counts.

This I really don't understand. I am full but will continue to eat if there is food there. I have heard that it is because parents make us finish our plates when we were young and now we feel as though we must finish even though we are full, but that doesn't explain why I find myself in the kitchen and midnight stuffing my face and then feeling so stupid after for not being in control.

What I'm doing is printing off a list of symptoms of BPD and highlighting the ones that apply to me, and showing that to my doctor when I see her next. I think having the certainty of knowing what you're struggling with is the first step towards overcoming it. Even if all your doctor does is say "yep, you have BPD," at least then you'll know what you're dealing with.
That is a good idea. I haven't seen my psychologist in more than a year so I am way over due to see him again. When I do go back I think I'll do that too. Thanks
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  #135  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 07:55 PM
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when your t is kind enough to answer your emails, but she doesn't answer the way you wanted, so you decide she's a horrible person, you never want to speak to her again and you cancel all your appts.
Thanks for this!
kalisha36, SophiaFlying
  #136  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by bpd mess View Post
when your t is kind enough to answer your emails, but she doesn't answer the way you wanted, so you decide she's a horrible person, you never want to speak to her again and you cancel all your appts.
OMG bpd mess,

I swear this just happened...Like I just did this yesterday!!!
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
  #137  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 08:27 PM
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Absolutely! Or you can't do your homework you're supposed to email, so you decide you just won't say anything. Ever again. In fact, you think really hard about blocking him in your email, so he can't ask what's up....
  #138  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by kalisha36 View Post
OMG bpd mess,

I swear this just happened...Like I just did this yesterday!!!

Happened to me this afternoon. I even called her and told her I'm mad at her and don't want to see her anymore! At least I refrained from telling her I hate her.
  #139  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 08:56 PM
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Absolutely! Or you can't do your homework you're supposed to email, so you decide you just won't say anything. Ever again. In fact, you think really hard about blocking him in your email, so he can't ask what's up....

Never thought about blocking in email. I'll have to think about doing that, and maybe my phone too......
  #140  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 09:35 PM
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LOL....I did it once, then panicked and recanted....like when you're a kid toying with hating God and you say it three times or something, throw dust over your shoulder and spit in the dirt. "And I mean it!" (stomping your foot)
  #141  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 09:45 PM
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You guy's seriously I do not know what I would do without this thread right now to help me feel some what like I am NOT ALONE!!! The fact that you all have these thought's or something similar? Is just helping me not to go do something more I dunno outlandish? The blocking the e-mail that one was freaking AWESOME...GOD now that I never even thought of??? I have been barely even able to function today so irritated arg.......But coming here just seems to make a difference thanks you guy's
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
Thanks for this!
doglover5
  #142  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 09:56 PM
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Thanks for this!
emptybee15
  #143  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 10:31 PM
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Hey, I told God I hated him before too, recently. I've told my t I hate her lots of times. She just tells me she can handle it.
  #144  
Old Dec 17, 2010, 10:48 PM
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My T say's the same thing bpd mess..She say's it's okay I hate her and she can handle it and she will be there when I am done being mad?? WTH??? That just infuriates me??? I mean then it's just cocky that she's knows I will get over it.........She ends up being right! Ugh.....Then whose the sucker ME
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
  #145  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 12:10 AM
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...when your arms are burning and your heart is beating hard, sore, with blocked emotion.
Thanks for this!
bpd2
  #146  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by kalisha36 View Post
You guy's seriously I do not know what I would do without this thread right now to help me feel some what like I am NOT ALONE!!! The fact that you all have these thought's or something similar? Is just helping me not to go do something more I dunno outlandish? The blocking the e-mail that one was freaking AWESOME...GOD now that I never even thought of??? I have been barely even able to function today so irritated arg.......But coming here just seems to make a difference thanks you guy's

Hugs and kisses
Thanks for this!
kalisha36
  #147  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 12:33 AM
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awe,
Seriously your amazing all of you....I hate to admit that really...Scares the poo right out of me (not literally)....However you know stating your feelings like that cuz you never know if there coming up in fire against cha'....Just seems that I told T what I thought, she of course reached out, then of course I raged at her...Now I wanna punish her cuz of course I am so, so very careful always with boundary issues....I mean when and if I seen her pop up on facebook I would get rid of it RIGHT NOW!! I am a good girl!! I would never jeopardize our patient therapist relationship...I know the right thing to do...I am a good patient...I once had a dream and felt so guilty just cuz it had something about her in it? I just don't even like to have anything to do with her outside the office even though she makes herself available...I read the books I see how people can feel about there T's NO WAY ain't gonna get me!!!..........SUCKERS....Is how I see it....I don't want her to hurt me...She is having some of my inner most secrets. She knows about the people inside my head? ARG...Sorry I know this isn't what this thread is for...Just hurting a bit.........BLAH PUKE I know BOO
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
  #148  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 12:38 AM
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Originally Posted by kalisha36 View Post
awe,
Seriously your amazing all of you....I hate to admit that really...Scares the poo right out of me (not literally)....However you know stating your feelings like that cuz you never know if there coming up in fire against cha'....Just seems that I told T what I thought, she of course reached out, then of course I raged at her...Now I wanna punish her cuz of course I am so, so very careful always with boundary issues....I mean when and if I seen her pop up on facebook I would get rid of it RIGHT NOW!! I am a good girl!! I would never jeopardize our patient therapist relationship...I know the right thing to do...I am a good patient...I once had a dream and felt so guilty just cuz it had something about her in it? I just don't even like to have anything to do with her outside the office even though she makes herself available...I read the books I see how people can feel about there T's NO WAY ain't gonna get me!!!..........SUCKERS....Is how I see it....I don't want her to hurt me...She is having some of my inner most secrets. She knows about the people inside my head? ARG...Sorry I know this isn't what this thread is for...Just hurting a bit.........BLAH PUKE I know BOO
FYI - I was just reading another thread on the forum and it got me thinking. BPD is often caused by childhood trauma. Here is an article recommended by another person on the site. It's worth reading:

http://www.traumacenter.org/products...ild_Trauma.pdf
Thanks for this!
kalisha36
  #149  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 12:55 AM
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Okay I PROMISE when my husband get's home from an emergency work call that he got called in on, I will look it up....It wont let me read it for some reason? But I will have him help me look it up?? For some reason I am incompetent?
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
  #150  
Old Dec 18, 2010, 05:04 AM
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you know you're bpd when your boss insults you and you keep harping on it, even tho you know the bigot will probably fire you,,,,,
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Thanks for this!
Amy, bpd2
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