You know you're borderline when...

When you push everyone away..

push-pull-push-pull-push-pull-push-pull-push-pull-push-pull and push again..

and when that push-pull-push-pull burns out your therapist...

Precisely one of my fears right now.

Me too...I'll find out on Monday....

when your T tells you he is softer on you than anyone else because he knows you are struggling- which is what you have wanted to hear for a long time. So you feel good and cared for until you realise that what he really means is that you are different from everyone else and he hates you and dreads seeing you every week, and you wish you were like everyone else

YKYB when people disagree with you, and you are absolutely sure it's because you're stupid and they hate you.

Am I BPD?

Well, am I???????????

Flooded - idk to be honest. But i know with me i question dx's then say stuff like i don't need help then some how one day i see what others see. A little piece realizes geez maybe t and doc are right and i knew all along anywho :-|

Idk if that is what's going on but thought i would share?

What has made you question your dx?

(I know some say with copin skills they no longer are bpd but struggle- which i have thoughts on but don't want to upset anyone. And i'm happy they have coping skills - don't get me wrong on that)

Best wishes to you. Hope that angry face turns to a happier face soon. Hugs

When you get it into your head that your longterm bf who is also your bff, will call you up one day and say 'hey i'm getting married you're invited to the wedding' so you immediatiely text him to EFF OFF, and then you cry 2 weeks later because he won't speak to you...

When you go back and forth between love and hate with the same person about 100 times in a day.

My T thinks I am and will continue with DBT which seems controlling. I just don't know what my diag. is anymore; 'knew I was depressed 2 days ago after 6 months off meds; immediately felt better when I restarted them, except there are allergic reactions to Imipramine.

'High mood all the time, but physically functionally depressed if that makes sense. Maybe I need a new psychiatrist? My emotions fluctuate I get irritated with people, defensive when they just have to be "one up." I can appreciate the beauty around me with no people in it. Maybe I'm avoidant? What am I anyway!?

You feel absolute rage when thinking about T's intern who gets to see him all the time...you hate her...you fear showing T this rage and hate because he might leave you...

How is it going, you guys? I'd like to think Ts who work with BPD are extra careful to avoid burnout, but...

my exT told me a couple times that she was treating me gently because I was struggling. Then she became very harsh and said she won't treat me as "fragile" anymore. It would have been infinitely better if she had just been consistent from the beginning.

I don't know why I always worry so much. T is my rock in this crazy world. If I'd just talk to her right away, things wouldn't end up this way... someday maybe I'll learn

So I take it the session went well?

when your SO ends up having to have surgery for something stupid he did (accident), but some how you know its your fault. And you keep screwing everything up. Like forgetting to bring certain things to the hospital for him and not knowing he needed it, even though he didn't tell you he needed it. So of course your a stupid, screw up, who can't do anything right. All you want to do is go home, crawl into bed and cry.

It did, we talked a lot about meds, and decided that I will continue to take them. I also finally got the med issue cleared up, so I will take valium tonight to sleep.

I also had DBT today, which was super triggering, so I talked to one of the group leaders, and gave her something that I use to SI, because I desperately wanted to SI during break...

Couldn't agree more. I live in constant fear that one day T will decide to change, and then where will I be. Abandoned and alone once more

Even the T relationship is exhausting and turbulent, what hope do we have in the real world

that's exactly how I feel right now: if a person, a therapist trained in dealing with borderlines, if that person cannot deal with me, how will anyone? I feel sorry for my children, as they are stuck with me to some degree. And I have no real hope of getting better now. I feel like I grew a lot in therapy and I got a glimpse at who I have the potential to become, and then I lost it all when T abandoned me and validated every bad and negative thing I have ever heard, thought, or felt about myself.

It makes me dizzy to think about how fast this happened, how completely I lost the T I thought I had, and how much of my new strength and stability was wrapped up with her. When she left (emotionally) she took a lot of pieces of me with her. I don't know how or why to rebuild with what shards I have left.

when someone you've never "spoken" to on Twitter unfollows you and it leaves you feeling devastated, you are boring and unworthy and you delete your account

you know you're borderline when you see your mom...explains it all

you know you're borderline when...
you get super angry with your T about something she said, then rationalize that it really was your fault anyway and t was totally right

Bahahaha.... you have no idea how many times...

You know you're borderline when you post on another site (in several places actually) that you had to leave Sunday School with chest pains, spent the day in urgent care, and it turns out you have angina. You then compare the number of "I'll pray for you" responses that you get, compared to what others get because they don't have a job or something, and conclude that they all hate your guts and hope you die.

I just checked back with one of those prayer request threads. Sure enough, there is another "I need a job" post, and nobody mentioned my own prayer request. I am sitting on my hands to keep from typing, "Yeah, my cardiac health isn't important. Forget I mentioned it. Let's just pray for everybody to get jobs."