[Starvin4Perfection]

I really don't understand why my boyfriend has stuck it out with me this long (1 1/2 years)! Yesterday I went from fine, to hurt, to fine, to mad, to putting a happy face on for a friend, to upset, to really sad, to happy and playing around, to relaxed, to pissed off (in my defense, the pissed off was cuz I got woken up and I hate that)!!!! How the **** is it possible to go through that many emotions in one day; I even frustrate myself because I can't control it! When I get in one of those moods that lasts a while, he tells me that I'm exhausting and his patience is running thin and we don't have enough time together to stress (both our jobs keep us away from each other a few days a week). But when I say I don't get how if he thinks we fight all the time, why is he with me, I get an opposite response? So when I ask that he tells me he doesn't really think we fight a lot and that he loves me and he knows that everything will be ok because it always is, and he's with me for a reason. Apparently he knows the whole cycle of our ups and downs by now. I really don't get it at all and I so wish I could just stop the psychotic, rapid-changing cycle of emotions.

[Irine]

Have you ever tried therapy or mediation?

Reading this...i don`t know - it is natural to go through lots of different feelings and moods during a day. A day is a lone time. Its all about the way we are used to take things in...

[beauflow]

Starvin4Perfection--- ya know this last week with my personal life- i have felt very strongly the same way as you mention- why the hell does he stick out with me and how can he--- he loves me- I don't get it- I love him, but I feel I am not worthy for his love some days.. I mess up (I am messed up), I am a roller coaster of emotions, I am beginning to think I am a plague around fall and winter time- but yet he sticks it out with me- going to be three years together this coming Feb, he loves me- he sees the great things in me, he wishes i would be happy as I am some days and not so stressed, depressed, chaotic as other days with a week or day.

It is easy to see the horrid things with ourselves, and some how it is easier for people out side to see the greatness in us.. To me that is sort of sad, but ya know what- if they can see that greatness, hopefully some day we can too.

Maybe as LadyMac says- therapy and meds- maybe--

Personally with self trying Therapy- not meds yet but maybe here soon cuz I am just so tired of myself that with what Therapist says is what i know and try to do already have for years, maybe meds will help, but afraid--- It is all a self decision however.

DBT work book I personally am working out of too- it has helped a little- I hear groups if you can do them, are much much better for input- also I hear DBT there is struggle (I can agree with that but still trying it and it has given some insight though).

Wish you well and find what you need to help you-

Hugs and best wishes

[Starvin4Perfection]

Hey Ladies, thanks for your input.

Thanks Ladymacabethadmunsen, I actually do go to therapy, more of an imago type because my therapist considers me "high functioning" but I have difficulties with confidence and learning to not instigate arguments when things are good in my relationship because I feel like I need the chaos. The medications I take work amazingly well, I'm very happy with them, I just have my days where I'm a little off. I've heard DBT works really well for BPD, but I leery of group therapy.

Thanks Beauflow. I think you're right, our significant others must obviously love us or they wouldn't have hung around this long, ya know? Although I know I piss him off a lot, deep down he says I'm a good girlfriend and he's very lucky... I just know that things would be even more amazing if I could learn to keep my emotions in check and stop letting stupid things get to me so much. Congratulations to you are your relationship; knowing that someone loves you, even if you don't understand why sometimes, is the best feeling in the world so I'm happy you guys are going strong!

Thanks again