Its funny how a day can start off so hopeful and end in disaster.

Basically this morning my mum agreed i could use her private health insurance to get the right treatment providing my team can't find me any for free.

Then she called them because they messed up my appointment and she wanted to know when i would next be seeing my psych. Anywho long story short, they told her they only refer up to 2 people a year to the DBT team and it can take up to a year to receive treatment.

So now basically i have to wait a year to possibly be referred to this team. What id like to know is what im supposed to do in the meantime, ive been feeling very very down lately - i slept for 16 hours a couple of days ago, i can't eat and im having suicidal and self harm ideation near constantly.

Has anyone else heard of having to wait a year to be referred for DBT treatment? What should i do? i don't really have the energy to fight them, i feel exhausted enough as it is. Im worried im going to feel increasingly unsafe.

My mum doesn't really care what happens to me (trust me this is true but i don't have the energy to explain why) i don't see why its such a big deal for me to go into hospital - she would never have to come see me and we barely see each other as it is. I just wanna get better and go back to work.

[Forgive77]

I live in the US so I don't know how to help you. In the mean time you could read "Get me out of here" and see if there are some DBT and CBT work books. I think I've seen people post that there are some. This site is great, and has a lot of great information on it. Very positive information. We're here to support you in any way we can.

[RaggedyAnn67]

" i slept for 16 hours a couple of days ago, i can't eat and im having suicidal and self harm ideation near constantly"
Please don't hurt yourself physically!! We do enough of that mentally! Stay strong in your efforts to get help. I have just found a counselor/therapist after a year of searching here. I live in a smaller city surrounded by small cities. I lived in Bourne, Lincolnshire briefly. It was like this here. Small villages surrounded by small villages. Is it like that there? Can you get help in a larger city nearby?
And, if you are in immediate danger, you do have a place to go, don't you? An ER? Call a crisis phone number? A friend?
I struggle with thoughts about my 'Mum' not caring either. It is often hard to differentiate between the BPD thought process and the reality of what is really going on. I hope you are considering that as you process the connection between one another. As for me, it has been confirmed by others (including a therapist in the past) that it is true. I truly hope this isn't the case for you. But, if it is, I hope that you continue to move forward towards the help you need. Keeping in touch here with this site is a great idea!!
The book Forgive77 suggested ('Get Me Out of Here') is great! I was so engrossed that I read it in less than two days. 'I Hate You-don't leave me" is another good book to read. It is about understanding BPD.
I do hope you find the strength to carry on. Have you considered and hobbies to help distract you and relax you during these efforts?

Thanks for the responses guys, i think my only option is to get some work books and continue to vent on here should i need too. Ive been harming really badly, its only added to the exhaustion so i need to try and lessen the dependancy somewhat. Thanks again though - its nice to know people care

[BorderlineBrittany]

BB2023.. I dont have the time between working 9 hours a day and having two kids on my own to go to a pysc to get referred to the DBT then to go to the DBT program so I sorta know how it feels but then again i am kinda doing it myself... But i've been reading books on BPD I found this website, and I got hobbies. I started scrapbooking and reading regular books. And im on Paxil and Divalproex. Which i recomend dearly!! Drugs are an amazing uplifter!

[cboxpalace]

Oh I just thought of this.. If you're not able to get into dbt right away you can still familiarize yourself with the course... There's a great and free website.. www.dbtselfhelp.com .. Check it out..

[BorderlineBrittany]

Awesome CBox for the link!!!

Thanks Brittney and cbox - i think what was holding me back from the whole self help idea was that in the past when ive tried similiar methods i gave up after ten minutes and went to go harm not healthy i know but its my attention that needs a rocket up the a-hole. The smallest of things will distract me - but no more excuses, your right. I need to start taking more responsibility for my recovery, thanks for the inspiration