[kate Johnson]

Been telling my boyfriend for ages now how depressed and sad I am again and have been for a while now, feel stuck in a pit! Even had to turn down a night on the town with the girls, which I never do on Sat night. I encouraged my partner to go out ( to be nice!) and watch the football as his team was playing and computer was playing up and making it hard for him to stream the game. He had a drink b4 he went, then went and said he ''only had 4 pints''.
He came bk with take away and was happy, all was going well....the all ate telly and had dinner, laittle bit later all the kids were in bed and he had a bit more to drink, then the truth came out in a discussion about a stranger of all things... The night ended with him saying he wouldn't call me stupid and dumb if I didn't act that way, I told him he was hurting my feelings and acting cold hearted, he shouted at me that in the morning we are finished and he doesn't want to be with me cause I'm Crazy, an idiot...''Your a ****ing weirdo!!''

[Forgive77]

Hmmm.....I think alcohol had a big roll in this one. Maybe it'll be fine when cooler heads prevail.

[kate Johnson]

He throws the same insults at me like every other day hun! The alcohol just increases the volume, I 4t after the first year it was all me but I realise now after the past 6 years that it aint all me...not at all, why should I constantly have to put up with this?! I have enough to deal with with my own head and children and normal every day problems I cant handle dealing with someone, the only 1 out of everyone that shouldnt talk to me and treat me in this manner, I deserve better!! I have BPD and that does not make me a bloody weirdo like he said to me, it will upset the kids but I told him this year there would be no more fighting or he would have to move into his own flat...again, I think that is where we now are at...unfortunetly! I wanted to marry him but he obviously doesn't feel the same way

[Forgive77]

Originally Posted by kate Johnson

He throws the same insults at me like every other day hun! The alcohol just increases the volume, I 4t after the first year it was all me but I realise now after the past 6 years that it aint all me...not at all, why should I constantly have to put up with this?! I have enough to deal with with my own head and children and normal every day problems I cant handle dealing with someone, the only 1 out of everyone that shouldnt talk to me and treat me in this manner, I deserve better!! I have BPD and that does not make me a bloody weirdo like he said to me, it will upset the kids but I told him this year there would be no more fighting or he would have to move into his own flat...again, I think that is where we now are at...unfortunetly! I wanted to marry him but he obviously doesn't feel the same way

If you're not married...then let him go. No one should make fun of your illness, and if you're with someone...they should be sensitive to you, and your kids. I think you're right. It's time to move on, and focus on the good in life and your kidos!

[BorderlineBrittany]

honestly i hate reading about bad relationships... You have the choice plain and simple to be in one. If you dont like it leave. I grew up in a house were my parents fought constanly and i promised my self to never be in a realtionship like that.. Thats prob why im single with 2 kids. And im ok with that... I promised to give my kids a better life then i had.. So what I can say is whats holding you back? If hes like this then leave. Do not tell me because you have kids. That is not an exciuse.. my sister stayed with her verbally abusive husband for 10 years, my parents for 20, i seen first hand what it can do to kids.. 5 of us all together.. Stop complaining and do something! It maybe easy to stay but what tole? Sorry to be so harsh and blunt but I dont like reading things like this... Only you have the choice!

Hi Kate

Im sorry your experiencing difficulties with your relationship right now. I feel you owe it to yourself to do what feels right for you. If you see no way of resolving the issues between yourself and your partner then perhaps it is time to move on. Yes it will be difficult, unsettling and probably quite scary but no one deserves to be verbally abused regularly like this - regardless of whether drink was involved or not. Your partner might be experiencing difficulties of their own and might not know the appropriate means of expressing how they feel or asking for help. Whether or not this is true you can only really be responsible for your own actions, you might not be able to change them but you can move on and attempt to change your life for the better if you want too. Good luck.

[kate Johnson]

Thank you all for your kind words and harsh words of support, I know having kids is not an excuse to be in a relationship as I left the father of my older two after 5 years of physical abuse. 1 day when he was at work I made some phone calls and emptied the house and moved myself and my kids to the other side of the country and then all court issues for years it was decided he was allowed no access to them at all, just 4 letters a year! I started a new life and was very carefull in selecting a new partner and good father for my babies.
He has raised them as his own and given them a brother too, stress is caused through difficulties with my condition and his lack of understanding, no matter how much I explain to him and as I get bad patches so does our relationship, he is not a bad man but makes bad choices, no this is not an easy decision and am stuck.
Yes I am complaining and want to do something but this is my family and it would be selfish of me to jump into a choice that involves my childrens feelings not just my own and the last thing I am is selfish unlike some people I see the whole picture surrounding my family not just me

[Perna]

Emotionally abusive does not sound a whole lot better than physically abusive, just less to show for it? Does not sound like you were careful enough in your choice for a father of your children. It does not do them any good to hear him berate you and call you names and you be upset about it. We all make bad choices sometimes but if he's making the same bad choices. . .