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#1
Aug 26, 2012, 05:19 AM
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Hey everyone, I've received PMs from different people and I appreciate all of them..
I'm going through a really tough time.. Toughest yet. I don't think I've ever had such a painful breakup... And at first it was him not treating me right so I left.. But somehow the tables turned and it ended up with me getting ignored and abandoned I know I should move on. I pray that I move on... 2 and a half years.. Just a month ago we were still making plans for the future... When we should get married.. Our next car... Our first kid next year.. Now... Shattered dreams.... I can't explain how sad and lost I am... I'm sorry that I can't really be there for anyone right now... Nearly all my days are bad... And I end up asking the lord to take me in my sleep... And I'm afraid of being alone because I just get consumed by my thoughts and memories. Can't eat, can't focus on anything (I've stop doing the online dbt cuz I can only think of scenarios with him in them... And I don't want to go there) don't want to go out either cuz afraid to go anywhere that will bring memories back. He was my life for 2 and a half years... My life... Now it's gone...
__________________
- self diagnosed BPD |
 Anonymous32935, BrokenNBeautiful, shezbut
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 BrokenNBeautiful
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#2
Aug 26, 2012, 12:41 PM
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Pynk,
I so, so know what you're going through. I know it isn't a big consolation, but I understand. That's why I was so glad to move. I couldn't leave the house either because of memories. It's so hard.... Look on eBay for a book by Jon Kabet-Zinn called Mindfullness Meditation. He is one of the forefathers of DBT. He also has a CD with the meditations on it but I recommend getting the book first. He started a meditation class geared towards people who were suffering long term or even terminal illnesses brought on my stress. It was where I started. When I first started the meditations several months ago, i wasn't really mindful...I would start disassociating instead, but regardless, it helped me through the day. I have learned since how to move it on the correct direction. I think if you did the Mindfullness Meditation for a while by itself, it would make the DBT training so smoother. I KNOW it's hard, I'm there myself. You're NOT alone. |
| Pynk
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| Pynk
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#3
Aug 26, 2012, 06:25 PM
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feel for you...
B.
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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