[irishclover]

I slept well last night but had dreams about the man from my affair that just ended. I dreamnt he got a hold of me through e-mail and gave me his new cell phone number. I can honestly say I don't remember feeling happy about seeing the e-mail. I did feel like "I knew you would get a hold of me." Then I woke up and it really bothered me that I'm even dreaming about his at all.

Once again, the pain in my chest and not being able to breathe. I'm not sure if that's anxiety or a panic attack. It wasn't enough for me to get all the way up, but enough I couldn't go back to sleep. Every morning he is on my mind. This can't get over soon enough. I'm looking forward to tonight, I usually feel better at night.

[Emotionally Dead]

I know how you feel... I keep having dreams and nightmares about my ex-fiance... It is so difficult because I love her so much... My life feels meaningless without her, and she is everywhere. I can see her, hear her, feel her, taste her... It is awful. The dreams just make it that much worse. You are not alone.

I understand the thoughts, the dreams, the mornings. Try to come up with something to do at night, while you're feeling okay, that you can do the next morning to make it better if by even a tad. Come up with an appointment or something that will keep you somewhat occupied and busy....make you get out of bed and doing something. Don't just lie in bed and think....that's the worst.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Mornings are hard for me, too. Always waking up from terrible dreams.

Morning are the worst. I have to readjust to reality all over again every day. It's as if I'm getting used to being in my own head again when I wake up.

When I broke up with my ex, I would wake up and instantly feel the grief of the situation...I would sometimes roll out of bed and cry. The pain sometimes brought me to my knees. Every new morning it got easier though.

Now I wake up and have to readjust to reality, reaffirm truths --especially after a very misleading dream. Mornings are still quite hard. But it's gotten much easier.

[irishclover]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I understand the thoughts, the dreams, the mornings. Try to come up with something to do at night, while you're feeling okay, that you can do the next morning to make it better if by even a tad. Come up with an appointment or something that will keep you somewhat occupied and busy....make you get out of bed and doing something. Don't just lie in bed and think....that's the worst.

I post on here in the mornings now. I didn't get to post last night or this morning, but that's because someone (me) didn't pay the electric bill on time. Back on now and I can write and feel better.

[irishclover]

Originally Posted by Emotionally Dead

I know how you feel... I keep having dreams and nightmares about my ex-fiance... It is so difficult because I love her so much... My life feels meaningless without her, and she is everywhere. I can see her, hear her, feel her, taste her... It is awful. The dreams just make it that much worse. You are not alone.

Yes, the memories are the hardest, and then come the why's?? Keep your head up.

[irishclover]

Originally Posted by stratocaster

Morning are the worst. I have to readjust to reality all over again every day. It's as if I'm getting used to being in my own head again when I wake up.

When I broke up with my ex, I would wake up and instantly feel the grief of the situation...I would sometimes roll out of bed and cry. The pain sometimes brought me to my knees. Every new morning it got easier though.

Now I wake up and have to readjust to reality, reaffirm truths --especially after a very misleading dream. Mornings are still quite hard. But it's gotten much easier.

I agree with you, it's like all day I battle my emotions to make myself accept it's over and it's over for the best, but waking up and knowing I have to go through it all over again doesn't feel good at all. I know each day will get better, it already has. It doesn't hurt any less and I hope it eventually will hurt less. A LOT LESS!

Originally Posted by irishclover

it's like all day I battle my emotions to make myself accept it's over and it's over for the best, but waking up and knowing I have to go through it all over again doesn't feel good at all.

I think I have to process it over and over and accept things on a daily basis (starting in the morning) because I , a person with BPD, can't integrate well at all. I think this may make it harder for us to accept things. Who knows..