[Iambpd]

Here it is again, I found a guy I like, I idolize him, think the world of him, he doesn't have time for me. I break up with him. This cycle of has one big cluster****, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I WANT IT TO STOP.

I can't pull my life together because all I seem to care about is GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIPS. WTF

MAKE THE CYCLE STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

I know it's hard, but "normal" people don't think the way that you, or I do. They don't obsess about people, don't understand how others do. He has time for you, I'm sure. He just doesn't have 24/7 for you, which is what your mind is demanding. You are looking at black and white....you idolize him...he doesn't want to spend 24/7 with you, you hate him. Splitting. Relationships do make the BPD stuff so much worse. Try to think about how other people think. I know it's hard because it's not how you think. He probably likes you but doesn't see the necessity of spending every moment with you. That's the way "normal" people think. I don't think normally either, but it you can internalize it and try to accept it, maybe you can give it a try...I don't know. Food for thought, I guess. Best of luck.

I have problems with relationships...any kind...virtual, romantic, friendships, doesn't matter. I definitely understand.

[shezbut]

I understand what you're saying very well. Been there and done that waaaay too long (and too many times!).

I was still like that for the first 2 years of my current relationship, as a matter of fact. For the past 1 year 1/2 though, I'm better-able to see that I have other responsibilities (my daughters) and I'm freaking depressed & tired 9 out of 10 times. I just want to be alone a lot of the time! Very unusual for me ~ and while the reasoning isn't all good, at least it is more "normal". Hey ~ maybe someday, I'll actually find not having a love in my life to feel acceptable. That would be an amazing difference in my life!!

(((gentle hugs))) to you!