I know this hits everyone in here, but I have the urge to put it in words. I'm tired not being able to stick to things because my emotions and thinking won't allow me to. I feel great, better than I have in a while one day or even part of a day. I resolve to get things done, make plans, everything is great, just to cancel the plans or not have enough energy to do it later. And that's the same thing with this forum and everyone on here does it. Not arguing or complaining to anyone; it's just a nasty part of the BPD. Does it bother anyone, because it sure as heck bothers me, to be totally caught up in your feelings (or lack or as I was earlier) to the point where you feel the need to make a thread about it, and then you look back a few hours later or the next day and whatever you wrote simply doesn't apply anymore? Irritating, ain't it?

Just as a side note...I am feeling better, but am still avoiding the threads with a lot of emotional content. I know I usually give a lot of advice and try to help people but it's just not in me right now. I still care and will help out more when this phase passes by. Lord knows it won't last long....

[MudCrab]

Hello, Maranara. What does your treatment team say?

"Treatment Team"? I have no treatment team nor do many of us have treatment teams. A lot of therapists won't treat BPD and a lot of insurances won't cover it. As for me personally, I've had BPD my whole life but my life circumstances made it much harder to cope with within the last year. I discovered BPD last February and was only officially diagnosed a few weeks ago. Money, at the present time, will not allow me to see a therapist regularly but I'm working on DBT and meditation on my own. By starting this thread, I was basically stating what most of us go though due to our constant changing emotions. It's been bothering me lately, that something bothers me enough to start a thread about it and before you know it, whatever was so important no longer applies.

[avlady]

i notice when i'm angry inside and don't show my anger i think about it and dwell on it, it festers, for awhile but the next day it is ok if that's what you mean. the problem is not solved and f it is solved i think the person who was mistreating me got the picture as i would just stay quiet.Maybe?

Originally Posted by avlady

i notice when i'm angry inside and don't show my anger i think about it and dwell on it, it festers, for awhile but the next day it is ok if that's what you mean. the problem is not solved and f it is solved i think the person who was mistreating me got the picture as i would just stay quiet.Maybe?

Kinda. One of the most common traits of BPD is constantly cycling emotions, and the cycling can on occasion be fast and extreme. It's not uncommon with my husband to go from happy to angry over a misplaced comment to guilty when I notice his reaction all in a matter of just a minute or two. Each emotion is completely genuine and can be extreme. They just don't last long. And each one is triggered by something, they don't just come and go randomly. Tis the life of a person with BPD.

Originally Posted by Maranara

I know this hits everyone in here, but I have the urge to put it in words. I'm tired not being able to stick to things because my emotions and thinking won't allow me to. I feel great, better than I have in a while one day or even part of a day. I resolve to get things done, make plans, everything is great, just to cancel the plans or not have enough energy to do it later. And that's the same thing with this forum and everyone on here does it. Not arguing or complaining to anyone; it's just a nasty part of the BPD. Does it bother anyone, because it sure as heck bothers me, to be totally caught up in your feelings (or lack or as I was earlier) to the point where you feel the need to make a thread about it, and then you look back a few hours later or the next day and whatever you wrote simply doesn't apply anymore? Irritating, ain't it?

Just as a side note...I am feeling better, but am still avoiding the threads with a lot of emotional content. I know I usually give a lot of advice and try to help people but it's just not in me right now. I still care and will help out more when this phase passes by. Lord knows it won't last long....

I totally agree this happens to me I would say 99% of the time, how I wish that I could delete what I had written.

US is so different than here in the UK, I read a lot of stuff and it makes me sad that most don't get help.

[BorderlineMess]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I know this hits everyone in here, but I have the urge to put it in words. I'm tired not being able to stick to things because my emotions and thinking won't allow me to. I feel great, better than I have in a while one day or even part of a day. I resolve to get things done, make plans, everything is great, just to cancel the plans or not have enough energy to do it later. And that's the same thing with this forum and everyone on here does it. Not arguing or complaining to anyone; it's just a nasty part of the BPD. Does it bother anyone, because it sure as heck bothers me, to be totally caught up in your feelings (or lack or as I was earlier) to the point where you feel the need to make a thread about it, and then you look back a few hours later or the next day and whatever you wrote simply doesn't apply anymore? Irritating, ain't it?

Just as a side note...I am feeling better, but am still avoiding the threads with a lot of emotional content. I know I usually give a lot of advice and try to help people but it's just not in me right now. I still care and will help out more when this phase passes by. Lord knows it won't last long....

Yes, yes, yes. I do this in life all the time. With jobs, with people, with school, with roommates, with family members, with boyfriends. Every aspect of my life is touched with this whim of emotion. I could go on and on about it, but yes, I experience it; it is insanely frustrating; and I have no idea how to deal with it.

[Ultra Darkness]

What I hate most is getting excited about something, only to stop caring by the time I get to it.

[9dee9]

I understand completley!

[Girl_interrupted89]

Its actually because of this reason, that I decided to write down notes or a document about what I feel or goes on my mind whenever I have an "episode" or something that is notable that I think will be a great help to my doctor and to myself in figuring out ways of making me better and because after an "episode", my memory about it or the details about what happen or what I was feeling or thinking seems to blur and it doesn't make sense to me afterwards when my mood/feelings changes. Its like after I snap out of the episode after a couple of hours or days I get confused and ask myself what was I thinking or what was going on. But as I am seeing my my doctor next week, I suddenly felt like I shouldn't show her the notes and stuff when I intended to give it to her to begin with.. pffft

Originally Posted by Maranara

I know this hits everyone in here, but I have the urge to put it in words. I'm tired not being able to stick to things because my emotions and thinking won't allow me to. I feel great, better than I have in a while one day or even part of a day. I resolve to get things done, make plans, everything is great, just to cancel the plans or not have enough energy to do it later. And that's the same thing with this forum and everyone on here does it. Not arguing or complaining to anyone; it's just a nasty part of the BPD. Does it bother anyone, because it sure as heck bothers me, to be totally caught up in your feelings (or lack or as I was earlier) to the point where you feel the need to make a thread about it, and then you look back a few hours later or the next day and whatever you wrote simply doesn't apply anymore? Irritating, ain't it?

Just as a side note...I am feeling better, but am still avoiding the threads with a lot of emotional content. I know I usually give a lot of advice and try to help people but it's just not in me right now. I still care and will help out more when this phase passes by. Lord knows it won't last long....

you sure do describe things well Mari

[AngelWolf3]

I totally can relate. Most definitely.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Me too.

That's why it's very very important for me to hate the bpd, not myself, or others with bpd.

It is very irritating. Bpd is irritating. I hate that, too---going from wanting to do something and then not following thru. My new companion got annoyed with me when I promised to go somewhere with him and then did not. I explained to him, again, it's the bpd and the agoraphobia, not about you.

We are decent people. Decent people with a condition.

thanks for this thread.