I'm pretty sure I'm set in my singlehood now. I thought about this the other night. Bear with me, I know I'm long winded. :/

I ride the bus home everyday. Recently a girl started riding that is kinda cute, young, (not too young of course) and seems nice anyway. I caught her a few times looking my way. idk. at this point, it seems like she is attracted to me, maybe.

Well long story short it's a nice thought to be looked at, admired or attracted to, but I thought about this. I thought about what if... what if I had a girlfriend again.. thought about the niceties of being in love, hanging out, intimacy.. all of that. but I could not shake the thought of how painful, complicated and stressful it would be. I tried I really tried to think about how nice it would be to be with someone, and the negatives overshadowed it all. I felt like "sure those 'moments' would be nice" but that leaves out all of the mess that goes along with it and I couldn't stop thinking about just how messy it would be!

That's the problem with romance. We tend to get caught up "in love" and don't think about all that goes along with it in the midst of our obsession with our target of infatuation. We see only the good in them and I understand that's natural, but it's not a good thing. I mean if I ever, ever get into a relationship again, I want to really know what I'm getting into this time. In spite of all the wonderful feelings it might bring, I dont' want to forget the work, the realities of relationships when I do. I don't want to ever get caught up in the fuzzy feelings where I lose myself again.

For now, I'm settled for sure. Not just a goal anymore, in my heart I am content and no longer lonely. I dont' know if I'll ever change my mind, I mean I haven't turned my heart to stone or anything but I'm seriously just gonna be this way. alone, but no longer lonely

*note* I realize some wonderful girl can come along and sweep me off my feet and throw all this out the window, I honestly hope that doesn't happen right now but know that it can. Poor girl is gonna have to work her tail off to convince me this time though

Thanks for listening

Sounds good...when my head clears and I come up with a comment besides "Ummmmm....." I'll let you know.

[Ultra Darkness]

I refuse to ever get in a relationship with someone if they're more trouble than they're worth. I beter know them dang well before I commit, and then we may as well get married!

sounds like how it was with me and my husband. let me tell ya, he had a TIME trying to get me to trust and relax and finally be okay with a relationship. and we still fuss and fight sometimes. but that's part of it. ALL relationships can get messy at times.

i'd have some cute analogy to go along with it but i don't really give a crap about analogies atm. all i'm saying is, sometimes the mess of being in a relationship with someone, platonic or otherwise, is worth it.

and some aren't. to those of you who read this and are in a relationship where **** just keeps happening........it might not be worth the mess.

but my word means nothing. :P

[TheRealFDeal]

Relationships certainly can be messy. And your kids don't need that either. Maybe it's a good idea to just concentrate on them right now. You may feel differently when they're grown and don't need you so much.

[NWgirl2013]

Ya know what? Being alone is a good thing. No one gets that, and that's when it gets messed up.
My perfect friend situation includes separate housing, separate lives. It's when you are together too much that things change. I want no jealousy, no expectations, no controlling behavior. From me or my friend.
Being happy in the moment when we are together & not thinking too hard about what is or isn't & just Accepting. Laughing, Loving. What's wrong with that? That's what I would have if I were up to me.
So far, I have not found anyone who gets this. I thought I met someone once, but in the end he wanted it to change into a more 'traditional' boy/girl thing. And I said, 'no'. So he went away. His loss. We had fun together. Oh well. If I had it to do over I would still say the same thing. He changed his expectation. I was honest, it wasn't a ploy. He didn't believe I just liked us, flaws & all. I had no thought to change him & I expected the same.
So, for now; alone. Yes. Okay with it. Feel fine, I have a life. Alone not lonely.

[poptart316]

Sometimes I think I'm better off single... I was actually in full acceptance of singledom all summer following a break up, for the first in my life I embraced it and I honestly was never happier.. no obsessing over someone or worrying if they really like me or feeling as if I'm not good enough. Although I jumped on the dating bandwagon at the beginning of winter, my depression came back and I think I did so in an attempt to alleviate my depression and curb boredom.. it's definitely added stress and it's actually made me feel more lonely, like I have this yearning feeling and this urgency to find someone... needing to be loved, accepted, and to be affectionate with someone else. It probably doesn't help that I'm on a dating site, it makes everyone seem like a cheap commodity and all I'm doing is shopping for the person with the best "features".. and yet everyone seems so subpar and I hold on to the belief that something better is out there.. I'm definitely getting preoccupied with it too. I'm dating two guys now, neither have managed to sweep me off of my feet.. but I feel like I should just settle with one and be done with it. Ack! Yeah, maybe I should jump off this bandwagon now and go back to embracing and ENJOYING singledom.