4) You know you are Borderline when...

I used to work as a general practitioner,but not since my suicide attempt in 2000.How embarrassing,by the way.:

what is the deal with this? i think the worst part of my condition is being able to so clearly see the error in my thinking when it's of no crucial importance at all, and being stuck in negative thought loops when it's time to do something important.

When you try very hard to drink away your problems...your BPD, but, of course, it's impossible.

When all the problems you've had your whole life, embarrassing, demeaning problems come crashing down on you leaving you feel completely helpless and vulnerable and even though you know it's gonna happen you convince yourself you'll be alright this time, until it happens again. I don't even know if I'm making sense.

When your pain turns into numbness.

You are deeply suspicious when people are kind to you

when you Pdoc is elated that your feeling better but you just wanna go and drink...

When you start the day off anxious and nervous, couple hours later you find yourself gnawing your teeth together in aggravation, then a little while after that you are downright angry. Then you get home and you are calmer. Hmmmm

When feeling suicidal becomes normal for you.

You catch yourself once again pushing someone away.

You think you lost another friend or "blew it" again.

Someone else has to talk to someone for you because you are 100 percent sure they want to have nothing to do with you.

This is so true and so me.

when you spend money that was deemed for zumba classes

I do feel unforgivable because I have driven the man I love away and I don't know what to do.

OMG...so true. I want to be strong and not hurt, but it is like a knife in my heart that can't be removed.

....you want your 25 year old son just to shut the h**l up, but then when he does, you demand to know why he's so quiet.
....you want your 17 year old daughter to leave you alone and spend the day with her aunt, then get mad because you think they're conspiring against you.

...when you get so depressed and realize that you are such a worthless POS that you do not even deserve to be a part of Psych Central, then come back quietly, because even though you still know you are worthless, being here makes it not hurt as much...sometimes.

Also To Britneigh: Amen on the suicidal feelings being our norm. My T does not even ask IF I am feeling that way anymore, just how much. In other words it is not a yes or not thing for me, am I having suicidal thoughts or not but, rather she just wants me to quantify the intensity for her.

You deserve to be here as much as any of us....hang in there.

When your girlfriend finds posts on here saying how at times you hate her and she takes it personally...not realizing its not her as a person you just have a love hate relationship with everyone.

When you make what you believe to be an important comment to a thread on another forum and everyone seems to get feedback except for you so you automatically know you've been discounted and taken for a fool.

you look back over the past year and you don't see one individual but many different personas that you've been. o.O

When you go back to the people who you feel you're damaging beacuse you're afraid that they won't come looking for you ever again

When you behave in a normal, healthy, productive manner--and feel like a phony. "This isn't the real me. Everybody knows I'm actually a flake."

When someone on here takes a cheap shot at you and you seriously think about deleting yourself from the world because of it and you think the only reason people have befriended you is because they only feel sorry for and not that they want to know the POS you are.

When the car breaks down and you blame yourself and get so upset you make you're self sick.

When thinking about suicide makes you feel ridiculous because a POS like you would never be able to follow through with anything anyway.