4) You know you are Borderline when...

When you go to the DR to get help with depression and anxiety and they give you something that would actually help, so you look up the names at home to see if the meds will get you high because you havent already done mass amounts of research on these particular drugs.

When you just want to end your life because it's very pointless in every way.

When one minute your on the Superman rollercoaster (Movie World, Australia) and next minute your sitting in a bumper car with a 6 yr old and you realise this.is.your.life!

One person makes you angry and you treat the whole world like its their fault by giving them the cold shoulder and acting like they are just figments of your imagination.

No matter what advice you are given you say to all of it f**k it, I know better and I will do it my way...and mess up more in the process!

Sounds like me on my pdoc appts

you think your the greatest thing since sliced bread one minute and the next minute feel you are the worse person in the world.

when feeling stable bores the life out of you!

When one of your most common thoughts is, 'ugh, I'll do it tomorrow.'

You know your borderline when you haven't eaten for 2 days and you get Panda Express. You purposely save most of it for later that night so you wont go to bed hungry. There are three other containers in the fridge and only YOURS gets eaten. The only logical thinking is everyone knows you haven't eaten for a while, knows you really want your panda and its the only thing your living for at that moment so they go and eat YOURS intentionally. While simultaneously making a dinner they specifically made because they KNOW you love it when really you fking hate it and assume they know that you hate it and that's why they did all of that. To make me miserable. Get severely mad for multiple days. I'm still pissed. Sorry I know it was long.

When you spend two months after being told you have bpd reading EVERYTHING on the internet hoping to prove the doctor is wrong, and then read this thread and realise he might actually be right - and still hate him for it

I spent the last year doing that!

When you decide it'll be a great idea to change your hair colour from dark to light all in one day, totally mess it up and look like a mongoloid tiger, then have to go over it with a weird brown colour, also hate that and decide that tomorrow you'll go red or purple or something like that. Still haven't decided.

When you are having a great evening and nothing is going wrong you start to wonder wth is this, anxiety looms and a binge eat ends up occurring (the ED side adjoining to the BPD)

When you are seeing the shrink tomorrow which probably triggered the past comment and feel like there's no point cos nothing has changed from two weeks ago and it's just going to be the same old crap and you're stuck forever with *this*

When your bf tells you that you often say 'f**k that sh$t' and you catch yourself saying it, multiple times per day >_> Usually in response to something you don't want to do.

When you're procrastinating on here coming up to 2am, waiting for meds to kick in and hoping you can get some darn sleep without a million thoughts going on.

Started to vent about the opposite sex on the relationships forum and deleted it. Just CBB with it. I mean wtf cares anymore

...when every time you change your mood status, you suddenly no longer feel the way you just "posted," and you feel like changing it again--but then you just knew that if you do, your feelings will "change back" and you end up thinking the whole situation way too hard.....

All these things sound like what goes on in my mind.
I lost my Gf over having no control over sending explicit text messages to a girl from the net.
Just to get a kick while she was out having fun without me.
My life is a ruin.

When you just overthink everything.

OMG THAT IS SO HILARIOUS. Funny that I just wrote something to a friend and pointed out how I was doing just that about something! lmfao!

when smooth sailing.... it seems and the wind is good but suddenly. Iceberg.

...you check Craigslist personals to see if your SO has been posting anywhere behind your back. Then...hah! I knew it...that "LOL" on that ad was typed in the same manner as my SO types it.

You really believe you've gotten better than you read the posts on here and realize you still do the same things as before you just are better at hiding from "normal people".

When people love to hate you and the feeling is not mutual.

When you feel good and are convinced there was never really anything really wrong with you

When you wish you could meet someone who really understands you, but then you realize that the only way for them to understand is if they too suffer as you do. You then wonder if two people with BPD can coexist without going into a downward spiral self loathing and emptiness. But then again the could help each other through the darkness. Who knows.

When you get caught out and would rather lie further than to admit it and show them they're right. And then when the lie is believed you feel this great sense of relief but hate yourself for it because you don't want to be a liar