[DatPuSeaCatLuvr]

My step-mom assured herself (and me) that she knows this is in no way her fault (despite her overly controlling, my way or no way, 'don't think, just do what I tell you' and otherwise totally invalidating parenting methods)...she feels my birth mother who repeatedsl abandoned me throughout my child hood is entirely to blame. Andd then assuered me that she totally understands what I'm going through and has for years....despite the fact that she has no idea that I've had issues with self injury for 7 years, and she is blissfully unaware of a few very crucial detatils of my sexual abuse, and that I've become dangerously suicidal. And she really proved how little she truly understands when she asked what I'm going to do when my friend and rooommated gets sick of me and kicks me out. My dad's only response was to ask if I'm going to try to 'jump on the disability bandwagon' now...despite the fact that i have full time job im totally capable of maintaining, with a little discipline. =.=

[greentires4me]

sounds like they were real help in the regards you were looking for and your dad my the quick response of being on the disability bandwagon. Its great to hear that you have a full time job and are able to take care of your self in that respects.

so now what is the real respose is what you going to do with them are you going to still look for support in their direction and take everything they said with a grain of salt or you going not talk to them more about until you see some real humanly response.

huge hugs to you. i'm sorry that there are people like this in the world. on behalf of humanity i think apologies are in order...

i can relate, though. the people who raised me to be what i am, they all want to blame each other but seriously, it's kind of funny. sometimes i'll tell them about something they did, but act like it's one of my friends, and they'll act so sorry for the "friend" and talk about what bad parents they must have.

i don't talk to them about anything anymore.

[shortandcute]

I haven't really told anyone but my 25 year old son about my BPD. but my oldest sister, who was my legal guardian for two years, knows thaeres something wrong. But she refuses to admit that she and her husband had any part the hell went thru. They kept insisting that the only I have problems is because I was married to my first husband---which was years ago. But the funny thing, they blackmailed me into it because they didn't want me living with them anymore and didn't want people getting mad at them for asking me to leave. They always tell me, "You were fine until you married ________!" And I always remind of them what really happened, and my sister--who's 58!--actually throws a tantrum and goes on about how i owe her and that she "rescued" me and all that BS.

[kaliope]

it reminds me of when my parents found out I was getting counseling when I turned 18. they sat me down, addressed the fact that I was in counseling and then said "its nothing we did, is it?"

it sure would be nice to get support from our loved ones in times like this but since they are typically the source of our conflict it cant be expected. I cut myself off from my family and that was the beginning of my healing. I surround myself with positive supportive people today and am doing well with that.

Glad to hear you are high functioning. that will take you far.

[krisakira]

Excuse me? Disability bandwagon? What an ***.

I would never tell my family about my BPD for fear of having just that kind of experience.

[UnderTheRose]

My mom just blows it off when i tell her. Says ---No, no.. everyone's like that, it's normal.-- and im like 'uh, you're not in my head ' but she just gets frustrated with me and then i decide i f'n hate her and its all bad. sooooo we dont talk about it. She asks how i am, i say 'I'm fine' and she says, 'mind if i come visit?' and i say 'no, im in that 'normal' sort of mood where i want to put holes in my wall because the kitchen is messy and i am contemplating smashing all my dishes instead of washing them because my husband mentioned i haven't been keeping up on the housework lately... GRRRR --- i dont know whats worse, people immediately becoming defensive about it when you tell them, or people not believing.

[Flooded]

When I told my sister she said " oh, I ALWAYS knew there was something wrong with you!"

Dickhead.

[shortandcute]

one response i got was, "But you seem so nice"

[shlump]

hmmm...don't know much borderline, but a weird response

do you agree?

[shlump]

Originally Posted by DatPuSeaCatLuvr

My step-mom assured herself (and me) that she knows this is in no way her fault (despite her overly controlling, my way or no way, 'don't think, just do what I tell you' and otherwise totally invalidating parenting methods)...she feels my birth mother who repeatedsl abandoned me throughout my child hood is entirely to blame. Andd then assuered me that she totally understands what I'm going through and has for years....despite the fact that she has no idea that I've had issues with self injury for 7 years, and she is blissfully unaware of a few very crucial detatils of my sexual abuse, and that I've become dangerously suicidal. And she really proved how little she truly understands when she asked what I'm going to do when my friend and rooommated gets sick of me and kicks me out. My dad's only response was to ask if I'm going to try to 'jump on the disability bandwagon' now...despite the fact that i have full time job im totally capable of maintaining, with a little discipline. =.=

I'm so sorry to hear that...to you have anywhere to turn besides family?