just got some gift cards from family (note, that's husband's family) with the premise that we should get some nice fun stuff for ourselves and the kids. i hate gift cards like that (they're to walmart) because i never know what to get other than essentials like food, diapers and toilet paper. i posted about it, like an idiot, on facebook, and a bunch of women from my hometown posted, saying that i shouldn't spend it on anything but essentials because if i can manage to still be able to afford the essentials without the gift cards then i shouldn't have been given the cards in the first place because i don't really deserve it.

that's basically what i got out of it, but in not so many words. idk. i'm probably reading into it a lot more than i should, but based on past experiences with these stupid women i know that's what they mean.

they pissed me off. i deleted the post with their comments. i'm so ready to move away from this place. when we move, i'm destroying all my connections. nobody cares anyway. no one should, i guess. my own parents don't, why should anyone else.

so yeah...i'm not supposed to try to feel better. i think i'm going to stay home from work today. i haven't felt right in a few days now. my T is out of town so no therapy for three weeks. very stressed out. i just want to die. or at least go into a coma without life support. i need to write out a will. i haven't felt right for a while now...

[Ultra Darkness]

That was a horrible thing for those people to say. I'll bet if one of them had a gift card, they'd feel like they deserved it even if they were rich.

I hate people like that.

what i wrote was a paraphrase. i don't know these people well enough to know if they'd feel like they deserved it. i know my parents would, though. i'm probably projecting what i think my parents would say into what i got out of what those other people were saying. and yes, i hate people like that too.

i just want to feel okay about wanting to use the money given to me to help me cope with my weight gain from the kids. part of me says it's okay, i should use it to get something nice like my in-laws intended, but another part of me says that i'm being stupid and i shouldn't buy anything because it wouldn't look good on me anyway.

today's one of my down days, apparently. now i can't decide if i want to call in to work. no one up there knows i have any real problems, and i'm the only cashier, for some stupid reason.

Yeah I agree that you shouldn't spend on essentials but I understand how you're thinking. :/ I'm not that way too much, as if I get any kind of extra cash I can't bring myself to use it for essentials unless I have to.

As for the people that pissed you off. Think of it this way, it's not that they wanted to piss you off or think that you don't deserve it, but that maybe they don't have a good way with words and you've been triggered. Thing is, we have a tendency to not like it when people say something contrary to how we're feeling. Hey it's natural, most of us have been talked out of feeling like we do for years and we're sick of that right? So them telling you you shouldn't do that is like them not understanding or accepting how you feel. That's not at all what they were thinking. They may not have gotten the gist of what you were saying and maybe even had good intentions trying to give you the permission to treat yourself! I think that's more likely.

Try to back off for the moment but don't cut anyone off for that Not permanently...

they were saying that they only ever spend gift cards on essentials. if they're "lucky enough" to get extra money they spend it on things they really need. apparently, buying clothes is a "splurge", to quote one of them. she said she got a gift card once (granted, this is without any context, she didn't explain the situation) and she used all of it to buy diapers and stuff and just happened to have a little extra and "splurged on a shirt for [her daughter]". someone else said something about how "normal people" only ever spend gift cards on essentials, and that "people who aren't normal go off and spend it on jewelry, clothes, etc." basically stuff they don't need. and that's not paraphrasing or anything, that's actually what was said (hence quotation marks).

so...at least to that one woman, i'm not normal for wanting just a little bit to go on a tiny shopping spree.

also, that same woman said i was going to ruin my marriage if i made any friends.

as for cutting people off, i'm moving across the country in less than six months so **** 'em all, lol. but i didn't say anything to them about being upset. just deleted the status update. will clean out my friends list when enough time has passed that it's not noticeable.

ok so fact is, I would change my reply to "ignore the fcktards" lol. It does sound like they are being critical and judgemental and who needs that sh//t?

I draw a very clear line between gifts and necessities. I do not give gifts that are the types of everyday things someone needs unless they are dirt poor and it would be very helpful to them. It's just not a gift to me. I hate gift cards though, in that they are not really very thoughtful or special. But when I get one I draw the same clear line and it's not really hard to treat myself to something frivolous or unnecessary because of that line I draw.

I don't think you should feel guilty whatsoever about using the gift for things you want rather than need. I think as a gift you deserve to do what you like with it though whether you do that or not, and do it either way without guilt.

Originally Posted by DreamAddiction37

as for cutting people off, i'm moving across the country in less than six months so **** 'em all, lol. but i didn't say anything to them about being upset. just deleted the status update. will clean out my friends list when enough time has passed that it's not noticeable.

TBH if I were fed up enough with someone or some people I wouldn't care if it went unnoticed or not. I'd remove them flat out. The only people I care to just unsubscribe from are my real friends that tend to overpost haha. If they asked me I would tell them so.. and it would be cool anyway cus they are my friends and would understand.

[Ultra Darkness]

I don't think it counts as "splurging" to buy clothes if you need them. Heck, I don't see how clothes can be considered that way at all, unless you're the kind of person who can look at a full closet of clothes that fit and say there's nothing to wear.

I would never spend a gift, whether it's a card or a check, on essentials unless I needed them. Of course, I rarely get such a gift anyway, so.

we ran out of diapers and food so i ended up spending my card on that anyway, haha. we don't get paid until Friday but at least when we do we'll be back on track. i don't know what i would spend it on otherwise. husband might get a video game, maybe. the kids got some clothes but still have another gift card for them...

[Ultra Darkness]

Video games are fun. To me, at least.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

...unless you're the kind of person who can look at a full closet of clothes that fit and say there's nothing to wear.

Yeah I do that HAHAHAHAHA jk