[savgar]

I'm not asking anyone to diagnose me... I've already been bpd diagnosed a few days ago but I'm more confused than before. My bpd does not affect all of my relationships. I do have several emotional overreactions fueled by anger or extreme heightened annoyance over simple things. But when that happens my reaction is to completely shut down... for hours and sometimes days. Everything I have been told/ have seen is that bpd people yell, break or throw things etc. I don't want to be ignorant or misinformed and it would be helpful if anyone would share what your daily life is like. Does your bpd affect all your relationships or just a few? How often do you have emotional overreactions? Does anyone have bpd but in a more internal or silent way? Do your emotions get the best of you when you shut people out as opposed to shouting or blaming? Is it about the symptoms or how we react to them individually? I don't want to be intrusive.. I just want to understand

[shortandcute]

I used to be more explosive; I would go into these terrible rages, and did some pretty awful things, like hold a knife to a boyfriend's neck, ripping the hair right out of people's head, black out and wake up to find myself pounding peoples faces to the floor, etc. I still get very angry but I've tried too hard to overcompensate, so I would often internalize my anger, stuff my face with food to the point where I was morbidlly obese, stuff my feelings so much that I ended up blowing up anyway, resorting to online pornography, harrassing old boyfriends, etc. I often withdraw also and stay away from people now--partly because of my anxiety and partly because I just don't like dealing with people and Im afraid of losing my cool with them. I go back and forth between shutting people out and shouting, blaming. Because of this, I've been told that I'm like "two different people living in the same body," people asking if I had DID, etc.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I would recommend the book I Hate You, Don't Leave Me. It really helped me. As far as my daily life is concerned, my biggest issue is my mood shifts and the inability to regulate my emotions. I have gotten some good treatment over the past 2 years and I am much better at that than I used to be. My BPD does not affect all my relationships. One of the things that I learned from the book is that we are not borderline is all situations. What I have found is that the closer I am to someone the more likely my borderline tendencies are to show. I hope now that you have your diagnosis you will be able to get the help you need. And educate yourself about your disorder. Anything by Marsha Linehan is a good place to start. She developed a treatment called DBT and is borderline herself. I truly believe that when I began to learn about the disorder for myself is when I truly began to get better. Hope this helps.

[Trippin2.0]

My bpd doesn't rear it ugly head with all relationships or even all the time. Its at its worst with my bf and occasionally gets ugly with people I regard close to me.

That being said, everyday is not a bpd day. Its been a borderline week for me though because bf told me he'll be out of town for a while come next week.

Ugh I know he's coming back, I know he wont be gone long, I know he has to go, Its not like I even see him everyday now anyway.
But that doesn't change the fact that he's going... and my emotional reaction to this has me angry at myself.

Uhm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent

My reactions vary, I may act out or may act in and turn on myself. It depends on the situation for me.

[Unknown Shadow]

I usually keep my emotions to myself, only in some stressful situations I start to feel insecure and explode. I also get some kind of emotional blast every time someone gets too close (starts to ask about too personal things or tries to help me). But most of the time I suppress my emotions, and that after all is the reason I started to SI.
And welcome to PC by the way.