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#176
Nov 09, 2013, 04:04 PM
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I'm okay...kind of uncomfortable. Just need a little attention...please?
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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 Bill3
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#177
Nov 09, 2013, 05:11 PM
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Quote:
 Today has been a bad day. A meltdown at swim lessons meant my son was pulled kicking and screaming from the pool. He has spent the afternoon in his room. I was up at 4 am and am exhausted but afraid to sleep and not sleep again tonight.
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| atomicc, Bill3
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#178
Nov 09, 2013, 06:45 PM
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I'm sorry you're having a bad day :/. I am as well..I'm trying to drink it away.
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Bill3, technigal
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#179
Nov 09, 2013, 10:08 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
 Bill3
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#180
Nov 09, 2013, 10:16 PM
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Someone commented on one of my posts and made me feel like crap..
I don't mean to be the way I am :/
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Bill3
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#181
Nov 09, 2013, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
 Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk
__________________
 Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
| lynn808
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| atomicc, Bill3, lynn808
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#182
Nov 09, 2013, 11:15 PM
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I am trying to decide my direction...the one I truly want...not the many facades my brain so eagerly creates for me.
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"Yes yes y’all and it never stops I don’t trust the government, I don’t trust no cops We dip and we dive and we socialize We struggle and we strive just to stay alive." ~Everlast~ |
| Bill3
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#183
Nov 10, 2013, 07:49 AM
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Quote:
Thank you, love I'm feeling a little better today. I just wish people would think before they say things, especially in this forum.
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| lynn808
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| Bill3, lynn808
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#184
Nov 10, 2013, 07:55 AM
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Having issues with my partner that are causing me to push him away. Just the site or sound of him gets on my nerves lately.
At least I'm finally over my cold. On the bright side, I think I might have made a new friend. I can never be sure at first though, sometimes the BPD causes me to over think things. Hope everyone is having a good day. |
| Anonymous37965, Aphrodites_Muse, lynn808
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| Bill3, lynn808
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#185
Nov 11, 2013, 10:57 AM
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Just one of those days, I can already tell
 I didn't want to wake up this morning. At least I have the energy to sing, but its all negative energy. I got left out of seeing my family yesterday and was in a lot of (emotional) pain. I wish I was as good as the shell/mask that I can put on in the presence of people I don't know/trust, I wish I looked as good as my idealized version of myself, I wish I was more secure/stable emotionally. The only stability is instability, the only security is insecurity. 
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| Anonymous200125, Aphrodites_Muse, Bill3, lynn808
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| lynn808
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#186
Nov 11, 2013, 12:03 PM
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Today is Remembrance day in Canada. In an hour my family will observe 2 minutes of silence while we remember those that have served to make our country free. I get emotional remembering that my grandfathers fought in WWII, my one grandma worked in an ammunition factory.
Today is about them. Lest we forget.
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| lynn808
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| Bill3, lynn808
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#187
Nov 11, 2013, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Yes yes y’all and it never stops I don’t trust the government, I don’t trust no cops We dip and we dive and we socialize We struggle and we strive just to stay alive." ~Everlast~ |
| lynn808
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#188
Nov 11, 2013, 11:19 PM
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I wasted away the day in bed...not sure why I was so tired. Spent most of the day pissed off at myself cuz I slept the day away. I had to skip my meds cuz it was too late in the day when I woke. It hasn't been a bad day per se, it's just been unproductive when it should've been productive. Mad at myself I guess.
__________________
"Yes yes y’all and it never stops I don’t trust the government, I don’t trust no cops We dip and we dive and we socialize We struggle and we strive just to stay alive." ~Everlast~ |
| HealingNSuffering, lynn808
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| Bill3, lynn808
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#189
Nov 13, 2013, 09:33 AM
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Been a mix of punishing and rewarding myself for the last 2 days since my last update. I want to try to make today a good day, and accomplish a lot, so I can feel good about myself for a short time again. Right now I feel like a total screw up.
 Something triggered me the other day and I went crazy for a couple days and did some things I regret now.
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| Anonymous200125, Bill3, lynn808
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| lynn808
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#190
Nov 13, 2013, 09:49 AM
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I just wish I had answers one way or another
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| Anonymous200125, Bill3, lynn808
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| lynn808
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#191
Nov 13, 2013, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
*hugs* ~S4 |
| lynn808
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| lynn808
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#192
Nov 13, 2013, 10:57 AM
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Kind of/sort of anxious, but not unreasonably. I have a big chunk of change to pay by the end of December so I can move to an apartment finally. I hve no furniture at all to move in with, I have a big electric payment to make for them to turn it on.. Christmas is coming.. not that I can do much of anything... which stresses me out, since I have two pre-teen boys. I mean they are taken care of, but I like giving them gifts and it will suck this year. :/
I'm not freaking out but mildly anxious about all of it. |
| Alokin, Anonymous200125, Aphrodites_Muse, lynn808
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| lynn808
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#193
Nov 13, 2013, 11:58 AM
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Kind of a bit distant from the BPD forum lately... Feel not a part of it anymore. But then I don't really feel like I belong anywhere or have anything much to say...apart from my normal whinge.
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| Anonymous12111009, Anonymous43209, Bill3, HealingNSuffering, lynn808, technigal
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#194
Nov 13, 2013, 01:10 PM
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Quote:
It's such a transient place - people come and go, other's feel they're ready to move on or feel like they've made as much of this place as they can. It can make for quite an unsettled environment at times. But nobody will think wrongly of you for wanting a bit of space or voicing any concerns that you have. It's all valid, all worthy of care and attention. Do as you see fit, we'll understand
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| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#195
Nov 13, 2013, 06:45 PM
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Went to T today and was actually able to cry there
 and told her everything that happened, she didn't punish me for being a bad patient and relapsing. What a good therapist still hurting, but I think hurting is fine, as long as I'm not hurting myself.
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| Bill3, technigal
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#196
Nov 15, 2013, 11:33 AM
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Today is day 7 of working straight. I'm not off until the 28th. Can feel my mind already trying to turn in to a pile of goo that can't stop thinking. It'll be interesting.
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Maranara |
| Anonymous37965, Bill3
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#197
Nov 21, 2013, 02:49 PM
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Still feeling very depressed despite almost 2 months on 300 mg of wellbutrin
Met with my New therapist today. (on number 9 or 10  ) She seemed nice. I cried during our session. I rarely ever cry during therapy but this time I cried on my first freaking visit. She seems nice. Compassionate. She wants me seen by a doc asap and offered to go with me! In all the years of therapy I never had one willing to accompany me to a med app. She said the doc needs a fuller picture of my struggles and she wants to make sure im being heard. She told me to stop being so hard on myself till next time and that she wants to work on my sense of self worth and help me process things from the past. Next app dec 4. Till then please let me not have another meltdown Im such a mess. Trying to stay somewhat busy helps. Looking forward to stuffing my face with my favorite comfort foods  One day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time... . |
| Aphrodites_Muse, Bill3, technigal
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| Bill3
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#198
Nov 21, 2013, 06:09 PM
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I have so much to do today and I don't want to do any of it. I want to stick a pillow over my head and daydream.
Mum still hasn't emailed me back after I told her I had been put on a mental health plan for BPD.. No surprise really after I told her not to tell me I need Jesus... My ex boyfriend left today for a week fishing off shore.. which means he wont text me for a week.. I think I will miss him and I dont even sure why... I think I might read a book. Is this how we do it here on this thread? ahaha? I am new..
__________________
"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened". - Mark Twain. |
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#199
Nov 21, 2013, 11:41 PM
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Feeling quite down today...not sure...been a little over two weeks since med increase. I was actually feeling less depressed on the lower dosage. Is that normal? I'm sleeping too much, no energy to go anywhere or do anything. I really need a job, but that requires looking. How did I become so pathetic and empty? It wasn't always this way, but my brain grows more cruel with age....feeling really bummed...at a loss.
__________________
"Yes yes y’all and it never stops I don’t trust the government, I don’t trust no cops We dip and we dive and we socialize We struggle and we strive just to stay alive." ~Everlast~ |
| Bill3
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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