why do I even bother trying

I am so pissed off at my DH right now. We had another big fight over his not thinking. Ever since his Asperger's diagnosis a year ago he has quit trying and then blaming it on the Asperger's. He used to be quite good at figuring things out, such as when bringing breakfast home for his wife it should still be breakfast time! My blood sugars dropped a lot while waiting, 90 minutes later I called to find out what the **** was going on. I mean he was going to McDonald's which is maybe 10 blocks away from us... he let the boy play in the play park without letting me know what was going on. But I am the unreasonable one for getting mad!!

so sorry to hear that your husband forgot about you and was careless.

He gave in to the little boy who wanted to play so bad and in the heat of the moment forgot what he was really there for. But I get it you were hungry and waiting on him to come back to you. By the time he got back I am sure you could of made your own breakfast and eat the other one as a secondary breakfast. Its the thought that counts right?

Tech, I'm sorry. It does sound as if you have your hands full. How have you coped with your husband's illness in the past. I mean, I know he just got the diagnosis a year ago (actually you can't really diagnose Aspergers in an adult, but that's a different discussion) but he's been this way all his life. So, how did you cope when you were dating or first married? You might want to try and use some of those tools again. Even though you say he has quit trying since his DX, he must have had some issues to get the Dx in the first place. Can you all go to counseling together?

Hey Technigal,

I am sorry you are dealing with more stress. I hope things get better sooner than later.

I will be simple.

Near the end of your post, you said, "But I am the unreasonable one for getting mad!!"

I will say this - you are entitled to your own feelings. You have every right to be upset. You are allowed to be angry. If your husband takes that away from you - he is invalidating your feelings - and thus, he is not respecting you. In order for things to work - both of you need to validate one another's feelings - because there is a genuine reason why you're feeling in the first place.

The only thing I will caution you on is: be careful how you react to your anger and frustration. It's easy to explode. (As every human knows)

Thanks,
HD7970Ghz

true although they are basing it on things recorded from his childhood and then with our son. The two are very much alike.

We will be going to counseling soon. We were just waiting for benefits to kick in at his work, they have now.

I explode way too easily but he also knows how to make me explode, he knows all the words that hurt the deepest. He pulled the BPD card and walked away. Now he is acting like nothing happened...

At least our Thanksgiving supper turned out great.

He actually planned on going to the play park the whole time. By the time he got home my blood sugars had dropped a lot and that made things worse. If he had said where he was going I would not have had him bring me anything. There are many things that I am supposed to just know without being told.

your just psychic I get it...

maybe he promised your little guy its where they were going afterwards ?