[duende]

I regret it...

[MoxieDoxie]

Why do you regret it?

[duende]

I completely alienated myself from everyone?! Everyone is avoiding me now. I was simply just beginning to share what I go through. Now I feel really really sh!!ty and ashamed and just all around like I have NO ONE and I'm just doomed to keep repeating this in my life i guess..

[MoxieDoxie]

Do you mean people on here are alienating you?!

[learningtolive2013]

I have felt that way before too.. I'm sorry you're feeling ashamed, it's one of the most predominant feelings of BPD and is one cause of self destructive behaviors. At least for me anyway.. You are not alone (((hugs)))

[duende]

I just feel like I keep going "too far" and like I just scare people away all the efffing time. I'm so so sick of it. I'm sorry..

[duende]

Maybe. Sorry.

[duende]

I have like no one in my life anymore that even understands.

[duende]

So sorry. I better get started with my studying. Thanks for reading. Take care.

[MoxieDoxie]

We understand and you do not scare us away

[duende]

No. Moxie. I meant that I am alienating myself from everyone and I never meant to. I'm just losing everyone. Or at least that's what I feel like. It's not rational.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by duende

I completely alienated myself from everyone?! Everyone is avoiding me now. I was simply just beginning to share what I go through. Now I feel really really sh!!ty and ashamed and just all around like I have NO ONE and I'm just doomed to keep repeating this in my life i guess..

I don't think you have alienated yourself from everyone here. Remember we are all in different time zones, people work, give us time to respond.

You have no reason to feel ashamed. This is a safe place for us to talk about anything and everything.

[duende]

I hate this feeling..Me and "everyone else". I don't mean to relate like that..

[duende]

I'm sorry. I'm just really trying to do my best to be honest and transparent with everyone. I am truly thankful for anyone putting up with my needy posts. And it seriously doesn't help that I'm also a guy. That really adds yet another awesome layer to things.

[duende]

So sorry. I need to just get on with the rest of my day. Thanks for responding.

[hawaii04]

Regret does nothing at all positive. Others are still there for you even if you don't feel that way right now. I know I'm glad you share what you do, it helps me and surely I speak for many of us ~ you sound a lot like me at times. And getting it out helps you some also. I always found it hard to be single; there's no explaining the feeling really. Right now I have the opposite 'problem' in that I feel like I WANT to be alone because my BPD symptoms wouldn't be so extensive (but I guess I know better We are here when you need us and always glad to listen and help if we can. You won't scare us, but we may scare you.

[duende]

I cringe at all I've posted. Part of me thinks I should just delete my account with PC. But..I'll resist and just hang on and wait til the end of the day :/

[sabby]

No need to feel ashamed at all. This is a mental health site and we all have things we are struggling with. Sometimes we are feeling needy or lonely or angry and we need to post about it. It's good to get it out into the light because then you can begin to deal with it in a more healthy way.

Remember that our feelings are not always indicitive of the truth or of reality. Feelings can change from moment to moment. And that's okay.

I hope you are feeling better very soon. Many understand how you are feeling and are here to support you through it all.

[duende]

Regret does nothing at all positive. Others are still there for you even if you don't feel that way right now. I know I'm glad you share what you do, it helps me and surely I speak for many of us ~ you sound a lot like me at times. And getting it out helps you some also.

Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot.

We are here when you need us and always glad to listen and help if we can. You won't scare us, but we may scare you.

Thoughts I want to share with this..
I never meant to be so negative, bring anyone down or be anything but myself. That said, I've just been struggling with this whole being alone bit. It sucks. It's unbearable. But..here I am. So, that said, I was simply trying to share myself, be candid. But, as is often the case, I scare people away with my neediness. I hate that. If there's one thing I ask from anyone (since I'm just being candid here)...I struggle with feeling paranoid and completely outside of groups often. I'm super sensitive to feeling this "Us" or "We" and "You" dynamic. But yeah, mostly just wanted to say thanks for reading and sharing.

[duende]

Oh no. I've got the administrator responding :/ Thanks?

[duende]

Yeah, I'll wait til the end of the day before making some decision to delete my account..

[Gingersnapsmom]

I don't think there is any need for regret on here!

[Trippin2.0]

Duende, whom have you alienated? Have you sent messages and not received responses? As previously mentioned, we are all on different corners of the Earth. Take me for instance; I'm up almost 20hrs a day, most days, but I don't check VM's very often as I'm primarily using my phone, and only friends and contacts can PM me...

You have not scared me off, that's for sure. I encouraged you to be more honest with us, to gain a better understanding of your current predicament, and would never watch you take that very scary leap and then turn my back on you.

I'm sorry if I personally added to these feelings of being avoided, even if it was unintentional.

I'm so proud of you, and you should be too. There's nothing shameful in your posting, nothing to regret, and certainly nothing to delete your account over

I'm also proud of you for voicing your feelings in this thread as it has given you an opportunity to do a bit of a reality check, and thus having concrete evidence that you are well liked and accepted here.

Proud of you and hope you can be too

[duende]

Wow. Where to begin?

In terms of time differences, yes please excuse me for ever being California-centric. I'll just share this...I get super paranoid when anyone I care about doesn't respond. I'm very aware of it and I hate when I go through this. And I hate it even more when I think of anyone else dealing with it. I feel really really sh!!tty. Please know that this is totally something I'm working on.

I'm still feeling raw for what I've shared. And that's my fault. I never meant to be needy. I just want to be liked..ugh. There...that's really all I'm about. I know that's a really awesome and charming trait since I'm a guy, but whatever. This is how I am...super sensitive and constantly worried that I'm hated or creepy or something. I promise there's more to me. When I'm not consumed in a moment like this, I care. I empathize. I listen. Okay, that's all I'll say with that.

I still need to think about things....

[sabby]

Originally Posted by duende

Oh no. I've got the administrator responding :/ Thanks?

Just reaching out to support you is all. No need to be worried. I don't bite, I may growl a little bit sometimes but I don't bite. lol